Idk how many rants this blog will garner, but I figured numbering them might be good? idk, who cares.
This rant will be about my in-laws. Oh, in-laws. Now, mine aren’t too bad, the mother-in-law is just very controlling and manipulative. My husband and I are going to Pizza Hut with them tomorrow since that’s where his sister works... yeah that’s another subject.
Let’s start with some backstory! Okay, basically I was going to college full-time and my husband was working in a factory. It got to the point where he was pulling 12 hour shifts 7 days a week and it was becoming detrimental on his health. He’d already been to the hospital 3-4 other times because of that place and he had built up too many sick days so the next day off was a termination. Well, he was well on his way to his next hospital visit. Due to holidays his department was working overtime. He was starting to display symptoms that he had when he went to the hospital the first time. I convinced him to quit. We had some money saved up and we thought he’d be able to get another job easily, especially with 2 associate’s degrees. Nope.
Our money ran out so we had to rely on his parents and grandparents to help us with bills. He tried and tried to get a job. He’s put in well over 100 applications since then (he’s finally getting interviews now at least). Well, he eventually got hired back on at the factory, but his 2nd day back he had a seizure and was put off work. If he were to go back he’d need to be in a different department. Basically he was through a temp service and the factory didn’t hire him back. Fast forward 3 months or so and we’re now living with my parents.
How is this a rant to his parents, well, his mom? Well, for starters she doesn’t treat him well at all. His sister recently graduated with a bachelor’s. He had wanted to go to a university, 2 different times, but for some reason they told him he wasn’t capable even though he had just as good of grades as his sister throughout high school and is just as smart. But you know, they think all he’s good for is manual labor. Then, his mom thinks he can just walk into a place and get a job. That brings us up to present day for this point. His sister basically did just that so now expectations are higher. She always tells him that he’s lazy and she doesn’t think he’s trying. Like bitch? How do you know? He works his ass off trying to find jobs, but she just makes assumptions because you know, it’s so easy to walk into a place and get a job. -_- She’s always guilt tripping him about things. Yes, they helped us for over a year and someday we’ll pay them back, but I HATE that she’s using it against us.
Then comes us moving in with my parents. She’s salty about that since they’re the ones who gave us money (my parents weren’t able since they’re kinda poor themselves). We had 2 reasons for moving in with my parents: 1) They were closer. We were too stressed to attempt to get all of our stuff an hour away. It took us a week with 2 vehicles to move 10 minutes away. 2) My parents are getting older. His parents are 10+ years younger than my parents, big difference. But no, she sends my husband a message saying we treat my parents better even though them helping us put them in a bind (see what I mean about guilt tripping?) and that my husband is the one making the sacrifices and I always get what I want.
lolololol I’d like to know when I’ve gotten what I wanted. She has no right, NO RIGHT to judge my life when she barely knows me. Did I get what I wanted when I moved into a crappy apartment that had faulty electric, a non-working stove, no air, a bathtub and floors that were falling in? No. She’s the one who had us call about it and convinced us to move in. Did I get what I wanted when my husband got sick from his job? No. I hated every second he was there because I never knew when I’d get a call saying he had to go to the hospital. That place sucked the life out of him. Did I get what I wanted when my anxiety became so bad I started dropping classes and eventually withdrawing from school? No. I hate that so much. I went for 5 years and now have nothing but debt to show for it. DID I GET WHAT I WANTED WHEN WE HAD TO SIGN UP FOR FOODSTAMPS??? FUCKING NO! Did I get what I wanted when we were evicted from our apartment? No. It was a crappy place, but I wanted to leave on my own terms. I never get what I want, not even when it comes to little things. Did I get what I wanted when we moved in with my parents? Nope. I love my parents, but I don’t like living with them. But they’re better than the in-laws. Hah, if only she knew her son would rather live with my parents than them.
My husband wrote back to her that it wasn’t meant to be like that, we just did what was easier and we didn’t want to burden them anymore. But then she... ugh, she wrote back along the lines of: “You would never be a burden to us, but I think you feel like moving back here would be a burden to you because we would find you work.” I feel bile rising up at that statement. He tried to find work up there before he got hired on at the factory (before we got married) and there wasn’t anything. He was going to work in his uncle’s butcher shop a couple months ago, but they hired somebody and didn’t need help. Certain driving conditions makes him sick so he can’t really be trusted a job that requires driving all day. But yeah, she would find him work even though he’s been trying for over a year. Okay. Says the woman who’s worked at the same place since she was a teenager.
The worst part, everytime my husband gets a message from his mom he’s scared. Yeah, scared to read a message from his mom because either she’ll just be making casual conversation, or she’ll be in a mood and putting him down and making him feel like crap all based on her presumptions and not facts. “I never thought our relationship would be like this...” is one of her usual starters. It’s her fault. She could be a good parent and try to be supportive, not making her son feel like the worst person in the world. But I guess that would be too hard.
Then there’s his younger sister. Okay, I like her, she’s cool and I have stuff in common with her. Totally don’t have a problem with her personally. But his parents put her on a freaking pedestal. She talks back to them and gets grouchy yet they never say anything. My husband never did that and if he did his dad probably would have knocked his head off. Idk if they think since his sister is a woman and the baby of the family they need to, well, baby her, or what. There’s also the fact they were always supportive of her going to university, always did things for her they didn’t do for their son, never say negative things that make her want to kill herself. I’m glad she doesn’t have to experience that, but neither should my husband. She talks about him treating them bad? Yeah, a mirror might be helpful in this situation.
We felt bad every single day of the past year for having to borrow money, but they think we didn’t care. They think we purposely wanted to take their money and not have responsibilities. I’d rather eat a whole pot of beans (trust me, I despise beans) than borrow even $1 from anybody. I hate borrowing money, especially to that caliber. Like I said, someday we’ll pay all of them back. Someday we’re going to move far away. We’ll be successful and it won’t be thanks to anybody but us.
Nobody you love wants to show support so ultimately it comes down to yourself and maybe a couple other people to keep you moving forward. Those that do support you, hold them close and don’t let them go because they are far and few in between.
