AU where the Great War with Heaven and Hell VS The Earth has Crowley running around essentially using Adam as a bazooka to take out the demons, fulfilling his want to be a hero as the ineffable husbands finally date and this happens:
Crowley: ANGELLL?
Aziraphale, from other room: YES?
Crowley: Where’s the Antichristtt?
Aziraphale: WHAT?
Crowley: WHERE. IS. THE. ANTICHRIST?
Aziraphale: I, uh,
Crowley:
Aziraphale: PUT HIM DOWN FOR A NAP
Crowley: BLOODY WHERE?
Aziraphale: WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?
Crowley: I
Aziraphale:
Crowley: I NEED HIM
Aziraphale, about to throw hands: MY DEAR BOY, do not even PONDER running off into a battle right now. We have been planning this dinner for two MONTHS—
Crowley: THE UNIVERSE IS IN DANGER,
ANGEL!
Aziraphale: my EVENING is in DANGER
Crowley: aNGEL, C’MON, TELL ME WHERE ADAM IS RIGHT NOw
Aziraphale, petty:
Crowley: wE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE
G R E A T E R GOOD
Aziraphale: I AM YOUR HUSBAND, ANTHONY J CROwley, I’M THE GREATEST G O O D YOU’RE EVER GONNA GET