#incorrect superman

[lex-luther-baldy-boi]

Bruce: Stop looking at your phone so much. You know they program those apps to capture your attention by giving you rapid fire hits of dopamine, right?

Clark: *Is posting homemade memes of Krypto to his IG story* Huh - what?

Bruce: The phone. It's bad for your brain.

Clark: But everyone needs to see this picture of Krypto in his Halloween costume!!! I can't log off now...

Bruce:

Bruce: Okay, show me the picture.

Clark: *Grinning like an idiot as he passes Bruce his phone*

Bruce: ...Yeah, spread that shit like wildfire on the internet.

[jubileesstuff]

Clark: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Bruce: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Clark:

Bruce: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Diana: We know what you meant.

[thebat-musicman]

Daily Planet: Lex Luthor reportedly has new “torture vortex” in the works

Daily Planet: Lex Luthor has asked reporters to stop referring to new “luxury spa” as a “torture vortex”

Daily Planet: OPINION: Is Lex Luthor a little bitch?

[shadow-coolness]

*MAWS S3 Giganta episode prediction*

Giganta: Your mans kinda cute~

SuperGirl: Skank.

[astecea-rae]

years into their marriage but Clark and Bruce don’t know each other’s identity because

one, they both have erratic side work *wink wink* schedules which both mostly aligned

two, anything that’s about them that appears to be unusual for a normal human can be explained away by “I grew up on a farm” “I’m rich” and neither of them know enough about those backgrounds to find the explanations questionable

three, they are clever as fuck but also so dumb. so. dumb. it might as well be that everyone else in their lives that are civilians or at least not in the League know their secret identities and just assume Clark & Bruce already knew and just keep talking on the same thing but with different reasonings in their heads. “Have Master Clark come lift this crate will you (because he’s Superman)” “I’ll call him (strong farm boy)” / “can you ask Bruce about what poison this vic died of I can’t get that info from my police CI thanks Smallville (Batman can tell what poison someone died of from the autopsy report of course)” “Sure let me give him a call (rich people’s weird make up of knowledge)”

[lithiumseven]

Clark: This will give you the time to examine and process what you’re going through emotionally

Bruce: I don’t like it

Clark: Really? I love feeling feelings

Bruce: …

[greenapplebling]

Superman, watching at Batman stalking over a rooftop: Have you ever heard the expression "idiots, as smoke, like to go to high places"?

Batman, looking up at Superman floating over him: So you're double the idiot?

Superman:

Superman: Huh. You got me there

[gotham-exclusive]

Bruce: Christmas is cancelled

Clark: You can’t cancel a holiday

Bruce: Keep it up Kent and you’ll lose New Years too

Clark: What does that even mean?

Bruce: That’s it, Alfred take New Years away from Clark