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(The Three Pilots are all dressed in matching dance outfits at Misato's apartment)

Misato: Pilots naturally communicate through dance. Like so.

(Music starts playing. Shinji and Rei start dancing in sync, showing impressive moves and finish with a bit of flair)

Misato: (tears in her eyes) *Sniff, sniff* Poetic!

Asuka: (starts dancing awkwardly, doing random moves with no pattern and finishes with a pose)

(Misato, Shinji and Rei all look at her in shock)

*Beat*

Misato: (furious) DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER!

(Misato starts chasing Asuka)

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Misato: Literally name ONE thing that's better than one penguin.

Ritsuko: Two penguins?

Misato: SHIT! YOU'RE RIGHT!

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Yui: (activating in Episode 1) By the power of moonlight, I have risen. Hoot hoot.

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Gendo: (to Rei as he drops her off on her first day of school) Rei, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles.

[Beat]

Gendo: Help them.

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(The Ikaris are taking young Shinji, Rei and Asuka to the pet store)

Yui: Oh look, Shinji! This one's looking at you! (picks up young Shinji and shows him a cat)

Gendo: And this one's looking at you, Rei! (picks up Rei and shows her a dog)

Asuka: (walks through the aquarium section and all the fish swim away as she approaches) Why won't anything look at me?!

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Yui: (reconstituting into a gelatinous mound of coagulated LCL in front of Shinji, Gendo, Misato, Rei, Asuka, Ritsuko, and Fuyutsuki) Hello, everyone! It's been so long since I was out in the normal world. But I'm back! And, all those times, the Eva went berserk, it was just me! But now, I'm back and I can restart my life.

Shinji, Asuka, and Misato: EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!

Asuka: I know Ikari's bloodlines weren't much to look at, but THIS IS DISGUSTING!

Misato: Jeez, Shinji, your mom is so gross! Yet, somewhat cool. BUT COMPLETELY NASTY! Yet strangely satisfying.

Yui: What are you guys talking about? (realizes exactly what the situation is) Oh, my body hasn't fully reconstituted yet!

Misato: (pokes Yui) Heh, heh, she's fun to poke. 

Yui: Stop that! 

Asuka: (starts poking Yui as well) Hey, this is more fun than a video game! Someone grab a stick!

Shinji: (joins in on the fun) Sorry, Mom, but this is what you get for abandoning me for fourteen years. 

Rei: (joining in) This is strangely... relaxing. 

Ritsuko: (joins in and starts poking vigorously) This is childish, but oh so satisfying.

Fuyutsuki: Honestly, how childish can they get? 

Gendo: (pulls out a large poking stick) Speak for yourself, Sensei. 

Yui: GENDO!!! Guys, cut it out!

Misato: (Poking) Okey-dokey, pokey-pokey! 

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Yui: (to Gendo, in EoE, as he is having a breakdown over his mistakes) You mustn't blame yourself. Even though it is all your fault.

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Kaji: This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.

Misato: Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?

Gendo: Oh, we're not your friends. Go on.