#inkoverted thoughts

[inkovert]

I've been thinking about starting some discourse within writeblr. I don't have any IRL author friends and so I rarely know how other authors view or feel about things unless I just happen upon it in a post on social media. I just think it'd be interesting getting a wider perspective on certain things from a variety of writers/authors from different backgrounds. I think there's so many debates within the writer/reader community that can easily be looked at as a black and white issue (very much so in this modern age when people tend to have knee jerk responses/reactions to things without appreciating the nuance to the issue) but it's actually far more complex than any one person could fathom. Most of the things I've wanted others to weigh in on I don't think are too controversial...some of them are just trivial things that have bugged me/I have opinions about and some are topics where I'm like I genuinely don't think there's a right answer or a solution to this issue.

So yeah. Would be cool to see if people would be interested in something like that. I haven't decided what it would look like - maybe a question/topic that I post weekly and people can reblog with their thoughts/opinions in the post or tags? Idk. I also know that once I put it out there I have no control over what gets said or what debates get started so I just worry about starting some unnecessary drama. That's honestly the complete opposite of the purpose of this, it's specifically to be open minded and hear different people's side of things and have a healthy discourse. So...we'll see

[inkovert]

someone left the comment: 'I adore this book. literally' on my story today and like.

the dopamine rush that will leave me with for the next several months - if not years - is unmatched.

like. we always talk about the power of a writer's words, but I don't know if readers understand the power of their words. for those who read a piece of work that they enjoy and want to express that to the author but are racking their brains to figure out how or give up trying because they're self-conscious or unsure what to say. something as simple as "this shit? I like it" could be the difference in a writer giving up on a story or seeing it to completion.

at the end of the day, we just want to know that our stories are reaching someone. and that they matter to someone other than us.

often times our stories are an extension of ourselves. and telling us that they matter, makes us feel like we matter, too. it's not just a validation of our talent and skill, but a validation of our purpose and existence. and wanting that is nothing to be ashamed of.

[inkovert]

I think I just came up with the dedication for my book and it hits

[inkovert]

haven't been on here in any capacity in months and can't guarantee I won't disappear again but just wanted to hop on to dump some feelings that have cropped up lately into a post.

First, let me say that I love my story. it means the world to me. Additionally, I am fairly confident in my abilities as a writer (not saying that I don't occasionally get insecure like everyone else, but I'm past the early stages of my writing journey where I look at everything I put into words and think it's a flaming pile of garbage. I am confident that I am a competent writer and am generally good at what I do). But I'm starting to realize those two ingredients aren't enough to keep me going.

We're always bombarded with posts that say "write for yourself!" and "don't seek validation from others!" and "write what you want to write!". And, trust me, I am doing all those things. But that doesn't mean it's enough or that it solves everything. As much as I love my story/characters, and as passionate as I am about one day turning this WIP into a novel, it's SO easy to just...stop writing, despite all that. Because without some form of a reminder as to why I'm doing this or who I'm doing it for (outside of myself), it makes me question like...why bother putting words on paper for no one to see them? If I'm truly just creating for myself and myself alone, why not just leave my ideas and characters and plots in my head and day dream about them indefinitely to my hearts content? Some may immediately read that and think: it's to improve your writing skills, that's why! But after writing for years and years on end, it's pretty hard to expect to continue to linearly or exponentially improve in isolation. At the end of the day, some form of feedback is necessary for you to continue to improve - which brings us right back to square 1.

Anyway, all that is to say, I'm finding it hard to find a reason to keep writing lately. And even if I dangle the nebulous goal of publication in front of me....I'm a student living off of a stipend, and it's going to take several years for me to have the financial means to achieve that goal. So once again I find myself wondering...what's the point?

[inkovert]

You know what I really love? Those stories that just start off slow, silent and unassuming. Introducing you to two strangers who you know are going to mean something to each other as the story progresses, you know there’s going to be history built between them, but you don’t know them yet. Their existence, or lack thereof, is inconsequential. They aren’t real to you so they don’t hold meaning in your heart or space in your mind just yet. But then the storyteller does something wonderful, something unexpected. In just a few short chapters, a few short scenes or episodes, that may only be nothing but a handful of hours to you in the moment, a moment that is somehow simultaneously slow yet swift, you witness the history, the pain, the love, the hate, the joy being built and sculpted between the two over the span of years, and, completely unawares, these two people have become buried in your heart, you mirror their emotions, their joy, their sadness as if it’s your own, everything they’ve experienced in a handful of years and you only a handful of moments until you’re left wondering, guessing what that time, just a few hours ago, when these two people meant nothing to you even felt like.

[inkovert]

I’m forever torn between wanting to read and wanting to write and instead I just end up scrolling on social media for 3 hours and doing neither

[inkovert]

how do you get to know someone irl as an adult. what do you say after hello nice to meet you. they're going to ask me what I enjoy doing and I'm supposed to respond with the truth? I enjoy being at home alone in solitude laying in my bed swiping through the same two apps on my phone when I get overwhelmed by the idea of deciding what to actually do with my day. also I hate my job, have no career prospects and don't know what I want to do with my life even though I am of age. you must come up with an elaborate lie to make yourself sound interesting in order to make friends right like there's no other way? in this economy? in our year of 2024?

[inkovert]

been experiencing one of those writing slumps where I feel like everything I write is trash