#inkpot rambles

[wanderinginkpot]

Have successfully introduced my mother to Trigun via Badlands Rumble. Probably not the best first impression but somehow she enjoyed it and is very interested in how the Plants work. After Wolfwood's reaction to Vash's fakeout death she said, and I quote, "He's definitely still alive. After all, it would be far too sad if one of them lost the other. The writers wouldn't do that to them."

She now wants to watch '98 with me. I've told her nothing 😭

[wanderinginkpot]

Thinking about the doomed siblings trope cuz sometimes art imitates life and vice versa and so and so forth etc.

Siblings themsleves are an inherently complex dynamic, regardless of circumstance. They are family but not an intentional caregiver. A friend but not one you have the freedom to choose. Any duty of care that exists between them is completely incidental and yet, some element of it is almost always there. The active choice to spare some kind of responsibility for this person they have never had any choice in knowing.

And then something happens, whatever that thing might be, and they suddenly realise that despite the life they've shared they are still two very different people who are capable of responding to trauma in very different and conflicting ways.

Trauma changes a person. It informs the way they make decisions and approach situations for the rest of their life. And in the case of siblings, it can render two people who have previously been shaped and moulded together by similar and shared experiences, utterly incompatible.

And the thing that makes it most tragic, is that these switch ups in dynamic are often the result of outside influence that lay completely beyond their control. It can be the work of a single moment of incidental trauma to turn an, "I didn't choose you but your're my family anyway" into "I didn't choose you and that's all there is to it."

Fear turns to apathy can turn to hate and resentment. And the worst part is, they don't get to choose.

[wanderinginkpot]

Celebrating the release of the Stargaze trailer by introducing my mother to Trigun '98. For context, I made a little post last month about how I had introduced her to Trigun via Badlands Rumble and she was interested in finding out more. She has no additional knowledge about the story beyond the fact that I love it and what she's gleaned from BLR. So far, we've only watched the first few episodes.

This woman was born in the 60's and grew up around the UK rock music scene, so it was kinda cool that she immediately clocked onto the music influence in the opening, likening the soundtrack to Led Zepplin and The Clash.

She loves Vash! Described him as "deceptively cute but kind of sexy when he gets all serious." I may have died a little inside at that but hey, at least we know she has good taste. She especially liked the scene in ep.3 where he disrupts the robbery with a bin lid on his head lmao. She kept asking but I refused to tell her what his outfit is like underneath his coat so she made some guesses. She thinks he's wearing a sleeveless white shirt with some sort of waist coat or sleeveless jacket over it (I need an artist to draw him in this.) I don't think she's ready for what he actually dresses like!

She's not a huge fan or Milly and Meryl so far and although I very much disagree with her, to be fair, they haven't been super developed yet so I'm hoping her opinion will change going forward. She thinks Milly is very cute at least, and is pretty sure Meryl already has a bit of a crush on Vash.

Predictions for the plot so far is that this is somehow going to end with Vash being well known as a hero. She says, it seems like everybody either underestimates his skills because he acts silly or thinks he's a troublemaker, but over time society is going to come to recognise him as a good guy. I actually think this interpretation is super interesting because the whole 'lone gunman' hero origin story is very much embedded in the western genre and she doesn't yet have much context for how Trigun switches things up. So much significance in the beginning is placed on the varying ways people perceive Vash's character and I think she'll be surprised to find that Vash's goals don't necessarily align with changing people's opinions of him. I think it will be really interesting to see how her thoughts develop once the plot gains some momentum.

She also hopes that Wolfwood shows up soon just because she knows how much I adore him and "wants to see what all the fuss is about" lol.

[wanderinginkpot]

Had a dream about an old childhood friend, a girl I could have sworn I haven't thought about in years, and the first words I recall saying were, "I'm glad you're here, I've really missed you."

Anyway, nothing I love more than waking up consumed by the feeling of pure, inescapable loss.

[wanderinginkpot]

Just gotta throw this out there because I am so genuinely grateful. To everyone who has read Home Fires so far, you are incredible! There has been such a beautifully positive reception to the first chapter of this fic and I cannot express how thankful I am for everyone who has taken the time to respond to my dumb little story over the past couple of days. As young as this fandom is, my short time here has been utterly delightful and it's been such a joy to chat with so many creative and enthusiastic individuals.

Next chapter will be out by the end of the week! I'm sadly a little unwell so I'm writing a bit slow (honestly, probably my fault for writing the first chapter in 2 nights with no sleep, oops 💀) but I'm already about 3/4 of the way finished, minus the editing stage.

Also, the chapter count may or may not be going up 👀 What can I say? Feeling ✨️inspired✨️

[wanderinginkpot]

Listening to the Hadestown soundtrack for the millionth time and fighting for my life (and failing terribly) to not make it about Vash and Wolfwood!

All I've Ever Known (In Spite of Herself...) - "He could make you see how the world could be; In spite of the way that it is" - This segment really just sums up their whole dynamic to me (at least when they first met.) Wolfwood fell the moment Vash smiled at him (in spite of himself) and nobody can change my mind!

All I've Ever Known - "And for a moment I forget; Just how dark and cold it gets; All I've ever known is how to hold my own; But now I want to hold you, too" - There isn't a line in this musical sung by Eurydice that doesn't apply perfectly to Wolfwood and it drives me insane.

Hey, Little Songbird - "Hey, little songbird, you got something fine; And you'd shine like a diamond down in the mine; And the choice is yours if you're willing to choose; Seeing as you've got nothing to lose; And I could use a canary" - Damn, this song reminds me of Wolfwood and Chapel (lowkey the whole EOM) in the worst way!

When the Chips are Down - "Aim for the heart (Shoot to kill); If you don't do it , then the other one will" - Wolfwood, baby, I see you in this song and I don't like it.

Gone, I'm Gone - "Oh, my heart, it aches to stay; But the flesh will have its way; Oh, the way is dark and long; I'm already gone" - ...Couch Scene

Flowers - "I remember someone; Someone by my side; Turned his face to mine; And then I turned away; Into the shade" Thinking about Wolfwood in his final moments and crying, sue me!

If it's True - "If it's true what they say; Is this how the world is?; To be beaten and betrayed and then be told that nothing changes" - Vash, baby, I see you in this song and I don't like it.

Promises - "I can't promise you fair sky above; Can't promise you kind road below; But I'll walk beside you, love; Anyway the wind blows" - At this point I'm just writing an Orpheus and Eurydice AU because it's actually ridiculous how well it suits them.

Road to Hell (Reprise) - "'Cause here's the thing; To know how it ends; And still begin to sing it again; As if it might turn out this time" - Feel like this is the fandom every time we see them in a new adaptation. We know how it's going to end, but we can hope, right? We can hope it might turn out this time, and I think that's part of what makes it so beautiful. That tragic perseverance of hope that is so integral to their story, from start to finish.

[wanderinginkpot]

Writers block why do you curse me so??? I've been stuck editing the next chapter of my fic for the past month and it is actually SO painful to get through. The first draft I wrote isn't even that bad! It's just the editing that's driving me crazy!

[wanderinginkpot]

Haven't written anything in a couple of months because ✨️the melancholy✨️ got its nasty little grippers in me once again, and now I'm pretty sure I've forgotten how to write. Somebody! Please! Save me from this hell of my own making!