Closed Rp with InnocentCrotchCloth
Ludwig Beilschmidt, the personification of Germany itself, sat on the roof of the old house- the house he’d grown up in- staring blankly up at the sky. He hadn’t lived here in a long time. Nowadays, he lived in an apartment with his brother. After all- this place was just a relic right? A memory of a time when things were so much simpler. The blonde sighed, taking a deep drag of his cigarette, not even noticing the snow as it landed in his hair. He hadn’t even bothered to grab a coat when he ran from the apartment, feeling as though the walls were closing in on him, suffocating him.
He didn’t even know how things had gotten so complicated. He remembered those days- it had been him and Gilbert then, and they had been happy. They had been a family, isolated in this house, away from the rest of the world. The city hadn’t been there then, all there had been was trees, and the little pond out back. Gilbert had raised him then, and Ludwig had had no contact with the outside world, sans for the nanny that watched him when his brother went to conflicts. He had hated those days. They felt so lonely and bleak to the boy. But the days Gilbert was home? They were magical to the child, filled with wonder and laughter. He remembered how proud Gil was when he picked him flowers, when he caught a squirrel and brought it home.
And then had come training. Then had come long days, and little sleep. Then had come bosses; Gilbert introducing them to the child, just for Ludwig to be told how he was too small, too scrawny, how he needed to grow faster. And somehow he did- much faster than the other nation children, he had far more pressure on him to grow. And those days of wonder were gone.
Gilbert had told him he had to trust the bosses. That Ludwig couldn’t only think of himself anymore, that there were people who relied him on him now.. And the bosses had the best interest of those people at heart. Gilbert had said that people would take only what they needed from him, that nothing would change.
And then had come the war. It had been hard for him to understand at first- why did he have to fight people he had only met once or twice. But he had once more been told it was not his place to question. His isolation ended. All of a sudden, he was thrust into a world of people he had no idea how to interact with. But he managed. He made some… friends? Yes, friends, although the beginning was a very nerve wracking experience for the young nation. He made a name for himself. And he was- happy enough. Not like before. But he wasn’t miserable. He had his friends, he had his brother. A man Gilbert introduced to him as his cousin Roderich. And things were alright. But people took too much. More than they needed from him, and he grew vulnerable.
Then came that man. That man who spouted beautiful lies, and told how he’d protect the people, how he’d make them safe, and oh how foolish Ludwig was for listening. But his job was to trust his bosses, and trust he had. He had lost everything from that decision. His friends… his family. And then came the final blow. His brother… strong and proud… his brother fell… was taken from him… and he was too weak to stop it.
Forty years went by, and he was alone once more. Only this time, Gilbert wasn’t there protect him. There was no one when the flashbacks tore him from a sound sleep, when he screamed, when he cried, when his heart felt cold and empty.
Things were better now. Gilbert was home with him, he had come home a little over twenty years ago now. But this Gilbert was much different than his big strong brother. Smaller… more frail. He smiled still- but it was so hollow, and Ludwig could see it. And he knew who was to blame. Feliciano wouldn’t talk to him anymore. Neither would Kiku. At meetings, they’d barely glance at him, and when they did, it was with anger.
And brother…. well brother hated him the most of all. He didn’t say it- but then, he didn’t have to say it. Things were different now. Things were cold. Empty. And Ludwig was terrified. Hearing a noise, the blonde didn’t even bother to move, continuing to stare blankly into the sky as he smoked his cigarette, blue eyes flat and dull.
