(( @ofleadersx ))
some people divide their life into befores and afters, jyn’s life had been split so many times that she had lost count. she had become afraid of letting her guard down, never knowing when she would need to adapt to a new normal. it had worked great for many years, ever since saw had left her behind, never forming an attachment, never staying long in a place. not even her name had stayed the same. she had become multiple people, more than she can count with her fingers. and life had been -well not good, but manageable. and then she met them, rogue one. and for the first time in many years jyn had wished for more time. for the first time she had allowed herself to feel.
but of course nothing lasts forever. and she was dead. she could deal with being dead, she was used to not feeling, she had found many ways to become numb through the years. and then she woke up in the middle of some woods, not dead? she wasn’t entirely sure about that. her flight instinct was strong, she had to get out of batuu, but then again where would she go? she was waiting for whatever it was that had brought her back to be sorted out so she could be back at being dead. lives were divided in befores and afters, jyn had not cried since the day saw gerrera found her, but that had been before the rebellion came knocking on her door. and now, now she pressed her eyes angrily, she was not going to cry, nails digging into her palms, jyn let a sob pass through her before opening her eyes to see if anyone had witnessed her moment of weakness.
“cassian?” jyn said in disbelief, she shook her head taking a few steps towards him, “no, i- this can’t be true” jyn closed and opened her eyes a few times, “i am done, i cannot do this” she said to no one in particular, “are you real? am i real? how can any of this be real?” desperation growing in her voice, “is this some cruel joke?!” jyn yelled angrily looking up at the sky, who was she yelling at? she wasn’t sure. the universe maybe, the force most definitely.