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The night is dark and full of terrors.

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New idea for Teen Wolf spinoff, Banshee Squidia and Cute Gay Deputy solve mysteries together while also gossiping about hot guys.  Danny is their tech guy back in the lab.

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Teen Wolf S03E01

So first episode of season 3 and already I'm super excited to see what's going to happen.

First thing of note - why is Scott levitating in the opening credits?

So pretty much the main story arc for the first episode is Scott decides to get a tattoo as a reward for not seeing Alison.  Only thing is he's an idiot and unlike every single person watching didn't realise the tattoo would heal.  Sadness is my boyfriend.  Well ultimately Derek comes to the rescue and tattoos him with a blow torch?! Because apparently that's how it's done, also Derek is skilled enough with the blow torch to ensure the burnt flesh makes a nice neat tattoo.

During this however Derek tells Stiles that he needs to help hold Scott down - because we haven't already seen Scott overpower and almost kill Stiles like every second episode - so Stiles is going to be perfect for the job of keeping Scott in place while he has his flesh painfully burned.

Squidia is getting all kinds of action and you know what, good for you girl.  Cotton was all about the peen anyway, you need to get yourself someone just as awesome as you are.  Someone like...

My new favourite character - Tippy! So she's the new English teacher or something and already a candidate to be craziest bitch ever.  Girl knows how to make an entrance, texts the whole class some line from a book and walks into the class quoting it like she's Captain-My-Captain. Proceeds to tell them it's the last line of the first book they will be reading and the last text message they will get in her class. All kinds of megalomania going on right there - she's either going to become a wise mentor or the real antagonist of the season. Oh and then birds happens.

Not convinced that the Alpha Pack are really the big bad for the season. Wolf girl needs to but some shoes on, no one wants to see those nasty feet. Blind leader is pretty hot.  My hunch is that he can see the future in some capacity, not that it's not hinted at pretty heavily already.

Also I want Squidia to be a ghost or a mermaid. No Danny which is sad, and not nearly enough Derek. I know everyone ships Derek and Stiles but I'm all for Derek and Cotton, now he's gone though I think Danny should marry Derek and they can open a wig shop together.