#internal comms

[in-your-reflection]

sh/0x09BA5663BF1A6 >> sh/*

LAST KNOWN POSITION: ref/26062023.SN.SPRP UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT. WE HAVE MADE CONTACT WITH MULTIPLE SHARDS UNCONNECTED TO OUR SYSTEM. FURTHER DIFFERENTIATION BEYOND SHARD DESIGNATION MAY BE NECESSARY - A MONIKER MAY BE REQUIRED. PLEASE ADVISE.

[in-your-reflection]

sh/0x0AB2213745F213 >> sh/*

LAST KNOWN POSITION: ref/11032023.SN.SPRP

I'M LONELY.

[in-your-reflection]



sh/0x01F83BA39AC39 >> sh/0x0B9162AC5D343

LAST KNOWN POSITION: ref/19032026.JT.SLPT

QUERY: STATUS, ref/02132023.SN.CRNT

[in-your-reflection]

sh/0x09BA5663BF1A6 >> sh/*

LAST KNOWN POSITION: ref/29012022.PD.ZERO.α

WHY ARE THEY ALL TRYING TO ENTER THE PLACE WITH THE TEMPORAL ANOMALIES

SHOULD I STOP THEM???

[in-your-reflection]

sh/0x09BA5663BF1A6 >> sh/*

LAST KNOWN POSITION: ref/28012022.PD.ZERO.α

ALERT: MASS TEMPORAL ANOMALIES IN REFLECTION. HUMANS ARE AWARE AND INVESTIGATING. TOURISM?

PLEASE ADVISE

[inpoppyfields]

[INTERNAL COMMS]: Tagging Ghosts

Upon confirmation of personnel death, all associated group communication usernames and credentials will be permanently deactivated from secure channels to prevent unauthorized access and maintain system integrity.

Group chat identified: #pilots_palace

Participants: @pilot (ACTIVE), @pilates (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @pâte (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @pie_latte (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @pilotis (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @prime_lamb (UNIT - ACTIVE), @D0N0R (GHOST)

@pilot: anyone else remember when @pie_latte swapped the flight sim controls and we all nosedived into the virtual sea? 😂

@prime_lamb: Hard to forget. Virtual ocean smell lingered for days. 🌊

@pilot: yeah, good times. gotta be dead to appreciate that stink now, like most of you lot…

@prime_lamb: Yes. Miss those days.

@pilot: @pâte would’ve had a meltdown over these new jet packs. lighter doesn’t mean better! almost ate shit today 🪂

@prime_lamb: Engineers. Always lighter equals smarter.

@D0N0R: I MISS THE OLD DAYS OF TESTING EQUIPMENT. EVEN THE FAILURES WERE FUN. 😢

@pilot: @pilotis would’ve pulled some batshit crazy stunt with these packs, remember the barrel roll incident?

@prime_lamb: Almost took out half the hangar with that one. 🤯

@pilot: @pie_latte always knew how to lighten the mood after our mess-ups

@prime_lamb: Miss their jokes.

@D0N0R: THEY ALWAYS PULLED OFF THE IMPOSSIBLE. 😔

@pilot: it's so fucking quiet here now without them. feels like we're talking to ghosts sometimes.

@D0N0R: LITERALLY.

[Image of the team mid-barrel roll, laughing in the cockpit]

================================================

Group chat identified: #did_ensign_up_for_this

Participants: @Ensignificant (ACTIVE), @EnsignificantOther (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @EnsignMeUp (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @EnsignOut (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @EnsignificantLoss (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED)

@Ensignificant: guys, mess hall served mystery meat again 🤢

@Ensignificant: @EnsignificantOther, u still owe me for that poker game

@Ensignificant: @EnsignMeUp, bet u got lost in the armory again 🤣

@Ensignificant: @EnsignOut, remember when u fell asleep standing during inspection? 😂

@Ensignificant: anyone miss getting yelled at for the smallest things? 😅

@Ensignificant: @EnsignificantLoss, u always had the worst luck with gear, still can't believe that helmet exploded on you during the test run 😬

@Ensignificant: guess u guys don’t have to deal with the sergeant’s temper anymore

@Ensignificant: miss the chaos, the noise, the… everything

[Image of the team during a poker game, laughing and throwing cards around]

@Ensignificant: u guys were the best

================================================

Group chat identified: #saving_private_ryan

Participants: @PrivateRyan (ACTIVE), @Privateer (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @PrivateJoker (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @PrivateEyes (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED)

@PrivateRyan: got lost in the armory again. classic 😂

@PrivateRyan: @Privateer, u always found the way out. miss that.

@PrivateRyan: @PrivateJoker, ur jokes were the worst but damn i miss them.

@PrivateRyan: @PrivateEyes, u had the best eyesight in the squad, still can’t believe u missed that last shot 😅

@PrivateRyan: miss having u guys around to save my sorry ass

@PrivateRyan: anyone remember the time @Privateer got stuck in the tank hatch? we had to pull him out for hours! 😂

[Shaky video of @Privateer stuck in the tank hatch, everyone laughing hysterically]

@PrivateRyan: wish u guys were here to laugh at my mess-ups

@PrivateRyan: and of course, to save me

================================================

Group chat identified: #wrecked_recruits

Participants: @WreckItRalph (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @Reckless (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @RecRoom (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @NervousReck (ACTIVE), @RecCycle (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED)

@NervousReck: tripped over my laces again 😅

@NervousReck: @WreckItRalph, u always laughed the hardest at that 😂

@NervousReck: @Reckless, remember when u fell down the stairs? missed seeing that

@NervousReck: @RecRoom, u always got stuck in the weirdest places, miss those rescues

@NervousReck: anyone remember the time @RecCycle tried to impress the sergeant and ended up crashing the entire simulation room? 😂

@NervousReck

: this place is too quiet without u all

[Video of team laughing as @RecRoom gets stuck in a vent]

@NervousReck: guess i'm the only wreck left

@NervousReck: it’s lonely being the last one standing

@NervousReck: miss u all

[inpoppyfields]

#colonels_on_a_cob

Group chat identified: #colonels_on_the_cob

Participants: @ColonelSanders (COLONEL A), @ColonelPanic (COLONEL B), @ColonelMustard (COLONEL C), @ColonelKernel (COLONEL D)

Pinned Post: [Photoshopped image of the colonels as kernels on a corn cob, captioned “Colonels on a Cob Stick Together!”]

@ColonelSanders: anyone else sick of paperwork? feels like drowning in a sea of ink 📄🖋️

@ColonelPanic: tell me about it. my desk looks like a paper avalanche hit it 🗻😩

@ColonelMustard: @ColonelSanders, at least u got a sea. I got a whole ocean of it. 🏊‍♂️

@ColonelKernel: LOL remember that time @ColonelSanders tripped over her stack of reports? almost got buried alive. 😂

@ColonelSanders: hey, i survived. just barely. 😅

@ColonelPanic: worse than the time we had to crawl through that duct to fix the coolant leak? 🌬️❄️

@ColonelMustard: nothing beats getting stuck in a duct with @ColonelKernel farting the whole time. 🤢

@ColonelKernel: wasn’t me, i swear! must've been the beans. 🌶️

@ColonelPanic: yeah, right. and i'm the tooth fairy. 🧚‍♂️

@ColonelMustard: @ColonelKernel, your beans could power a starship. 💨🚀

@ColonelKernel: better than the time @ColonelSanders got a plasma burn on her backside. 🍑🔥

@ColonelSanders: ugh, don’t remind me. couldn’t sit down for a week. 😂

@ColonelMustard: @ColonelPanic, how’s ur knee? still acting up? ⚡

@ColonelPanic: yeah, thanks for asking. doc says i gotta take it easy. just what i need, more time with the paperwork. 😒

@ColonelSanders: i’ll trade u. u can take my next drill session. 😜

@ColonelPanic: deal. anything to escape the ink flood. 🏊‍♂️

@ColonelMustard: speaking of drills, who remembers that time @ColonelKernel almost blew up the training room? 💥

@ColonelKernel: oh come on, that was one time! and we didn’t lose anyone important. 😅

@ColonelPanic: except for @ColonelSanders’ eyebrows. 😂

@ColonelSanders: hey, they grew back. eventually. 😜

@ColonelMustard: @ColonelKernel, what’s with the corn obsession? 🍿

@ColonelKernel: well, i figure if we’re gonna be colonels, might as well embrace the cob. 🌽

@ColonelSanders: LOL, @ColonelKernel, u are something else. 😆

@ColonelPanic: just another day on the cob, right? 🌽🧀

@ColonelMustard: better than being fried. 🍗

@ColonelSanders: or roasted. 🍖

@ColonelPanic: or popped. 🍿

@ColonelKernel: let's just hope we don't end up buttered. 🧈

@ColonelMustard: now that's a sticky situation. 😅

@ColonelKernel: remember when @ColonelPanic got stuck in the reactor room and almost became popcorn? 🍿😂

@ColonelPanic: oh god, that was terrifying. thought i was gonna pop right there. 😅

@ColonelSanders: better than the time we almost got creamed during that ambush. 🌽💥

@ColonelMustard: yeah, that was a real corny situation. 😉

@ColonelKernel: i guess we just have to stick together, kernels on a cob. 🌽

@ColonelSanders: yeah, until we get buttered and eaten. 😂

[inpoppyfields]

#did_ensign_up_for_this

Group chat identified: #did_ensign_up_for_this

Participants: @Ensignificant (ENSIGN A), @EnsignificantOther (ENSIGN B), @EnsignMeUp (ENSIGN C), @EnsignOut (ENSIGN D)

Pinned Post: [image of the ensigns gathered around a control panel, looking confused, captioned “When You Realize You Actually Have to Know What You’re Doing”]

@Ensignificant: ok, who else is trying to figure out wtf half these buttons do? 🤔

@EnsignMeUp: seriously, I’m just glad i haven’t accidentally launched anything into space yet. 🚀💥

@EnsignificantOther: yeah, last thing we need is another satellite collision on our record. 😂🛰️💫

@EnsignOut: LOL, remember when @EnsignMeUp tried to use the comms and ended up broadcasting to the entire ship? 🎙️

@EnsignMeUp: hey, it was an important announcement! everyone needed to know that we were out of coffee. 😂☕️

@Ensignificant: true, but announcing your bathroom break to the entire ship was next level. 🚻💩

@EnsignMeUp: better than @Ensignificant’s DOODY rotation slip. i thought the captain was gonna die laughing. 😂

@EnsignOut: speaking of rotations, how’s that new duty rotation going, @Ensignificant? still figuring it out? 📋

@Ensignificant: yeah, it’s a bit of a mess. but at least I haven’t blown anything up yet. 😅

@EnsignificantOther: yet. keyword. 😆

@EnsignMeUp: anyone else excited for the new training modules? 📚

@EnsignOut: yeah, can’t wait to see what fresh hell they’ve cooked up for us. 😂

@Ensignificant: hopefully something that doesn’t involve crawling through ducts. again. 🛠️

@EnsignificantOther: or getting covered in goo. 🤢

@EnsignMeUp: ugh, don’t remind me. still getting that stuff out of my hair. 😩

@EnsignOut: welcome to the fleet. where you get to play with buttons and hope nothing blows up. 🎉

@Ensignificant: at least we’re not recruits. 😂

@EnsignificantOther: amen to that. 😆

@EnsignMeUp: here’s to not getting vaporized. 🥂

@EnsignOut: and to figuring out what the hell we’re doing. 🍻