#internalized amisia

[aro-aceplace]

I’ve been identifying as aroace for a long time but I’ve always wished I was alloromantic and I feel like I was robbed the chance to feel romantic attraction and if I could drop the label I would but I feel like it’s a part of me that’s stuck on, like permanent marker across my face that says I’m aro. Do you have any tips on how to get over internalized a phobia?

Learning to accept your identity and who you are is something that will just take time.

Mourn the things you feel like you’re going to miss out on. It’s ok to feel robbed of something that society says is like the ultimate goal for happiness. It’s not though. You’re happiness isn’t conditional on being allo.

Connecting with other aroace people can help, especially if you can freely talk about how you feel in relation to being aroace. You’re not alone in this.

- Mod Os

(Also, please use amisia or aspec-antagonism rather than aphobia as using phobia for bigotry and hate is ableism.)

[aroace-people-are-lgtbq]

In addition to that, there’s also just the very mixed feeling of sadness and resignation that no one will ever romantically love me, or even if they did, I mostly likely won’t reciprocate, so it feels selfish to want someone else to give without receiving. 

And I know, love comes in many forms and they’re all equally valuable, it’s just hard when there’s an entire type of song dedicated to how one type of love is more valuable/special above all others, especially when those are the songs I tend to like the most. 

[aroace-people-are-lgtbq]

Being an arospec person who likes love songs and songs about love is really weird because sometimes I’ll be listening and all of sudden my  brain will just go, “Man, what if you really are just repressing all your romantic feelings because you’re afraid of being vulnerable with people?”

And like I can’t disprove that statement with facts or logic because I don’t really understand romantic attraction anyway. I’m arospec based on the gut reaction of, “I don’t feel that way and I don’t want to,” and that could be repression for all I know, but like I just know it’s not, but that’s not enough to convince/placate my logical side and I hate feeling this way