#aromantic problems

[moonprismpower456]

Actually making a serious post about aro/ace segregation because I’m tired. Recently in the aspec community I’ve seen a lot of people pushing the idea that sex/romance repulsed people are the only experiences aspecs can have and that favorables are somehow infecting or taking over our community. Being frustrated with hearing about those topics frankly isn’t favorables problems and saying they can just go to allos for a community is the same shit ace exclusionists have said about all of us for years. Thinking that asexual=not having sex and aromantic=not having relationships is a stereotype people in the community have been fighting for years. Splitting up a community isn’t the solution to our problems, getting rid of favorables won’t make the aphobia you experience go away. Asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums, go do like any research if you think otherwise.

[justanotherpanickinggay]

Being aro is so lonely. Not because you're not in a relationship but because everyone else is and it's the only thing they care about.

[repulsed-confessions]

I'm really concerned by the rise of aphobia and infighting that's rising in the aspec community recently. I think a lot of it has to do with people wanting to ship characters, but they're low-key throwing us repulsed aros and aces under the bus by doing so.

I keep seeing black/green-stripe, non-partnering, and romance/sex-repulsed aspecs get called things like "robotic" and "heartless" and "bad stereotypes" and instead of people calling that stuff out, I just see everyone being like "yeah it's a spectrum!" and totally ignore that they are constantly insulting and dehumanizing an entire part of that spectrum because it's not as interesting to them.

Like, I get it, it's fandom, have fun, do whatever, I guess. But maybe stop calling actual people's experiences such cruel things? Like, fuck you if you say that shit! I'm a real person! Stop calling my actual lived experiences such disgusting things, oh my god!

I am a human being worthy of dignity and respect even though I experience no romantic or sexual attraction and am disgusted by the idea of romance and sex and will never have a romantic or sexual partner. The idea that reflecting myself and my real experiences in a character makes them robotic or heartless or a monster or a stereotype is genuinely aphobic, and I don't care if you're aspec yourself if you're insulting me like that! Aces can be arophobic, aces can even be acephobic, and vice versa.

Internalized aphobia can be a real thing, and aspecs are not immune to societal pressures of amatonormativity, and the constant refusal by everyone to even stop for a second and consider this stuff is so fucked up.

I want to support my romance-favorable and sex-favorable and greyro and greyace peers, but it feels like all I ever see from them recently is insults towards us repulsed people, and it genuinely breaks my heart. We're supposed to be a community! Please, I don't want this infighting! I want to be able to stand hand in hand as we raise awareness about the a-spectrums and fight against the amatonormative ideas that hurt us all!

-sincerely, a very tired repulsed aroace

.

[theaceofarrows]

[radioactive-yuri]

there's something so profoundly isolating about being aromantic, but not asexual. because every aromantic experience is boldly labeled an "aroace experience", or even just an "asexual experience", even when it has nothing to do with asexuality. there's no room for non-asexual aromanticism to exist. so you learn to avoid all of it.

the aromantic tag is filled with posts about asexuality, so you learn to not explore it. other aspecs assume you're asexual or imply that you "should" be, so you learn to avoid aspec spaces. other queer people accuse you of emotional abuse on the basis of your identity, so you learn to avoid queer spaces.

it doesn't feel like there's any space out there for us, any support that isn't pulled out from under us the second we say "hey, um, actually, i'm just aromantic, not aroace."

[bloggingboutburgers]

Every damn time

[thearoacefromspace]

my favorite thing that allos do is when they ship a canonically aroace character and we go to correct them and are like “hey they’re actually aroace” and they go “aroace people can still date”

THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME WHAT MY OWN SEXUALITY MEANS I HAD NOOOO IDEA

[fangirl-trash2481]

THIS!!!