What are some times when you feel most different/isolated from other Christian women, being an INTJ? How do you handle it? -from @silentaffirmation
Wow… I haven’t felt that way for a long time. So, I had to really think about it all day LOL… Um… Let’s see… hm… Oh, I remember. When I first gave my life to God, He sent me to a Bible institute, and this RA invited me to her home for Easter break. She also took me to her sister-in-law-to-be’s bridal shower. I remember that I felt so isolated and awkward because what common ground do I have as a city girl with Asian backgrounds ( also newly saved and INTJ) with the Pennsylvania Dutch homeschooled Christian family? But, I do remember the grace of God reaching out to me through this one random lady that night. She said, “I see what you are doing here. You don’t know what to do with yourself at a party so you look for things to do. I am right with ya.” So, we just laughed at ourselves and I felt much better about being there that night.
But, on a day to day basis, I feel isolated or rejected when I am talking to women ( and men) blindly sucked into teachings or media telling them certain agenda. I used to think that I am doing them a favor by speaking the truth in love and pointing them to the Scripture. little did I know that, many people, especially emotional women, are NOT interested in the truth or solution, but more interested in … validation, being listened to, or understood? Some of them actually told me that they are NOT interested in solution or someone challenging them. ( when I am not even trying to challenge them). So, I just decided to let them be.
Solution
In the meantime, I learned something about God and why He made me the way I am. When I realized that God has blessed me with so many things ( such as… intuition, a natural leadership, a strong work ethics, independence, rational mind, etc. ), I came to realize that He has a clear purpose for me to be the way I am and He can ( and wants to) use me to bless others. So, I asked Him how I can glorify Him with the way God made me basically. Also, in pursuit of Him, He won’t let me just get lost in His presence and Word if i refuse to serve others. (I like to spend a lot of time with God because He often gives me a lot of validation/encouragement/ affirmation/confirmation through the Bible, by the way).
Also, for the past few years, God has been teaching me that
1) Life is not about getting ahead of everyone or perfecting myself but focusing on Him and loving HIm.
2) Fellowship in humility is about serving others instead of thinking about “what is in for me.
When I started applying His teaching to my relationship with others ( I tried to reach out to people that God wants me to reach out and have a fellowship with those that He wants me to have fellowship with), I got to witness His amazing work:
For instance, there was one time, this one lady, an ESFJ ( Yes, an ESFJ), emailed a bunch of ladies, including me, in her group about whether she should take her grand children in while their mom is at a rehab. It was pretty clear to me that she was looking for encouragement/validation from others. So, God immediately gave me the words to say to her as below:
“You have been a FAITHFUL servant and an AMAZING mother. Now, God is giving you “a chance to build “a LEGACY into your grandchildren.
Of course, I know this is not something I would say to her in my own flesh. But, when i surrender myself to God, He used my rational mind and strong personality to build her up to be His faithful servant rather than tearing her down over this email, God also was healing my own heart from feelings of rejection and isolation to acceptance as a servant and a fellow member of the Body of Christ because of this incident. By the way, this lady,an ESFJ, used to hate me because I kept challenging her tradition and legalism ( though I might not have done it intentionally in times) love me since that email above.
So, I guess the solution above really came from:
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, all these things will be added onto you.
Other times, when I feel so isolated and alone, I just journaled out how I felt inside before God and ask Him to show me how much He loves me.
Sometimes, I ask HIM that I need friends to hang out with or something like that.
I also found out that when following God, the characters in the Bible become my best friends. Like this year, Abraham has been my best friend ( as God’s been teaching me about growing in Faith- I dig through sermons on him and it has always lifted me up).
Reading the Gospel and Jesus’s teaching also made me feel better about being rejected and isolated ( as there are so many incidents that Jesus was rejected by Pharisees).
I hope I understood your question right and was helpful :)
When do you feel isolated?