#invitainvidia

[invitainvidia]

.innuendo

[intraspecificviolence]

When I started training chinese martial arts it was the first time I became obsessed with training my body. I was 22 years old, a kid of divorced teachers and just beginning to recover from a severe psychotic breakdown. I fought with my demons, my conditioning and was way too paranoid to visit a therapist but becoming a martial artist and meditating daily gave me the opportunity to heal, to accept my body as a vessel which my spirit inhabits.

Training to end a fight, learning techniques that might disable your opponent for ever, dancing with violent intent in front of an opponent is a meditation where the focal point moves outside your body but is within your body at the same time.

You learn to control your energy like an instrument: muscle engaged but mind detached.

But at the start, you don*t.

As an adolescent the only physical activities I did not condemn as dumb were dancing and fucking and wanking.

Consequently I revived all the three, fuelled with the energies I mobilized with my martial arts training.

Going to a club directly after a 4 hour training unit usually resulted that I became a target.

German culture is a cock-block-culture consisting of envy, blame and our famous Schadenfreude.

Guys saw me attracting girls because I was so full of joy that I had found my personal stairway to heaven.

Generally german guys already feel alienated on a dance floor like most heteronormative guys in the "cristian" world do today.

So guys start to do what they do: forming a circle with their bodies around my body or taking my room to dance like an insult.

I did not know then how to stop these phenomena. I fuelled it by dancing even more fanatically which only made things worse, pulling their aggressions and starting to like that game I did not fully understand .

[invitainvidia]

Could any hell be more horrible

Than now and real?

[invitainvidia]

[invitainvidia]

[invitainvidia]

[invitainvidia]

It does not matter how murderers attempt to justify their crimes.

"Soldaten sind Mörder"

[soldiers are murderers]

Any "Nation" and any "State" within the realm where ficticious capital dictates our spcies way down for me is just a scam were the most useless, cryto-fascist leeches mankind has ever produced are paid actors who will sacrifice You and Me to hold up idols that were actually pulverized in the 2nd "great war" to cover up the absolute corruption where all and everybody has become a commodity.

All is about sacrificing your happiness, your clean water, your dreams, your dignity and finally your blood. [for profit]

Current state is : one earth, one species of which a small caste dictates our doomed fate.

[invitainvidia]