i just got the most beautiful photo ever before seen of my cat. everybody look at iris right now
edit: so this got a lot of attention so i'm just gonna ask if possible could you guys donate to my kofi to fund me getting DIY HRT, the uk has made it illegal for me to access it otherwise. :/
legally distinct former child spies + overworked middle manager for whom wrangling two early-20-something burnouts is not at all part of the job description.
For the short kiss prompts: kisses in the rain or kissing it better if you'd like?
Hi, did you want some angst? Because I have some angst for you.
I've only finished one of these so far, but I'll include the second with your other requests, probably. Wanted to get this one out now, at least. And it's longer than I intended (nearly 900 words by itself).
(Shoutout to Ria for helping me when I got a little stuck with this one. And uh. Probably needs a tissue warning.)
(for the kisses prompts!)
‧₊˚☔︎︎ ☂︎₊˚⊹
♡ 25. kisses in the rain
The last thing Shuuichi wants is to leave. It feels like giving up, to walk away when he still loves Rei so much, but Rei isn't happy – hasn't seemed happy for the entire time they've been together. So, as much as Shuuichi doesn't want to leave him, he feels like he has no choice; more than anything, he wants Rei to find happiness, even if it means it's not with him.
While Rei was at work, he packed up his minimal belongings and set the bags by the couch, and then he waited. He refused to leave while Rei wasn't home – that wouldn't help anything, and would likely just send him on a manhunt across Tokyo – but he wanted to be ready.
Thunder cracks outside just as Rei's key turns in the lock, an ill omen befitting their upcoming conversation.
Rei notices the bags as soon as the door is closed; Shuuichi can tell from the way his eyes flick to them, and then drag up to meet Shuuichi's. "What's this?"
"Rei-kun, I…" Shuuichi pauses there, the words stuck in his throat as if they don't want to be spoken aloud. Any carefully planned speech he had disappears into a cloud of fog in his brain. He gropes for words, trying to remember everything he wants to say. Finally, he settles on, "I'm going."
Rei's eyebrows draw together in confusion. "Going… where?"
"To a hotel for a little while. Then I'll get my own place."
He sees the moment recognition dawns in Rei's eyes, and Shuuichi's heart cracks. Rei's voice comes out broken, disoriented, as if he's feeling light-headed. "You're… leaving me?"
"I just want you to be happy," Shuuichi insists, as he picks up his bags and heads for the door. "And you're not, with me."
"What? Akai, wait–"
He leaves before he changes his mind.
The rain is coming down in buckets by the time he makes it outside, drowning out most of the other ambient outside noise in the downpour; he can barely even hear his own footsteps on the staircase leading down to the parking lot. Luckily, he's parked close by, so he reaches his car and pulls open the driver's side door, throwing his bags in the backseat, his heart squeezing harder with every step he takes.
Before he can climb in, someone grabs his arm, pulling him away from the car.
"I hate you, Akai Shuuichi!" Rei screams at him over the rain, throwing himself at Shuuichi's chest and pounding a fist against his shoulder. "I hate you so fucking much!"
He doesn't mean it, probably. Or maybe he does – maybe Shuuichi hurt him that much that hatred is, once again, all he feels toward him.
"Rei-kun…" he says, though he's not sure his voice is audible over the rain.
"You always think you know everything!" Rei continues, furious, and gasping for air. "You make stupid choices without even talking to me, and you expect me to just go along with it because it's what you want! You don't even ask me! I hate you." His voice breaks at the end, and he shudders, from either his overwhelming emotions or the cold seeping in through his wet clothes.
Shuuichi doesn't really know what to say or do in the moment, so he stands there, dumbly, and just holds Rei, hoping to at least help fight off the chill.
"I'm not happy," Rei admits after a long silence. He's not yelling anymore, but Shuuichi would almost rather that than the way he sounds now, pained and heartbroken. "I'm just… not a happy person. I don't think I know how to be, not after everything. When Hiro died, I lost everything, and he wasn't even the first. He wasn't even the last. Up until you, everyone who has ever cared about me has left me or died. Or both. And now you want to leave, too, because you think that'll make me happy?!"
"If someone else would be better for you…" Shuuichi starts, but Rei cuts him off.
"Nobody else could ever even come close!" he snaps. "Nobody knows me like you do. Nobody else knows what I've been through, but you do. You understand, because you were there. Maybe I'm not happy, but things are better when you're here! You make things better!"
When he pulls back to look at Shuuichi, his eyes are red and puffy. Shuuichi has never seen him cry before – and he hates himself for being the one to make that happen. Rei continues before he can say anything. "I didn't think my heart would ever work again, but you make me feel alive, for the first time since Hiro died. Shuuichi, please… don't do this," he begs. "I love you."
Shuuichi's resolve crumbles in an instant. He knows Rei cares for him, knows that, at some point, the hate and anger turned to fondness and affection. Love, though? He never dreamed that would be an option.
Before he can think twice about it, consider the consequences of his actions, he pulls Rei back in and kisses him. "I love you," he breathes in between kisses. "I love you so much, Rei-kun."
"Promise you'll stay," Rei demands softly.
Shuuichi would promise Rei the world, so he does. Rei scoffs at him, then drags him back upstairs. He'll get his bags out of his car in the morning.
For the flower prompts, Edelweiss, Lemon Balm, or Lotus flower?
If any of them strike your fancy 💐
Dear Iris, thank you so much for your prompts. <3 I appreciate them very much! I chose one for now, but might come back to another one at a later date.
Edelweiss - A very, very public love declaration
This turned into a sequel for this ficlet (the gardenia prompt). I originally wanted to keep it short, but then suddenly realized that the whole storyline fits a secret AU I've been playing around with in my head (not the One Night Stand AU for the record) and then there was plot and Rei being Rei and so it got longer and longer and longer.
I hope you enjoy it. <3
(find the prompt list here)
“Say Azusa-san, how would you want someone you like to confess their feelings for you?”
Rei is entirely focused on the screen of his phone which is why it takes him some seconds before he notices the sudden silence following his question. He looks up in bewilderment and sees almost every set of eyes staring at him.
He‘s sitting at the counter of cafe Poirot. It‘s the quiet time before rush hour. There are only a couple of other guests around right now, most of them regulars, as well as Ran and Sonoko, each drinking a milkshake by the window and discussing the latest gossip in their school. He‘s glad that they don‘t pay him any mind. He‘s too busy with his own thoughts for their teenager drama.
Originally, he thought that he would never come back here after the fall of the Organization. This is a place for Amuro Tooru after all, a person that never existed in the first place. But he is still banned from work due to the injury of his right hand.
Gin broke four of his fingers and smashed his wrist with his boot before Akai shot him. It‘s far from the worst he‘s ever been through, but he‘s still waking up screaming from nightmares every other night and has to take painkillers to get through the day.
“You deserve a holiday after everything you‘ve done for our country,” Kuroda told him when he visited the PSP office two weeks after his discharge from the hospital. “Recover and recharge your batteries. We‘ll see you in a few months.”
If only it didn‘t feel like a suspension rather than a holiday.
It doesn‘t help that he is currently unable to cook and do his training, his two main activities to unwind. He has tried reading and watching TV instead but gets bored too quickly. At least he still has his walks with Haro. They don‘t jog like before, but his dog seems happy enough to adapt to his new speed, always trotting along beside him with his waggling tail, seemingly content to simply spend time with him.
It was one of those walks that they ended up in front of his former workplace.
Everyone was happy to see him, especially Azusa who hugged him tightly while she told him off for disappearing without a goodbye. She knows who he is now, the whole of Japan does. The fall of the Organization has been all over the news and the PSP had needed a face to present them to the public, a shining hero with a tragic story to take the attention off everything they weren‘t supposed to know.
Nobody had asked Rei if he wanted to be that distraction. But that‘s what serving his country also entails even if it means that he will never be able to work undercover again.
He tries not to think about it.
With nothing to do all day, Rei finds himself back in the cafe several times a week. It‘s still strange to visit it as a customer instead of standing behind the counter. But he taught Azusa how to prepare most of the beverages and meals like he does which is why this is the only place where he can get some decent coffee. He also finds himself enjoying the chats with Azusa and their regular customers who are always happy to meet him here. It makes for a welcome change from the rest of his current life.
Which brings him to today‘s visit.
“How would I like someone to confess to me?” Azusa repeats his question with an obvious flush. “I don‘t know. Why do you ask?” Suddenly her expression brightens. “Is this about your boyfriend?”
Rei frowns. Boyfriend is probably the most appropriate term for this thing between him and Akai, although they haven‘t really talked about labels.
The sniper has been by his side ever since that embarrassing not-confession in front of their allies mere hours before the last operation against the Organization and seems set on staying.
He usually gives him his space on his walks, but one week ago he tracked him down after Rei forgot the time during a discussion of a case with Shinichi. That‘s when the rumors of Rei‘s handsome boyfriend started. He would have contradicted them more if Akai didn‘t look so happy about it.
“Maybe,” he admits. “He has done a lot for me lately. I would like to surprise him as a thanks.”
“That‘s so sweet of you,” Azusa exclaims. “I‘m sure he will be happy about everything you do for him. He seems to love you very much after all.”
He really does. It‘s the only reason why he would take that this ridiculous notion to court him as seriously as he does.
So far that has entailed taking care of him since his injury, surprisingly decent self-made meals, small gifts ranging from a package of his favorite tea to a new sweater and a saint-like patience for each of Rei‘s moods. He‘s also taken him to several dates just like he promised and holds him in his arms every night, offering comfort where Rei would have never been able to ask for it.
He has been nothing but perfect.
Rei hates it. How can Shuuichi Akai of all people be more romantic than him? It‘s infuriating and it has to change. Now.
“I know he will appreciate everything but that doesn‘t mean that I shouldn‘t put any effort into this. He only deserves the best.” And he will get it. Rei will make sure of it. Thus his current predicament.
His experiences with romance and relationships are limited. He knows how to seduce if he has to, but that‘s about manipulation and desire. Part of the job. Love and intimacy on the other hand are foreign to him. They always seemed like something reserved for other people with families and normal lives, not him.
So he needs to collect data from those more versed in these things. Azusa might not be dating anyone as far as he knows, but she has a kind, dreamy personality. She‘s the only one he can ask for advice about these things.
“You are right, of course,” she agrees with him and seems to contemplate it for a moment. “Let‘s think about it, is there something the two of you usually do together? Or something he likes that you could surprise him with?”
“I would cook for him if I could,” he says and raises his bandaged hand.
Azusa grimaces sympathetically. “Yeah, that‘s out of the question, just as everything too exciting I suppose. Maybe go to your favorite restaurant?”
“Isn‘t that too cliche?”
That‘s when Haro who has been resting by his feet suddenly stirs and barks at the person that comes up to him from behind.
“Easy, boy,” Sonoko‘s voice announces her presence before she looks at Rei. “It‘s no more cliche than looking up the top ten most romantic spots in Tokyo,” she scolds him and nods to his phone that still shows such a side. How did she-?
“If you ask me there is nothing more romantic than a public declaration of love,” she tells him and there is suddenly a dreamy expression on her face. “Just imagine it, a confession for the whole world to see. How can you ever doubt his feelings after that?”
“Sonoko!” Ran calls, clearly embarrassed. “That‘s not for everyone! Some people prefer to keep their relationship private.”
“Not everyone is as boring as you and Shinichi,” Sonoko argues. “There is nothing more romantic than a public confession. Don‘t you agree, Azusa-san?”
“Uhm, it can be romantic, but I don‘t think…”
“See,” Sonoko calls triumphantly and grins at Rei. “There is no better way to prove your love to him. Take it from the expert.”
Rei wouldn‘t call her an expert in romance, but her words stay with him during the next few days. Akai told him he would choose a secluded, private space for a confession. A terribly romantic notion, but clearly one meant to meet Rei‘s own preferences. So what about Akai‘s preferences? He didn‘t seem faced with the crowd the first time around, so maybe he considers that appropriate, maybe even desirable?
He tries to imagine it, a public confession. Dozens of strangers around them, witnessing how he embarrasses himself. The thought alone makes him nauseous. So a more familiar setting, maybe admits their colleagues or Akai‘s family. He discards it almost immediately. He can barely endure the fantasy of saying it to Akai‘s face when they are alone, it would be even worse if he had to deal with Masumi and Mary at the same time.
This inability to tell him his feelings, it‘s obviously his fault. Maybe he doesn‘t even love him. Maybe he‘s so broken that he‘s incapable of giving and receiving affection, maybe he should just end it before he ends up breaking Akai as well.
He deserves a better partner than him, someone who doesn‘t argue about everything, who doesn‘t need minutes to relax every time he wraps his arms around him at night, who can give him the same love he shows in every single interaction between them.
Rei is better off alone anyway.
“Everything alright?” Akai asks one morning during breakfast. They‘re eating the same plain miso soup Akai has been cooking for weeks now and even Rei starts wishing for something else. “Something wrong with the soup?”
“It‘s good,” he says because he doesn‘t want to complain again. He knows that Akai is doing far too much for him already, the least he can do is try to be grateful. If only his hand healed faster and he could take charge over their kitchen. It would improve both of their lives immensely.
And here he is, criticizing Akai in his head again. He will never understand how this man can put up with him.
“You‘ve been on edge for days now,” Akai tries a different strategy to get him to talk to him. “Are you worried about the press conference today?”
And here‘s the other thing he doesn‘t want to think about.
The press conference is going to take place in two hours. It‘s a public affair where Rei is supposed to paint a heroic picture about the fall of the Organization and Japan‘s role in it. It is a beautiful picture, full of adventure, suspense and the perfect cooperation with international allies.
It leaves out everything they endured. Their losses, the pain, the constant mistrust. He is not supposed to talk about the bad things today, unless they help to tell the tale Japan wants the public to know. He is not supposed to mention Hiro.
He hates it. But this is simply another role he is supposed to play for his country. The only difference is that it carries his real name this time.
“I‘m not worried,” he answers because it‘s true. He will play his part perfectly and everyone will love it. “It‘s my job. I can handle it.”
Akai nods. “I‘ll drive you there.”
“You don‘t have to.”
“I‘ll drive you there,” he repeats. “And I‘ll stay until it‘s over. I want to take you out for lunch afterwards.”
Rei hesitates. He could argue. Try to convince him to keep his distance, to not witness what he has to become today. But Akai has seen every part of him and never looked away. Today won‘t be any different.
Rei takes Akai‘s hand with his healthy one and presses it softly. “Thank you.”
Akai answers with a warm smile. “Any time.”
It‘s that smile Rei holds on to while he sits in front of a room filled with journalists. It seems like every news station has managed to send someone here and they all have questions. Rei settled on a relaxed posture with a charming smile, a mixture of Amuro and his work persona. Likeable and professional. The perfect face for the masses.
He knows that nobody in this room cares for his true self. They want the construct the PSP has created and that‘s what he gives them. He answers everything with ease and deflects every uncomfortable question with practiced confidence. The room laughs about his jokes and hangs on his every word.
All in all it‘s a great success. His country will be pleased with him.
“Thank you for your time today and your service to us all, Furuya-san,” the moderator of the event finally says. “We can never thank you and your colleagues enough for all you‘ve done to make this world a better place. We‘ve reached the end for today‘s conference, but maybe one last question?”
All reporters raise their hands, but it‘s the young woman on the front row who is probably working for some tabloid that gets the word. She smiles at Rei excitedly. “Furyua-san, I know you already thanked everyone for their part in the take-down of the Black Organization, but is there anyone in particular you‘d like to thank? A special someone maybe?”
Rei laughs. “Are you asking me if I‘m in a relationship?”
She beams at him. “I think that there are many people who would like to know this after today.”
“Well, we wouldn‘t want to disappoint the audience,” he says in a way of stalling time. They haven‘t discussed this. Is Furuya Rei supposed to be in a relationship? Or would it be better to be single and become a daydream for every single woman out there, just like Amuro used to be? He feels Kuroda and Kazami staring daggers into him, daring him to give the right answer.
And then he thinks of Akai‘s smile this morning, of his hand in his on their way here and the long, encouraging kiss before they parted. He remembers all the times he had faith in him even when Rei was still set on destroying him and who killed Gin for hurting him even though the FBI would have preferred him alive for questioning. He knows that he will accept every answer Rei will give now and that he will never judge him for it.
But that doesn‘t mean he should. Rei is lacking in every other aspect in their relationship. He can do this one thing right. And didn‘t Sonoko say that there‘s nothing better than a public love confession?
“There is someone,” he says and hears the collective gasp of the room. He doesn‘t dare to look in Kuroda‘s direction and rather smiles at the woman who stares at him with sparkles in her eyes. He can imagine what her headline is going to be. “My partner. He has been with me through it all and never stopped believing in me, even when I did. I love him very much.” He allows himself his first, honest smile of the day and gets several loud sighs in response. “And I can never thank him enough for everything he does for me.”
Needless to say, chaos erupts after his declaration.
----
“A partner, huh?” Kuroda comments later while the journalists leave the building. “So you and Akai finally decided to seal the deal? Don‘t act so surprised,” he adds when he sees Rei‘s look. “He did disobey direct orders when he saved you. He could have explained it with revenge, if he hadn‘t camped in your hospital room afterwards.”
Rei sighs. “He takes our relationship very seriously.”
“As he should.” Kuroda actually smiles before his face turns serious again. “You realize what this means for your career?” He does. Dating a foreign agent during an undercover mission would have been one thing. Telling the whole world about it equals a verbal resignation.
“With all due respect,” he says with a bright Amuro smile. “But you already threw me to the sideline anyway. Now if you excuse me, my partner reserved a table for us.” The last one is a lie, he doesn‘t know if Akai has actually reserved a table. But Kuroda doesn‘t need to know that.
He feels a strange giddiness when he simply leaves after that. He has been able to say it. After worrying about it for so long, he has been finally able to tell someone about his feelings for Akai. Admittedly not to his face, but that‘s only the next step, right? The important part is that he can actually believe it. He loves Shuuichi Akai and this time he chooses him, consequences be damned.
It doesn‘t change that Akai deserves better, or that Rei is a terrible partner. But he can work on that, too. There‘s nothing he hasn‘t mastered once he set his mind to it.
The giddiness stays until he spots Akai who is waiting for him in the entrance area. Rei‘s steps falter when he sees his expression. It‘s unreadable, void of any emotion. Oh no. He should have thought about this. It‘s not only his career on the line here, after all, it‘s his as well. How could he just make this decision for the both of them?
“I apologize,” he says as soon as they are close enough. “I should have talked to you about it first. I know we‘ve never really discussed our relationship, but…”
He is stopped by Akai‘s lips against his. It‘s a deep, passionate kiss that brings all of his thoughts to a stop. He closes his eyes and sinks against his warmth, all worries gone in an instant. Akai smiles against his mouth and in the next moment Rei finds himself in his arms, safe and strong and so very, very familiar.
A small noise escapes his mouth as the sniper ends the kiss, but he leans their foreheads together instead. He decides that this is an acceptable substitute.
“Yes,” Akai says.
Still dazed, Rei opens his eyes and tries to make sense of the word and the face in front of him that is practically shining. He has never seen him that happy, not even after their first kiss. He smiles back at him. “Yes?”
“Yes,” he repeats. “To being your partner. Or your husband if you want me.”
Rei laughs, the former giddiness returning in full force. “We are not getting engaged in the entrance area of a police station.”
Akai kisses him again. “Of course not.” He beams. “I still intend to court you after all.”
hello loml, since I am in a perpetual jegulus high sexual tension fever with lmtyf, can I request some lil felix/charlie orrr triad hc from lmtyf pretty pleaseeee? <3 (np obv!)
also really random but I wondered if the tattoo moving to certain places in regulus’ body had a meaning? and if it’s tied to specific stress or just emotions in general (on that note just thinking abt regulus makes me wanna hug him so bad that boy was so dooone last chapter poor guy)
anyway, smooching ur brain and putting lmtyf in my pocket im still !!! abt the last chapter !!!! running in circles !!!! (can’t wait for reg to read the letter i am being SOOOO patient rn… so normal abt Kingsley….)
hello hello my love ❤️
ok ok i have been sitting on this ask for many days because i wanted to give it a proper yap so HERE I AM, READY TO YAP (probably way more than you bargained for/want so uhhhh apologies in advance). you said or but i'm gonna give you an and bc i have hc about felix/charlie and the triad <3
i think one of my biggest hc re: felix/charlie in lmtyf is that felix has really intense social anxiety that manifests in the standoffish way he interacts with everyone (also hello he has his own cabin way up in the mountains... this man does Not want to be talked to). he's also in a closet made of glass but staring at the wall. so he's in denial, but he's also subconsciously aware that he's not quite as straight as he wants everyone to believe, so he always worries that people can 'guess' he's gay just from like a really simple 'hello.' his solution? talk to no one. but charlie is persistent (obviously), and he really likes felix, so the one person felix is most comfortable around ends up being charlie. but charlie also gets it bc felix ran away from home and so did charlie bc molly is ... Not Great about charlie being queer. she just doesn't acknowledge it (unfortunately, we do meet molly). so there's an understanding between them bc felix ran from his home but so did charlie, and they're both trying to find their footing and independence away from the environments that hurt them.
as for the triad... big big big fan of kit falling all over the genderfluid spectrum and only sharing this with andrei and ronan who actively work to affirm their gender in whatever way they need. also info we don't have from the story: andrei is the oldest (31), ronan falls in the middle (27), and kit is the youngest (25). ronan is a ravenclaw and kit is a hufflepuff; andrei was a durmstrang student. ronan got the scar in his lip from a horntail. kit is the freakiest of the three. andrei has a strong distaste for pure-blood society, but he's less wary of other pure-bloods than his sister. ronan is the only one who maintains a relationship with his mother, who's a muggle and was abandoned by ronan's father during the wizarding war. ronan thinks (but doesn't actually know) that his dad was a death eater who couldn't let voldemort know he'd slept with and impregnated a muggle woman (true or not, it makes his dad abandoning him and his mom "easier" to process). and on a lighter note: ronan has an oral fixation.
NOW THE TATTOOOOOO rahhhh i love that tattoo and one of my favorite parts is that regulus has no idea the solar system on his back also moves in response to his emotions and stressors??? he only sees the serpent moving around bc that's the part of the tattoo that's disembodied from the rest. also him and evan fucking around with complicated magic at 18/19 and they have no idea what the tattoo is/does! insane little idiots lol.
the tattoo is tied mainly to regulus' subconscious emotions. there are times it moves just to move (again: he knows fuck all about the magic involved in this tattoo which is kinda the point), but it mainly moves when there's some subconscious reasoning. it tends to move when he has sex bc his emotions are loosest (like he says, it helps him relax/unwind), but it doesn't always move when he has sex. there are absolutely times when it stays in one place.
some of the places DO have meaning though. left thigh is always for james (and a nod to cmu). the tattoo settles on his left arm in a few chapters, which he crashes out about for obvious reasons. the serpent pointing towards his throat now is a big "you are suffocating" signifier and it won't move again until he asks for help.
it's rare that i'll actually explain in the narrative why his tattoo is where it is, because regulus himself doesn't know. he has his suspicions for sure (like the serpent continuously ending up on his left thigh re: james is Suspicious). but the magic is such a mystery to him, and he's kinda okay with that tbh
anyway thank u for giving me the chance to yap and for being one of lmtyf's biggest supporters <3 love youuuuuu
