#irishcoyote

[irishcoyote]

Hypersomnia is crazy because it's like

I'll tell somebody that I'm really really really tired to the point I can't control if I'm asleep or awake.

"OoOoOh did you stay up too late???" no I went to bed at 9:00 PM, like always.

"So how early did you wake up???" 6:30 AM, like always.

"Did you wake up in the middle of the night?" no. I slept literally the whole time.

"Did you forget to have coffee?" nah I chugged that shit and then some. I have the caffeine tolerance of a horse now.

"Have you tried taking a nap?" Yeah. On the bus, in class, on the bus again, in the cafeteria while waiting for my next class, and I got inspired to write this post because I woke up drooling on the floor of the bathroom and realized I had fallen asleep again.

Please do your best to understand the situations of people with sleep disorders. It's not fun. It's not cool. It's not cute. It actually really hurts and disrupts our lives.

[oicuperp]

hi, what is monsturd? I appreciate your consideration :)

-Irish

HAI !!!! Monsturd (2003) is a really funny movie you should watch it it's on youtube and it's about a shit monster that eats people

[irishcoyote]

reading people's genuine opinions about Holden Caulfield is one of the ways I remind myself that most people don't actually understand PTSD or trauma.

[irishcoyote]

bleaching my hair platinum blond to reclaim who I was before the accident but half of my friends call me Jared Leto and the other half are calling me Ponyboy Curtis

[irishcoyote]

"I thought about you the other day" is one of the most beautiful, intimate, and romantic sentences to ever exist, but we still just pepper it into conversations as if those seven words don't feel like a tsunami of love and radiance crashing over the tide of our hearts.

[irishcoyote]

I may look fine on the outside but on the inside I'm in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell me that he loves me, but he loves me. And I feel like I've done something terrible-

[irishcoyote]

There's something so unbelievably transmasculine about baseball. HEAR ME OUT I SWEAR.

Being eight years old and wearing your dad's gear in the backyard. The way the jersey drapes over your tiny shoulders like a blanket and the hat slides over your eyes. The sun can't get to you now. Switching sides, and the catcher gear is enough to topple you over. It makes you feel bulletproof. Nobody can see your hair.

Empty-lot baseball on a summer night, there are no "boys" and "girls." No more gear, you get hit by the pitches like a man. You all drink from the same hose, tasting the same hot rust during half-time. Teammates, no jerseys. You smack each other on the back of the head like you're all brothers whether your name is Samantha, Luke, Carlos, or Emma. When the ball is two inches from your face, it doesn't matter who you are or where you come from. All that matters is hit the ball and run run run run run.

Everyone's voice is higher when they scream from the crowd.

You get nicknames in baseball. Names that aren't your own. They called me "short-stop" because I was tiny. "Mac" because I was Irish. We smeared mud on our jawlines so we could have beards like our heroes.

The ball hits your ribs with a devastating sound, and nobody's there to baby you or call you delicate. The team runs over and drags your arms onto their shoulders like Jesus on the cross and once they've thrown you onto the bench they ruffle your hair and say "The bruises make us men." The sun fades away, and everyone goes home, displaying their bruises, black eyes, and grass-burns like miniature soldiers riding on the shoulders of God.

[irishcoyote]

This would be a good time to mention that I really really hate Taylor Swift and anyone who tries to engage in conversation with me about her (unless we're talking about the class division that she represents and how she has become so famous that she should no longer be classified as a human but rather as a brand, corporation, or company) will be sent directly to the shadow zone.