yeah this totally a vent post /serious for once
wow developing smth that genuinely decreases my quality of life that doesnt normally happen to my demographic is awful. being blamed for it. being told to try to prevent it like the three major ways that dont rlly have any actual proof besides correlation are law. like stop youre not helping youre not making me feel any better youre going to make me worry even more about controlling a thing i have researched and know theres no way to!
this is permanent and its wrecking my life and the 'margin' of what i can handle now is even lower than what i could before it i cant escape it and it follows me and its a new Constant Thought.
the absolute mess of stuff i hold back from other people this is why. dont talk about it online much either but here we are bc if i dont get this out ill probably explode
why do people just suck. like i have enough common sense to know how to respectfully - i would have handled it so much better if i was on the opposite side simply by merit of Not Saying The Stupid Stuff like suggesting a person try to mentally control the weather or
no im not elaborating on what this thing is but its permanent it constantly affects my quality of life. do not ask. do not bring this up anywhere other than in the comments of this post because i want to be able to avoid thinking about it since the thought causes me to lock onto it. this includes discord or dms or what have you.
prayers appreciated. maybe the Lord will cure me man i hope so