the fact that luke was out cold while his students ( the age range was literally from like a fuckign child to young adult ) were being massacred by his nephew, many of whom were probably screaming for him to come and help them, really fucking messed with his head and that’s not okay
A/N: Based off of Avira’s sad ending that @lavellanlove heartlessly showed her dead in Solas’ arms, her death most likely by his own hands. Thelrand reacts as well as you would expect and now has to endure an eternity without his nas’falon. (I’m so sorry, LL. This has been stuck in my head since we talked about it.)
Thelrand felt as if he was floating, untethered from the earth, but also crushed to the ground, unable to move from the sheer gravity that weighed on his heart. The clank of his sword falling from his grasp to the stone fell silent to him, the rasps of his shallow breaths the only sound he heard along with the pounding of his breaking heart. His love, his vhenan, his nas’falon was lifeless in Solas’ arms, murdered by the man who claimed to love her. She looked anguished, even in death, having failed her mission to stop Solas from tearing down the Veil.
And Thelrand had stood by him, knowing the price to be paid, but never dreamed that her life was part of the bargain.
Blinded by rage and grief, he hadn’t realized until he was restrained by sentinels that he attempted to kill the man himself, dagger quivering in his hand. Solas simply looked up at him, fresh tears still rolling down his face. How dare he?! What right did Solas have to grieve over her death when he had chosen to take her life?
“Ma eolasem min gara, din ma?!” You knew this would happen, didn't you?! Hot tears streamed down his cheeks, but he didn’t notice. The arms around him tightened, a quick strike to his wrist made him drop his dagger, landing inches away from Solas. The man didn’t even flinch. It was almost laughable that Thelrand thought he could take the Dread Wolf’s life so easily, and he was too tired and too grief-stricken to let vengeance take hold in his heart.
Time passed and he had no idea how long; it hardly mattered since he could now live forever. Theoretically, at least. He resigned himself to a secluded forest where he knew few people wandered. Solas had disarmed him, but otherwise had let him go. Out of pity, perhaps, he had thought. Spirits and wisps hovered around him, whispering. He never paid any mind to their compassionate words, nor their worry, nor their gossip from the living that they thought he was a poor spirit himself. He never paid mind to those who crossed his path, their wide-eyed stares as if they recognized him. They never said anything and he knew he would beg them to kill him if they had.
One day, one person was bold enough to approach him. Thelrand sat on a log in front of an abandoned elvhen ruin that he had made his home. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his silvery white hair cascading over his shoulders. A warm finger brushed against his cheek to tuck the hair behind his ear. He snatched the stranger by the wrist, snapping his head up. He pushed them back after seeing who they were.
Katsuro.
It had been so long, he had nearly forgotten him, but it was unmistakably Katsuro. Thelrand had stood up, creating distance, and kept his face turned from him. His face reddened with shame, his heart pounding with emotion that now seemed so foreign to him. It almost hurt, pressing a hand against his chest as if that would still his heart. How did he not hear him coming? He remembered that the man was extraordinarily skilled, but the quiet forest still should have given him away.
“Thelrand.”
Katsuro almost sounded relieved, but also saddened? Has he always spoken so loudly. Thelrand inhaled shallowly, his eyes stinging with tears that would never come. He shook his head, ears drooping. He then turned from him to walk back to the ruin, but Katsuro closed the distance quickly, grabbing his shoulder to make him face him. Thelrand only responded with a swing of his fist that widely missed his target. And another and another, never connecting as he refused to directly look at him.
Before long, Thelrand became exhausted and dropped to his knees, gathering his hair in his hands to cool off his neck. Suddenly, slender fingers combed through his hair. Thelrand growled, “Stop.” A soft yank of his hair was his answer. He reached to pry the fingers off, but his hands were smacked. Astonished, he pouted like a petulant child, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Relax, arani, I remember that you loved it when I played with your hair. It’s much longer than I remember, but still just as beautiful.” Katsuro’s fingers continued to weave themselves in his hair, and it took Thelrand a long moment to realize he was braiding small sections on either side of his head before fastening it all in a ponytail. His chest stopped hurting, replaced with a strange warmth, especially after hearing the old nickname. He never had the heart to make him change it as “arani” was a friendly term used between strangers, and they stopped being strangers years ago.
But maybe they were strangers now.
The fingers trailed to his neck, almost leaving Thelrand in a trance, the most relaxed he’s felt. Though when he felt Katsuro press against his back, arms wrapping around him, he stiffened and broke away from him. At the back of his mind, he knew he yearned to be held, but it was someone else’ arms he desired. And because of that, he accepted that he would always be lonely. This…Katsuro shouldn’t be here.
“What are you doing here?” His own voice still sounded so foreign to him. Today was the first time he’d used it since….
“To bring you home.”
Fenedhis. Thelrand was grateful he was unable to cry.
“I am already home. You’re wasting your time here.”
Katsuro sighed. “Please come with me, Thelrand.” The touch on Thelrand’s shoulder was gentle, but he shrugged it off. “I’m not going back after I found you- “
Thelrand whipped around, glaring at him. “I didn’t want to be found, Katsuro!” He pushed him back. “Go home! I don’t want you here!” Katsuro’s persistence as he followed him back to the ruin made him growl under his breath. “Why can’t you take the hint?”
“Because I’m not leaving without you,” Katsuro coolly replied.
“Then prepare to stay here for the rest of your life!” He slammed the door to his room, one of the only surviving rooms in the ruin. He sunk into his furs and screamed into them, and only then did cry for the first time in months.
