#it doesn't really exist

[poisonzeth]

Felt like sharing some old and not so old art of some ocs of mine...

[im-so-done]

Time

[mscaicai]

So, with the whole government shut down, do I have to take my American Government exam Friday...?

[sunshinemorningbird]

Third time in a row now

that I've tired to date a guy and it results in "oh hey, I've got some personal shit to deal with, so let's just be friends." Seriously, Universe? Seriously?! Granted, this guy was totally different than all the others. And I'm really proud of him for deciding to take care of himself and am looking forward to being friends. It just sucks as because he was wonderful. Holy shit, did we click and did everything feel right and natural. And we both reallywanted to be together. But it's just not a thing that's going to happen now. Which is fine. But I'm really pissed at the universe for handing me a guy that's completely perfect for me but then going "oh, just kidding. You need to wait. He's not ready for you yet."

You're a bitch, Universe.

I really am done with having a love life, though. Like, seriously. After this one, it's completely off the table from everyone. (Well, except for maybe him. Yeah, he can have it, who am I kidding?) I guess it's perfect timing though because this term is going to be insane. The busiest term I've ever had at Ai. Which I didn't know was possible. But I did it. Plus I'll be busy with work in addition to school and then all the other random stuff I've committed myself to doing as well as all the other stuff I know I'll end up doing.

I really know how to keep myself busy and productive now.

But I am so fed up with this bad timing bullshit. And I'm not mad at any one person. People have got their own shit to deal with, I get that and respect it. I'm just pissed off at the Universe because my heart hurts. Yeah. I said it. My heart hurts, Universe. Quit making me cry and fall for guys who aren't ready for it yet. I'd love to have a healthy, functional, full on relationship with a really nice and wonderful guy. Why is that so difficult? Am I picking the wrong ones? Do I just not know how to play the game? What the hell game am I trying to be a part of anyways? I'm so confused.

Single and weird: Party of One.

I am excited for these things, though. And these are the things that'll keep me busy: -School with my various production classes. -Working at the TSC instead of training. -Getting a new photography client. -Starting Project 365 as soon as I get my camera fixed. -Training for the Shamrock run 5k that I'm doing with my mom and sister in March. -Locke Bros writing, filming, and just the whole production with my bff and creative genius. -12 hour shoot next Saturday night for a feature. -And whatever other shit pops up that I'm so gonna do.

[uhouse]

my life: it's like beauty and the beast kinda. definitely without the stockholm syndrome.

i really do not know how to talk to girls. i don't know how to small talk. i can only give a good response if you give me a query. ugh. i really shouldn't be trying so hard since we'll never happen. 

another reason i wish i was born male-bodied. and another reason i wish i wasn't born socially inept.

damn her.