After 15 years of fights against system and "You are just too sensitive" or "We all are little bit forgetful" told by professionals and 8 hours of tests and three weeks of waiting results, I finally have my diagnosis - I had combined type of ADHD. I feels not different... But I finally can stop saying "undiagnosed" before ADHD. I finally knew which instance I need to go after and that I could be better if I was diagnosed when I was 5... Yeah, but I am nearly 40 years old. What bother me, that any employer would pay attention to my diagnosis and giving me accomodation, because "You are already adult and must learn how co-op with your ADHD"... F🫅🏼 problem is that I am who I am now. I still can't co-op. I am struggling. I am not lazy. Staff said that I am highly intelligent, but I was going without accommodations and that made me strange with self-esteem... Interesting, right?? I must learn to coop, but lack of accommodations give me traumas and made me who I am now... I am total contradiction.
Just want crawling down and crying. Because I lost my life. I was to weak to use my potential and I killed my talents... I tried to figure it out, but was told I need to stay calm and stopping imagining the things... And now I just lost any motivation. But my Brain is actually unmotivated, because of combined type of ADHD...