#it really is simple

[ttheonesanity]

Thinking thoughts of theories.

I have a theory that women are harder to diagnose since men have more freedom around everything. Clothes. Actions. Walking. Talking. Hobbies. Where your head is tilted when you're in public. Play. Simple play. Fun. We are pressured and judged until we fall under the manipulation of societies standards and sit still and pretty while 'boys just be boys' and have actual fun and enjoy life. We can't do anything about it, or else the eyes will be set on us. So, we mask. We become professionals on wearing that mask. Becoming walking sexualizations of people we never wanted to be. And nobody notices. Or talks about. Or thinks about. We mask so much that we forget who we were when we never put on the mask in the first place. It gets stuck. And you forget. And you suffer. And although I have noticed this, I don't have enough strength to do anything. I just think. I can't do these actions I think of.

[ecclesiaautemperfectum]

I know I *just* came back, but I'm considering switching back to physical logs again. I'm doing an everything journal again for 2025 and I like having my list and my recap next to each other in there. I'm trying to simplify my life by eliminating areas I have to update (because it takes more brain power to be like "did I update everything I was supposed to?").

Kinda sucks because I like the accountability of logging on here semi-publicly. But I might just use this as a motivation/vent space when I need it. Less for the actual logging.

Another thing is, I emotionally got back into this because I was stressed and I *wanted* to relapse. That's....not healthy obviously. It's a bad coping mechanism. It's one I've relied on for a long time but I'm genuinely tired of it. I miss being thin. I really do. I miss feeling in control. But, restriction hurts me in the long run. My metabolism is wrecked, I have heart issues I didn't originally, it's hurting me mentally....

I want to be better. Even when my gut instinct reaction is to hide away and starve. I need to ride the wave of wanting that and choose what's actually better for me.

I want to be healthy. Not just thin. *Strong.* I want to feel like I could dance for hours without needing to stop and rest too often. I want to try things like rock climbing or hitting an intense yoga pose.

So, still, I want to fast and focus on proteins. But I also want to make sure I'm getting enough nutrients so I have fuel to actually get muscles. Different goals, different ways of getting there, but in the end it's to feel good about myself.

I don't want it to be THE goal anymore. I want it to supplement my life and make the fun things MORE fun. At least that's how I'm seeing it now. My body is not the most important thing about me, no matter what size I'm at.

I think I'm finally believing it.

[medicinemane]

.

[the-sera]

We will never move forward as a society and species as long as:

1. Education is unaffordable for the mass.

2. School is seen as the only valid source of knowledge on Earth.

99% of intelligent people will never do anything with their intelligence because of this.

And 100% of stupid people who can afford education will make decisions we will all regret.

It’s very simple really.

[frederick-the-great]

Newsflash, there is no excuse for being anti-semitic, fighting islamophobia and being against the state of Israel’s actions is not an excuse for being anti-semitic.

Do not turn your “i’m fighting for non-white muslim people” into antisemitism.

If you’re anti-semitic you’re scum and every single argument you’re making is invalid.