I think the reason the transmasc support discord I was on didn’t work for me is because of the discord channel format, where it’s like a chat. I wrote in the support channel of this discord about how I’m in a long term relationship with a straight guy and we both want to stay together, and how difficult that is and the taboos around talking about it in queer spaces (e.g. he MUST self describe his sexuality differently if we are staying together because what’s really important here is that we all use the right words not my fucking pain, the idea of predatory gays trying to ‘change’ straight people being a toxic stereotype). It was hard for me to write that, and I hoped someone would see it and say they were going through something similar and we could commiserate, there seemed a decent chance of that seeing how many people were on there. But I think I got one sad react and a ‘I’m sorry, that sounds hard’. Both were kind, of course. And then more messages were put from different people needing support, we all need so much support, and my message disappeared off the top and now even if someone in my situation does join they will not see it. A similar thing happened on the forum I sometimes talk about- I would pour my heart out in a long post that no one would read or respond to. I would feel sad and sometimes even quite devastated, even though I knew no one had any obligation to respond to me (I’ve been in situations of being someone’s emotional punching bag for years on end and had no idea I was ever allowed to stop, no way would I ever be against someone not responding to something emotional someone else wrote if they didn’t feel they could). Then I would feel resentful of more ‘popular’ users who always seemed to be getting loads of loving support. Then I realised this was doing ugly things to my thought patterns, then I left. It does hurt to feel like you are trying to engage and no one is responding. Sometimes I write things on facebook that get no engagement, probably because of some algorithm filtering longer posts. My tumblr has long been a dead zone, and as I’ve discussed before that can be an advantage, but sometimes the porn bots and rate my blog bots being my only notes really gets me down. The one time I did get some engagement it was some discourse blogs reblogging someone’s rebuttal to a post I made when I was in the emotional equivelant of 3am and didn’t think someone would see it. In the post, clearly distressed I talked about how I don’t feel the bisexual community is strong or caring or even really there a lot of the time, and I was proved right because none of these presumably fellow bisexuals dropped me a line to say ‘hey I didn’t agree with what you said but you sound like you are going through something, hope you are doing ok’. No one on here does things like that, tumblr has long created this culture where anyone you disagree with is fair game for just being kind of mean, and bad faith reading is encouraged way more than good faith reading.