Rating: E | Category: M/M | Words: 89 486 | Chapters 18/21
Dorian Pavus met the love of his life, quite accidentally, on a dating app called Matchsies. He resisted and he failed, he fell and he learned, and now he's actually... he's quite happy, impossible as it seems. But he is still from Tevinter, he is still avoiding his parents' calls, and he still hasn't told Taren everything.
Any minute now, something is going to ruin this.
It was not forever, that was what he said.
Not forever, but one more month gave way into two, and that looked to be coming upon a third with no sign of change.
Summer ended, and along went Dorian’s birthday, the day they’d met, that unofficial little anniversary slipping away. Taren’s classes started, the sunsets came earlier, storms rolled over the Amaranthine. Dorian’s book went to print, and Taren read his interviews in a Minrathous paper on his tablet.
It was not forever. They called one another, and occasionally repeated that refrain. Mostly they just talked. It was still good, the talking. Dorian still told him about everything exciting and frustrating that went on in Tevinter, he still cared about the mundanities of Taren’s life. He asked questions, he made jokes, he told him honestly about his nights out and shared the gossip and politics of his friends and supporters. Sometimes there was sex, over the phone or through a camera, using his hands and his imagination. Every now and then, Dorian called too late, or after too many drinks, or for too short a time. He was honest, but he wasn’t there, and it hurt.
It hurt, it hurt, it hurt.
Even when everything lined up, when Taren wasn’t tired and Dorian wasn’t busy and the picture was clear, it hurt. He laughed, and it hurt. He smiled, and it hurt. He called him amatus, and it hurt .
Taren was honest too. No one pretended that it did not hurt. If Dorian was late, he made up for it. If Taren missed him, he said so. Sometimes it felt like that was all he said.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.
It would not be forever. No one could stand this forever.
