[Authors note: *bangs head against table* please...just don’t crash on me again...short chapter to make way for the long ass chapter i’ve been trying to work on for the last 3 fucking days now. BUT THIS FUCKING COMPUTER. KEEPS. CRASHING.]
In this chapter: Its do or die time. We decide how this plays out. Do we sacrifice ourselves, or our loved ones for the sake of canon?
At what point does the idea of selfless sacrifice become too all-encompassing? If you had been given the question 10 years ago, you would have said something along the lines of “When you don’t know if you’re sacrificing because you want to, or if it’s because you’re expected to.”
Now? Maybe the answer would still be the same, maybe it would be different. Who knows? But you would still make that sacrifice regardless. These thoughts were warring through your head as the elevator doors dinged open and the 5 of you plus Ben were blasted with energy.
You quickly threw your shield up and it formed a protective bubble around your little group, with you taking the lead, followed by Luther, Klaus, Ben, Allison, Diego, and Five. Your hands were thrown out, and you were slowly moving forwards, like fighting gale force winds that were giving you intense pressure headaches. For everyone else, it was like walking indoors with a thunderstorm rolling out. For you, you were the building shielding everyone, being pelted by rain and debris and wind.
“Alright, so what now?” Luther shouts. “How do we snap her out of this?”
The group had taken refuge behind the main desk and you were the only one still standing. Well, besides Ben of course. You don’t move but you look over in your peripheral vision to Luther, sitting on your right, with Klaus on your left. Five was beside Luther while Diego and Allison were beside Klaus, and they were all looking to you for answers.
“Her mind is at war with herself!” you shout. It hurts to move, but you turn your head to look at him. “I- I don’t…” You didn’t have an answer. Truthfully, when you saw the episode you had always wondered how they expected to get to Vanya and calm her down when she was trapped inside her own head. Because...they couldn’t. Not realistically. You figured, they got to her, and then what? They get the energy sucked out of them trying to get her to snap out of it? And if you sent Ben in, he’d just move towards the light, and you weren’t going through that pain. Nor were going to give it.
You only had one option.
Looking at Ben, you fix him with a steely gaze. “I’m going in.”
Ben's eyes widened. “Are you insane? That’s going to kill you!”
“Don’t you fucking dare!” Klaus shouts and you look at him, shocked at his outburst. Normally he would be all for using your powers and helping save the day. He’s actively glaring at you, true anger broiling under his visage and you don’t think you’ve ever seen it directed at you before.
“What? What are they gonna do?” Diego questions, slapping Klaus on the arm.
“[Y/N]s going in alone!”
“Have you lost every brain cell you own?” Five growls out and had it not been for Luther holding him back, Five would have throttled you where you stood. “We aren’t having you make the sacrifice play!”
“We don’t have another choice!” You scream and it stuns Five into silence. You glare at him fiercely, already knowing where this argument will go. “I know it’s a dumbass idea, but what other one do we have?! I watch as you all get knocked the fuck out?! Or worse, have the energy sucked out of you and you die?! No! Not happening! I refuse!” You look at the door, the pulses getting stronger and more frequent now. “And if I send Ben in, he’ll die. For good this time.” Klaus and Ben glance at each other, shocked. That can happen? “And I’m not having that.” You smile at Ben through your tears. “You’re right. This isn’t the show anymore. And I need to realize that and act like it. So this is me. Actually thinking for once. And I think...I love you all too much to see you lose Ben again.”
You duck under the table, ignoring the protests behind you. You make it maybe a few feet when you feel arms circle around your waist. “Don’t do this. Please.” Klaus murmurs. You refuse to look behind you. “I have to. I’m the only one who can. And you need to let me go.”
“Yeah, that’s not what he meant. He meant: “Don’t do this, without us.” Ben adds, placing a hand on your shoulder. Looking behind you, you see everyone else stagger behind the table and join you in your bubble.
“Guys, I don’t... you don’t need to do this.” Confusion spreads across your face. “Vanya makes it out alive, isn’t that what matters?”
“Not without you.” Those three words from Allison are all that needs to be said and she grabs your hand.
“Not without you.” Five repeats the action and grabs your other hand.
“Not without you.” Diego places his hand on your other shoulder, smiling gently.
“Not without you.” Luther stands resolutely behind you, ruffling your hair slightly.
“Not. Without. You.” Klaus stands up, giving you a kiss for every word spoken. “Haven’t you gotten it by now?”
“But I...I can’t let you deal with this pain. Losing Ben once practically destroyed you all. I can’t let you lose him again.” You try to plead with the others, you have a shot at getting to Vanya and reaching out to her. The only other person who could do that is Ben and it destroyed him in the show.
“What makes you think you’ll lose me?” Ben asks. You look at him and gape at the smirk he’s sporting. Five subconsciously agrees with him. “If anyone can find a way to get through this without losing anyone, it’d be you. You’ve changed the events before.”
“Not to this scale!” You argue. Five merely smiles at you. “Consider it a challenge, then.”
You don’t really have an argument for that. You can only purse your lips and look forward. With everyone holding onto some part of you, you feel like you could do anything. The full force of The Umbrella Academy, finally working together as a family.
Together you move forwards and open the door. With Vanya strapped into the electroshock chair, you instruct Luther to destroy the machine hooked onto her head.
“Oh, I’m really going to regret this.” you mutter and grab Vanya’s hands. With the machine destroyed, you could safely hold onto her, but the pulses were still coming. “Everyone, grab onto me.” You instruct. “I don’t know if this is going to work, but hell, it’s worth a shot.” Immediately you feel several sets of hands on you. There wasn’t any hesitation in their actions. They trusted you that much. You swallow and take a deep breath. “Okay...Ben, I want you to go into Vanya. But through me. Does that make sense?"
Ben gapes at you. "You want me to possess her through you? I...you know what? That plan is batshit crazy enough to work." You smile at him cheekily. "Hey, stranger things have happened! Now come on! Times wasting!"
Ben wastes no more time after that and sinks into your body, dragging your consciousness forward with him as he attempts to possess Vanya through you. As far as plans went, it was stupid. The odds of this being successful were slim to none, and you only suspected it would work because you and Five were used to this sort of thing. Truth be told, you didn't think the others would be of any use, but in all honesty you needed them to hold you up. Plus it makes them think they're useful.
You had a bad history of winging it with plans and ideas. But this might be your biggest gamble yet. If it doesn't pay off, you might have just doomed the world into a nuclear Armageddon.
As your consciousness starts tapering off and the world goes black, you feel Five and Klaus start to slacken, and a brief moment passes where you worry that something happened to them.
But before you have time to question it, you drop, sinking into oblivion.
