#it's heavy

[pocketsizedpanther]

[share-the-damn-bed]

Are we okay?

[brokenangel78]

Put it down for a while and rest.

[honsemd]

My boyfriend out here reading Blood Meridian for "fun"

my guy

FUN?

[christinafurby]

I haven’t posted since Christmas. I’ve had to rely on a cognitive prosthetic 🩼 (AI) 🧠 just to be able to hear what I’m thinking clearly and structure my thoughts. It’s a bridge for the gaps my neurological issues are causing. I wish I could 'be well,' but this New Year's marked 20 years of the chronic illness that led me here.

I just recently found out that for the 4 years I've been going to UCSF, they never once used contrast for my brain scans. They’ve only looked for old scars, ignoring potential active inflammation. Essentially, I could have MS and they’ve never actually tested for it—they just put the FND label on me. Because of that, and the 2-hour interrogation I went through on the 21st, I no longer have trust in the medical world.

It’s okay, though. I don’t really feel real anymore anyway. Everything and everyone else feels real, but I feel like I'm just here to be used—logged on to and then forgotten when done. A giving tree in a world of takers and game players. I’m just really tired.

Losing a decade of history in a single moment recently was a shock I'm still processing. I'm so tired all the time, but I've been trying to keep on trying..

I miss and love you guys. I hope you're all happy. I'll try to be on more when I can ❤️‍🩹

[notes-in-the-margins]

Jess comes to get his car from Stars Hollow the night that Rory is driving to the Rare Manuscript Acquisition dinner. When his car breaks down it's Rory who finds him on the side of the road and is forced to rescue him from the mire of his own mental state.

[cinamun]

I am speechless 😶 I loved reading, of course!!! I felt tears coming when I finished reading because I feel for Mercy so bad. I’m just tired of men she loves hurting her mentally, emotionally, and physically. I know that your wonderfully written stories are not real, but I know so many women who have experienced the same thing. I just want to give Mercy the biggest hug. Great post, as always 💗💗

Oh friend! Thank you! I want to give her the biggest hug too. Something about that last shot is just so moving.

Maybe the pixels aren't real and it's all fiction, but the situations and the personalities are familiar. We know a Mercy, maybe even a Jackson. Even if they've never told us their stories, we know them.

So glad you're enjoying it all!