#itislawhc

[cormac-the-bamf]

★

Lavender Brown is the sort of girl a boy can’t not notice — very pretty and well-endowed, you know. And if there’s one thing Cormac can’t resist, it’s a pretty girl. He has his eye on her for a while, flirting and charming and all of that. The usual. Mostly he just wants to fool around. So he pursues her, because girls like Lavender Brown think that is romantic or whatever.

It starts off alright, but after a little bit she starts acting like they’re a couple. When he tries to kiss her she talks about romance and shit. Overall, he thinks Lavender talks too much and he really doesn’t give a fuck about the latest gossip or whatever else it is she’s decided to blab about.

It’s not worth the effort, Cormac tries to tell himself, but then he sneaks a glance down her shirt and decides otherwise. His dick tells his pride to shut the hell up and he feeds her lines about how much he likes her. It’s not all made up or exaggerated; sometimes she’s actually kind of adorable and funny.

But doesn’t want to be tied down and let some bird nag and hog him, and he doesn’t want a girlfriend, either — at least not Lavender. How does he say that without making her cry or Merlin forbid, start on a tangent? Cormac really, really isn’t a feelings type of bloke, and other people’s feelings are nearly as bad as his own. Instead he just decides to be as much of an ass as possible to her. She gets really clingy as a first response, so he has to try harder.

Well, it worked, because now she thinks he’s the biggest knob around. Still, he can’t help but be offended while she’s off constantly sucking Ron Weasley’s ugly mug and being so damned happy about downgrading.

Cormac always knew Lavender Brown was a bit touched in the head, but this makes her fucking certifiable.

[cormac-the-bamf]

28, 29, 13, 17?

Talk about your fetishes:

Part of me says Cormac would definitely be into some aspects of the whole dominant thing — getting enjoyment out of being in control, maybe tying a girl up a bit, though nothing too extreme. Another part of me says he’s a voyeur. And yet another part of me says it might hardly be considered a kink, but being so into a girl that it’s all about her would be really, really great. what I’m not indecisive 

Talk about what turns you on:

Macho!Cormac says: Ass and titties! Though for the record, he’s definitely a tit man.

Honestly, it’s not that difficult to catch his attention. He’s a seventeen year-old guy, c’mon. He loves girls who love him. But no matter how nice the rack or how dreamy the sigh sent his way, that shit gets boring right quick for Cormac. As arrogant and self-righteous as he can be, a girl who is confident, doesn’t think the sun shines out of his ass for even one second, and is feisty can I just say that I want to hit myself for using that term because I’d punch anyone for saying it to me, along with sassy equals a combination which Cormac will still find compelling after the snog, the fondling, or the fuck…well damn if that’s not the hottest thing of all.

Talk about the first time you had sex:

Cormac was a fifth year when he snagged his first lay. She was a seventh year — names really don’t matter — and she thought his oh-so-suave pickup lines were endearing. They never dated, just fooled around in broom closets, his dormitory, and the Prefect’s bathroom, which was fine with him. She thought he had “potential” and to this day, Cormac’s not completely sure what she meant that in reference to exactly, but he’s adopted it to mean he had potential to be great at sex. Which she helped him with. The first time was awesome for him, obviously, and he thinks she got off on devirginizing him and making him her pet project, but nothing to write home about. Not that he didn’t brag, because Cormac definitely did.  

Talk about someone you want to be friends with:

Cormac says if he wants to be friends with someone, then they’re already friends. And it’s kind of true. When he wants a thing to happen enough to do something about it, he doesn’t do it halfway. He goes all the way, baby *waggles eyebrows* SORRY COULDN’T HELP MYSELF  He also doesn’t see anything wrong with having acquaintances. It’s called networking, for all you plebes who weren’t raised with the proper vernacular. Because Cormac McLaggen is great at being exactly the kind of guy people expect him to be, it’s born and bred into those hearty McLaggens, and he’ll pull out the right vocabulary, the right smile, the right charm, the right whatever to make things happen. And make certain people pay attention to him. Kind of like a puppy. 

[cormac-the-bamf]

Can't Turn Down a Bet || Cormac Headcanon/Snippet

"I was in the Hospital Wing when they held the trials. Ate a pound of doxy eggs for a bet."

-Cormac, HBP, explaining this with "something of a swagger."

Why would anyone eat a pound of doxy eggs? Good question...

A pile of doxy eggs sit on the table, ratted and disgusting, and the Weasley twins across from it, snickering. They're daring anyone in Gryffindor to come up and eat them to prove their bravery. He walks by, giving them a look that clearly said you two are fucking bonkers. 

“What are you, McLaggen, afraid?”

 The words hit him like a bludger to the chest, and Cormac’s head snaps up with a new, determined glint.

 “Like hell I am!” he retorts, and decides right then to do it, take them up on their dare. Without another thought, he reaches forward to pick up an egg. It’s texture is like a thick glob of cobwebs between his fingers, somewhat squishy. He can pretend it's just a grape...well, an old, moldy grape. Looking them straight in the eye, he pops it promptly into his mouth.

Fuck it tastes disgusting, not like a moldy grape at all -- worse, in fact -- but it doesn't stop him from grabbing another handful. Cormac McLaggen is not afraid of anything, damnit. He's seventeen years old, a man for Merlin’s sake, and nobody, especially not the Weasley twins, was going to prove otherwise.

Later, when he’s in the hospital wing -- feverish, vomiting up a thick, black substance, he should probably regret it. But he doesn’t. Instead, he’s just royally pissed that it’s making him miss Quidditch tryouts. He’s never going to hear the end of it from his dad...