#iwiww

[rageclownz]

I’ve completed my first PMV. It is, as with most of my recent work, about Kit Parker. This took about 50 to 55 hours. This project means a lot to me, and I finished it the day before my senior year of college.

Finishing both an entire (first draft) book AND a four minute long PMV in the same week has given me euphoria beyond any other.

I’ll probably be sharing the audio adaptation of the auto-cannibalism scene as well.

Anyway I hope you all enjoy!

[rageclownz]

Hi everyone. I would like to announce that I am writing a book. It is called I Wish it Were Worse. You are not allowed to read it unless I love you. I have written 86,000 words (250+ pages) and am almost done. This is my main character Dakota “Kit” Parker. I love them. I want them dead.

[rageclownz]

June 25, 2025 — my first idea for the cover of I Wish It Were Worse. I like the concept, but not the execution. The shading isn’t how I’d like it to be, and the hair is weird. In the future, I might commission someone to redraw this. But I also like how personal it is to have the art done by myself. I also don’t think I want a name on the cover. Maybe on the side. I should design a side.

[rageclownz]

October 25, 2025 — The second draft of the IWIWW book cover. I ended up redoing everything but the sketch, and even that I altered a little.

There are some things about this that I love, and some I dislike. It’s fine! But I might redo it (again) just like I might redo the ending (again).

I Wish It Were Worse is about a deeply lonely and self destructive person. The gray cat plushie could be either Sesame (a stuffed animal from Kit’s childhood) or gray cat (a stuffed animal that Kit receives after Piper’s death. Kit treats the two plushies differently. Sesame is their best friend’s treasured plushie—Kit cares about him and likes to brush his hair and kiss his nose. Gray cat doesn’t even have a name or pronouns. It just watches Kit get worse <3

[rageclownz]

September 3, 2025 — Kit’s timeline.

I thought a lot about what Kit would look like over time (including in AUs) and this is what came of it. Kit was blonde as a child, but as their hair darkened they began to feel uncomfortable with it. They associated it with aging and being undesirable. They didn’t have the words to express that at the time, of course, but it’s what motivated them to bleach their hair for years. They started getting more interesting with their self expression as a teenager. Also take a look at their body language 🫶 oh Kit…

I tried to make their colors pretty washed out for the most part, but that’s a little hard with bright orange prison jumpsuits. I also tried to make their facial features consistent, which is hard since I changed their makeup, hair, accessories, and eyebrows. The height is not accurate whatsoever, but that wasn’t really the point!

This is a good look into Kit’s history and background. Their identity has changed a lot over the course of their life, which is reflected in their physical characteristics. I love this critter.

[rageclownz]

July 31, 2025 — KIT GLITTER!! This one has lyrics to “Glitter” by Daisy the Great. I saw them in concert a few months ago and got them to sign a poster I made! The poster got super crumpled because we “aren’t allowed to bring signs into the music venues”.

This is something I don’t show a lot with Kit, but it’s still an intrinsic part of their character. They have euphoric episodes. They have nights where they don’t sleep, or eat, or do anything except indulge in unhealthy coping mechanisms and obsess over their appearance and relationships. They had more of those back when they were with Lilly. Not so much with Alice. Which is unfortunate! I think she would find that fun.

Anyway listen to Daisy the Great: https://www.daisythegreat.com/

daisy the great

daisy the great

[rageclownz]

July 21, 2025 — I love drawing Kit vulnerable and upset. They’re good at being that. This is another favorite of mine! Then again, I tend to go all out when I draw Kit, so most of them are my favorites.

This isn’t an excerpt from any scene in particular. It could be in any chapter!

Washed out colors are important when it comes to Kit. I often draw them in whites not to symbolize “innocence” or “purity”, but because it makes them look dull and lifeless. That’s also why they have no pupils and no spark in their eyes! They don’t deserve it.

[rageclownz]

June 28, 2025 — inspired by one of the promo posters for the Breaking Bad movie El Camino, where Todd is holding Jesse’s chin. Their relationship has always disturbed me, and I recently rewatched the whole Breaking Bad franchise. It’s so good.

Kit and Alice’s relationship has a decent amount of parallels to Jesse and Todd’s. Todd’s incredible violence juxtaposed with his strange gentleness is something I connect with Alice.

This isn’t taken from any specific scene, but it could fit with plenty. I love how this turned out! One of my favorite Kit drawings. =)