manbro bukkake theater: thoughts
"manbro bukkake theater" is a phrase that is apparently used twice in homestuck even though i only remembered the second use which is between dirk and jake. the first is between dave and john. daves using it to make fun of ghostbusters and rile john up but john doesnt gaf. as usual.
but heres the thoughts. the ponderings. the up for discussions.
dirk and jake are using it as part of their mindgame elaborate gay bullshit mating ritual. this excerpt is just mindgame elaborate gay bullshit mating ritual. the context is what makes it super yaoiful.
dirk says that hes going to send himself to jake, but jokes paradox space rules might make it so that he sends himself as semi viscous genetic liquid instead. jake, joking back, quotes past dirk as saying manbro bukkake theater because dirk has put his semi viscous genetic liquid all over jakes face before in the past. very likely as an accident. dirk being dirk accuses jake of not knowing what bukkake is, not because of any sense of superiority or interest in accusations, but because its bait. he wants to bait jake into talking about how dirk bukkaked all over jakes face and gay chicken jake into saying something equally sexually gay and then theyll finally be able to talk about their mutual gay interest in each other. (not!) jake knows dirk is baiting him and theyre playing gay chicken so jake being jake pretends he doesnt know what bukkake is because hes totally too cool and masculine and busy to do any dumb thing his bff says to do and jake totally never had an interest in looking it up to find out and jake especially didnt look it up because dirk told him to.
the winner of this round of gay chicken and master-bait-ing is jake because he successfully snubbed dirk and snuffed out any chance of talking about this topic further without dirk coming across as super gay. dirk immediately has to switch to a different topic to save face so they start bickering about movies, with dirk throwing some low blows about jakes taste in movies.
rumble in da pumpkin patch is dirk and jakes television show in the epilogues. like their ship name which is pumpkin patch which is really cute. :) its a wrestling and rap show where dirk plays the role of a downer and jake plays the role of an upper, and they hype up and hype down and hype up the audience in a rollercoaster of emotions to make the highs higher and the lows lower. all of their friends feel really awkward about it but its incredibly popular among the masses. how much of its popularity is because of jakes raw sexual appeal versus because of dirks ability to have the presence of a turd and make jake look really good by comparison is a matter of speculation.
now you may wonder why do their friends feel awkward about ridpp? its because dirk and jake have, years later, still not stopped playing their mindgame elaborate gay bullshit mating ritual. everyone feels awkward because dirk and jake are fucking but not dating or theyre not fucking and dating or not fucking and not dating or fucking and dating. also theyre beating each other up. and roping other characters into their mindgame elaborate gay bullshit mating ritual as pieces to manipulate (theres maybe something to think about dirk and jake both obfuscating their complicated relationship through poor janey - jane's thoughts on the dirkjake situation in meat route which are presented as third party observation are not actually third party and are compromised because thats dirks hands in janeys thoughts. "codependent," really? dirk, not jane, would describe it like that because dirk also doesnt believe theyve broken up and thats why dirks rages anytime janejake happens. even if hes the one making it happen.). and dirk wants to be hated and jakes afraid of being loved but its also the other way around too right with jake self deprecating and dirk not wanting to hear what jake could really think about him (camera panning away from jakes funeral speech while the camera narrates with rapt attention gamzees funeral speech) and jakes fucking anything that moves to make dirk jealous while dirk watches but maybe jake wasnt consenting to any of it and dirk just thinks jake consents to fucking anything that moves (how much does dirk really understand jake? isnt there logic inconsistency in the epilogues about whether jake likes to drink certain alcohol? the narration claims one thing but the reader can observe another thing, is it because of whether jake feels safe drinking around certain characters?). and now theyre both stupid because dirk doesnt know how to ask but jake never lets him ask and dirk will never force the issue and dirk shoots a horse tranq at jake midshow and leaves him to be fondled by his frothing fans and seethes at the jakejane scene his own hands wrote and dave can apparently just ask dirk to whore out jake and the billboards encourage dirks eternal cucking because thats just the kind of mindgame elaborate gay bullshit mating ritual they have. dirk wins the gay chicken at the end of epilogues.
anyway manbro bukkake theater is reborn as rumble in da pumpkin patch