Calling Dr. Love (Chapter 3)
This fic may include the following: Blood, injuries of all shapes and sizes, descriptions of surgery, death, deceased persons, situations of sexual abuse, physical abuse, psychiatric issues and all the other horrific and/or hilarious shit you get to see as a healthcare worker. If you thought The Pitt was too graphic, this isn’t for you. This is the only warning you will receive, there will be no chapter by chapter warnings. In the words of Sweet Brown 'Ain't nobody got time for that.'
Cam's stomach flips as she parks her car at the park. Working in the operating room means she doesn’t have a lot of nicer clothes; Cam usually shows up in sweat pants, shorts and t-shirts, shuffling in the same pair of sandals every day until there’s snow on the ground. She’s tempted to dress nicely, but is stopped short by the idea that she may be the only one in street clothes and not scrubs.
Cam feels like a high schooler, digging through boxes she should have unpacked months ago, trying to find something casual that still looks good. She chose yoga pants and a hoodie, but is wishing she chose something nicer, more flattering, although she despises the word. Flattering was just the way her mother used to tell her she was too fat to wear something. The flattering clothing was always baggy, as if her body should be hidden under canvas until her mother found it acceptable to reveal. Worse was the business clothes of her youth, settling for adult business woman’s clothing as a teen; Cam flinches at the memories of shopping at Catherine’s, searching for anything that didn’t make her look like her great aunt Órla.
The yoga pants look fine on her broad hips and thighs, but she wishes she would have picked a better shirt, or a nicer jacket. She pulls her hoodie over the broadest part of her stomach as she slides out of the car, carrying her bag. Cam isn’t typically self-conscious about her body, but tonight her mouth is dry as she walks through the park, hoping to see anyone she may know. She contemplates if it’s better if she doesn’t see anyone and she can leave, but Cam hears laughter, and turns, seeing people gathered on the park benches, the glow of the lights showing her just enough to see Robby in his hoodie. Cam walks toward them slowly, wondering if she should even bother, or just turn around.
“Cam!” Someone calls, and Cam sees people waving at her, bringing her great relief. She adjusts her hoodie once more as she approaches.
“Thanks for coming. You want a beer?” Robby asks, as Mateo opens a cooler, flashing a lot of cans.
“No, I’m good, thank you.” Cam says, nervously. There’s a woman with brownish-red hair, curtain bangs swinging off of her forehead, she slides over on a bench and gestures for Cam to take a seat. Cam slides in next to her, giving her a slight smile and a nod. “Oh, I wasn’t sure if anyone was hungry. I brought burgers.” Cam says, producing a large paper bag from the tote she’s brought, passing the bag down to Robby and the rest, everyone excitedly reaching into the bag for a large paper wrapped sandwich.
“Tessaro’s?” Mateo asks, unwrapping the burger.
“Can’t get burgers in Pittsburgh anywhere else.” Cam scoffs as the bag ends up passed back toward her and her bench partner.
“You’re practically famous.” The woman laughs, sipping seltzer water.
“Oh boy.” Cam says, shaking her head.
“I’m Cassie McKay. An R3 on days.” Cassie explains. “You’ve got those kids enamored. I thought you’d have a cape.” Cassie chuckles, making Cam sigh.
“No cape. Just a scrub tech.” Cam shrugs, uncomfortable with any semblance of limelight.
“Well, rumor has it you’re incredible, so happy to learn from you anytime.” Cassie shrugs, sipping her seltzer, as she unwraps a burger for herself.
“All I’ve done for six years is work at trauma centers. Learned a lot of ways to skin a cat.” Cam shrugs, focusing on securing the wrapper for her burger around its exterior, desperate for a change in subject to something other than herself.
“Have you ever thought about medical school?” Robby asks as the group gets quiet and stares at Cam. She wants to shrink into herself.
“In this economy?” Cam laughs, making the group chuckle.
“You started without me?” Cam hears Abbot ask, making her freeze. Cam’s head snaps to the left as Abbot comes sauntering down a sidewalk, backpack loose on his shoulder. Donnie hurls a beer at him, which he catches to much applause.
“Cam brought Tessaro’s.” Donnie says through a bite of burger. Cam holds the bag up to him as he walks toward her, only a couple left in a bag that recently held a dozen, fighting the urge to adjust her hoodie more.
“Cheeseburgers and beer, this is my kind of night.” Abbot says, nodding thanks at her as he takes a seat near Robby. “What were you guys talking about? Did I miss anything good?” Abbot asks, cracking open his beer.
“We were talking about how Cam should go to Medical school.” Robby smirks, sipping his beer as he stares at her, making her examine the pavement.
“You know, we need good scrub techs.” Abbot says, clearly trying to get the crowd off of her back, which gives Cam a huge wave of relief, but embarrassment still lingers in the pit of her stomach.
“You know what my favorite part of my job is?” Cam asks, holding her head up finally. “I don’t even have access to EPIC; no charting, no orders, no dealing with pharmacy.” Cam says with a smile.
“Is it too late for me to become a scrub tech?” Robby says, laughing so hard he’s nearly doubled over.
“It does have some downsides. Standing all day, seeing victims of terrible acts and circumstances…” Cam trails off.
“You mean, working at a hospital?” Mateo says, and the whole group laughs.
“True. We also don’t get any continuity though. We don’t get to see the people that get discharged most of the time. Most of the time we just assume they don’t make it. We’re always begging surgical residents for how certain patients are doing, because we rarely ever get to see happy surgery.” Cam explains.
“What about C-Sections? Those are kind of happy.” Whitaker asks, having already finished a nearly half pound burger in minutes, wiping his hands on his scrub pants. Cam hangs her head, shaking it slightly before replying.
“The only C-Sections we only see are fetal demise and HELLP syndrome, sometimes crash ones where the mother is too sick for L&D.” Cam says, picking at her sandwich.
“I used to work in L&D.” Kim says, slugging back some of her beer, manhandling a burger in the other hand. “Babies suck. Baby daddies suck more.” She says with a laugh, making Cam crack a smile. The conversation continues on, but Cam is lost in thought for a moment, slipping out of the lively banter.
“Do you have any kids?” Cassie asks as Cam finally digs into her burger.
“No. After the bullshit I was raised in, I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea. Not that I’ve had men begging me for my hand in marriage. My sister has four, and they’re all I need to remind myself my barren womb was a good life choice for me.” Cam says, taking a bite.
“I have an eleven year old. I probably could’ve made better choices, but I’m glad I have him.” Cassie says.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t mean I hate kids or anything.” Cam says, covering her mouth as she chews.
“No, I didn’t think you meant it like that. I just sometimes wonder what not having him would’ve been like for me sometimes. Would I already be an attending? Would I have even bothered with medicine?” Cassie muses, folding over herself slightly, her voice low. Cam swallows her bite, looking at Cassie.
“I find there’s no point in contemplating, really. Until 2018 I was working at Pittsburgh Glass Works as an administrative assistant. I had a shitty boyfriend and a shitty apartment, but I thought it was okay. I got laid off when they shut down and I went into a spiral. Barely holding it together, trying to make ends meet that were miles apart. My boyfriend got fired for like the sixth time for being a piece of shit, and I snapped. Packed up my important shit, dropped the junk off at Salvation Army, moved to Chicago into a shadier apartment than I had here and applied to Malcom X College surgical tech program. Tended bar down the street from my apartment and school, lived two years probably never leaving the area between Homan Square and UIC until I graduated, got a job at Northwestern. It was really hard, but I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t gotten laid off. Probably had six kids with that fucking loser. The important part is that I did the hard thing, and made the changes I wanted to make.” Cam says, going in for another bite.
“You’ve worked at a lot of trauma centers, right?” Robby asks Cam, interrupting her and McKay’s heart-to-heart. Cam nods around a bite of cheeseburger. “Are you sticking around here for a while? I think we’ve all come to appreciate you at The Pitt.” Robby says, scanning the group.
“It’s only been like, two weeks since you guys even met me. Abbot thought I was some straggler just lingering in the trauma bay recently.” Cam laughs, the small crowd chuckling.
“Well, now I don’t think I want to crack a chest without you. You’ve spoiled us already.” Abbot smirks at her, making Cam smile before averting her gaze.
“I haven’t decided yet. I’ll let you guys know.” Cam says, a small grin on her face.
“She won’t, she’ll Irish exit.” Abbot says, balling up his burger wrapper and crossing his arms.
“I am Irish, it is my thing, culturally.” Cam retorts.
“How Irish?” Abbot asks.
“If my family was anymore filled with Irish inbreds we’d be a fucking sandwich.” Cam finishes with a laugh. “My father was a third generation metal worker who built bridges through Pittsburgh. I remember the stories of my great grandfather running through the streets of the hill district in his underwear when the St. Patrick’s Day flood happened. He had just finished the 16th street bridge and they said it collapsed, and he needed to know it was okay.” Cam says, a warm smile on her face, pride rushing in her veins for her familial roots inside the city. She catches Abbot’s eyes, and his eyes flash back to his beer.
“Damn. That’s a lot of potatoes.” Donnie jokes, laughing.
“And Guiness.” Princess snickers.
“Don’t forget the most important part. Whiskey.” Robby answers, smiling at Cam, who's averting her eyes.
“Aren’t we supposed to be celebrating the young guns? Not talking about my dysfunctional extended family? Should we toast to surviving the first weeks of nights?” Cam asks, desperate to change the subject. She doesn’t have anything to toast with, but she’s trying anything to change the subject.
“You need a beer!” Robby calls. Cam hesitates, but Cassie passes her a seltzer can with a wink. Relief washes over her, grateful that someone can silently cover her.
“Uh, does anyone have anything? I organized this and now I have no idea!” Kim laughs, the crowd chuckles as everyone comes together.
“I got something. May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.” Cam calls, the crowd crushing together to smash their beer cans into one another. Cheers erupts in the park as they drink, and Cam locks eyes briefly with Abbot as she puts her seltzer to her lips.
“That was good, Cam. Thanks.” Robby calls, nodding at her as the crowd starts to part.
“I was just going to tell them it only gets worse, so she’s doing way better than me.” Abbot remarks, focusing on his beer.
“We can’t tell them that yet. We need them to get to R4 before the light in their eyes goes out.” Cam fake whispers, making Robby chuckle. Abbot doesn’t look at her, still locked in on the rim of his beer can.
“I’m on for a few hours tomorrow for Shen. Well, tonight. I’m heading out.” Abbot says, looking at Robby, and Cam feels like a fool, standing there while they half hug one another.
“See, ya, brother.” Robby calls, as Abbot heads down the sidewalk he came into the park through.
“Cam, thanks for the cheeseburgers. Tessaro’s is always incredible.” Abbot calls, turning back.
“You’re welcome!” Cam calls.
“Hey, we’re going to a bar down the street to tie one off, you coming?” Mateo offers her and Robby. Cam shakes her head.
“I, uh, gotta a ton of work to do on my house tomorrow, but thank you.” Cam replies quietly. She heads back to the bench where she left her bag.
“”How long have you been a friend of Bill?” Cassie asks her quietly.
“Who?” Cam asks.
“How long have you been sober?’ Cassie asks, quieter than before.
“Oh. Never drank really. I grew up Irish, I saw enough as a kid to not bother touching the stuff. Bartending was a good reason to never take it up, either.” Cam replies, shouldering her bag.
“Oh. Well, if you ever want someone to knock Shirley temples back with at the bar, I’m your girl.” Cassie says, smiling.
“Thanks, Cassie, I appreciate it.” Cam says, heading toward her car. She sees Whitaker and Santos heading out with Mateo and some other nurses. “Hey! No Mai Tais, No long island iced teas, unless you want to black out and wake up hugging the toilet!” Cam calls out to them. Dennis gives her a weak nod, but Santos rolls her eyes. “Fine, enjoy sleeping on dirty tile all night. Shithead.” Cam mumbles to herself.
“Even if you tell them, they’re not going to listen.” Robby remarks from behind her, making her jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” Robby remarks. “I just want to say, you’ve made a hell of an impression on them so far, and I know Abbot has appreciated you around.” Robby says, slowing his walk. Cam’s eyes go wide, but she doesn’t dare turn.
“Abbot just wants someone to banter and clamshell patients with.” Cam snorts, fishing her keys from her bag.
“I think maybe Dr. Abbot appreciates you for more than just someone who hands him a retractor.” Robby explains. He slows down behind her, nearly caught up to her on the sidewalk, but Cam refuses to stop to chat about whatever he is implying. She finds her keys and hits the fob, unlocking her mini cooper.
“Good night, Dr. Robby.” Cam calls.
“Good night, Cam.” Robby calls.