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Risk

Summary - Jack has always taken risks. But there was one risk that scared the shit out of him, and it involved you.

warnings- hurt and comfort, fluff in the end, mentions of PTSD, gun violence.

A/N - it's a pinch dark but I promise it's light in the end! I swear! I hope you like it!

Your P.O.V.

“How are we looking on those last two rooms?”

“All clear and ready for patients. All charts have been updated and are ready for the Night Shift, and we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“Well, look at you, Miss Sunshine. You’re gettin’ shit done. Maybe I should go home early,”

“Hell no. You’re not leaving me in the lurch, Dana. Not when we’re about to have a handover with the Night Shift to get through,”

Dana laughed, put her glasses back on, walked back to the nurses' station, and picked up new charts to look at. You looked down at your watch: 7:30. The Night Shift should be there any minute to do a handover, and you can head home. Finally. Even though it was a breeze of a shift, those last 30 minutes could still be hell. It’s happened before; it was almost like a curse.

But who knows, maybe it was going to be easy.

You’ve been working at the PTMC for several months; it’ll be your one year anniversary in a month actually. It felt like time went both so fast and so slow at the same time. You came into Pittsburgh from the West, the nurses and residents were already labeling you as the “West Coast Thunder” since you had fire in your belly, but it only came out at certain moments. You’ve been a nurse for quite some time. Right after high school, you went head first into being a nurse when it came to being in medical school and then beyond. Not only were you good, but you were damn good. Coming to Pittsburgh was not really ideal since you were used to the Southwest, but you needed a change of pace and a new set of eyes in your career.

Coming in as a new nurse, you were moving up in both rank and reputation. Dana, being the Charge Nurse of the Day Shift and running The Pitt with a stern gaze and a steady hand, saw the potential in you in becoming a Charge Nurse in due time. She started training you, whether you consented to it or not, and you were seeing through her eyes when it came to running an ER. She was quick witted, smart as well, cool and calm with patience, and could give a singular look to get even an Attending to keep in control. You admired her and how she controlled an entire room of chaos, and you wanted that.

Now, coming into the holiday season with the crisp air replacing the summer heat, you were so close to a promotion. You could feel it in your bones, along your skin, and in your preppy steps. You had plans coming up, flying back to the West Coast to see your parents in California for Thanksgiving since you were devoted to working through the Christmas holidays. Which meant you had two weeks of work to get through before you were on a plane.

“Alright, come on over, Sunshine,” Dana called to you as you glided to be at her side, seeing her click a bit on the computer to show the current numbers in The Pitt. It did seem calm in the entire room; patients were already being taken care of, and only a few were waiting in the Waiting Room just outside the glass doors. Nurses and Residents were floating back and forth, no longer looking like they were panicking as they did hours before when you had a swarm of new patients. Attending’s were keeping an eye on things too. Things were calm, things were at ease.

“You got these files to show Nurse Elena when she clocks in, and it’s good to know where these are if either one of us calls out. Don’t worry, Sunshine, that’s rare,” Dana said to you with a wink, “Make sure they are in order by the date and time each patient is signed in under our care, you know by now, too. They’re color-coded by severity.”

“Aww, I thought you color-coded them because you liked the rainbow.”

You both looked up to a handful of Night Shift nurses and Residents coming in together, Dr. Shen coming in first with his Dunkin Donut ice coffee in hand and a sweet grin on his face. He was always laid back with you but knew when to snap into work mode when there was a crises.

“Heya, Dr. Shen. Ready for The Night Shift?” You asked him casually as he took a sip from his orange straw.

“Always. Please tell me you guys left us some good patients with plenty of blood and all,” Shen asked in a sarcastic tone. You chuckled as Danna rolled her eyes. You watched behind him, a couple of others coming as well, including Charge Nurse Elena. The last one to pop his head in from being in the elevators outside the Waiting Room was Dr. Jack Abbot himself.

The Night Shift was his domain, whereas Dr. Robby Robinavitch had the Day Shift. They both had plenty of years in the medical field, though Jack had a military background. He walked in, his military backpack on his shoulder, small stubble evident, which was the norm for him. Jack was direct, cool in a hot moment.

And inwardly, someone you had a crush on.

Of course, it was a silly crush; you two were professionals for God’s Sake. Although it was never an issue for you, he was older than you and seemed a pinch out of arm’s reach. From the moment you met you all those months ago on your first day, Dana introduced you since you were on of her nurses, the look he gave you alone made you feel somersaults in the pit of your stomach. His cool eyes, the way he stood tall in both confidence and assertiveness, the soft smile he showed you as you shook his calloused hand. Something about him, whether it was the way he carried himself or how he was collected as an Attending, it drew your eyes.

But you knew it was only a crush.

“You know us, we leave the extra bloody ones just for you,” You replied back to Shen. He laughed as Jack walked over to stand next to him.

“Sounds awfully kind of you all, not like last month when we were swamped in your handover for two extra hours,” Jack commented to you in his gravely yet light tone.

“That was not on us; you can blame the parade for that,” Dana said to him in her snarky tone. Jack grinned at her with a wink as she then pointed to you, “She’ll give you the rundown of the Day Shift as I chat with Elena about handover. You’re in good hands.”

“I’m always in good hands with her,” Jack said to Dana, then looking back at you with a small tilt of the head, “How did the day go for you?”

“Good as always,” You replied lightly, seeing his smile widen a bit from the sound of your voice as you gestured to the Pitt behind you, “Shall we?”

“Please. Lead the way,” Jack hummed back smoothly. You started walking, Jack side by side with you as his arms were crossed in front of him. You two walked at the same pace as you started going down the line, room by room, describing the patients that were still under your care and what was going on with them. While you were giving Jack the rundown, Jack was mostly listening to you and drinking in the information.

But you weren’t paying attention enough to see that his eyes were drifting to you, seeing how your hair was in a half up half down style that suited your jawline, how the florescent lights made your hair shine, and even how your freckles danced on your arms and nose.

“The male down at 8 has a bit of a temper, and we had to turn away his cousin to visit him since he was under the influence. 33 years of age, came in with a nasty concussion after slamming his own head while intoxicated. The patient is fine, but he’s waiting for his ride to come, and his cousin is on the no admittance list,” You explained, both you and Jack looking through the window and seeing the 33-year-old male patient looking grumpy on the patient bed.

“He’ll be a ray of sunshine, that’s for sure,” Jack joked, seeing you crack a smile as you nodded in agreement.

“He was a special kind of guy. But he’s sleeping it off now and shouldn’t be an issue,” You insisted, “And at least two other patients over on this side. Very minor,”

“So you’re making this an easy shift for me?” Jack teased, gently nudging your shoulder with his as he chuckled, “I feel spoiled.”

You could have sworn you felt blush hit your cheeks, yet you were trying to hide it as you both walked together. Jack then joined over to the doors that lead to the Ambulance Bay, “Wanna grab some air before you go?”

It was a casual question; you two would chat every once in a while out there when it was quiet during a handover. It was nice to simply talk to him, not about work or the stress of work. You nodded, making your way to the doors with Jack only a beat behind you. You watched as the Day Shift residents chatted with the Night Shift Residents, swapping stories of the last 12 hours as well as how they were doing. It was a good flow between the two sets of nurses and Residents, something you knew both Jack and Dr. Robby Robinavitch worked on relentlessly.

Once you two made it out into the open, fresh air, you breathed out a sigh of relief for finally having your eyes adjust from being under fluorescent lights for hours at a time. Dusk had already come, the moon was slowly creeping up in the violet sky as the nightlife of Pittsburgh began. You felt a chill in the air, cars already honking at one another in agitation as you rubbed your own arms from the slight chill.

“So,” Jack said, breaking the small silence that hung between the two of you, “You’ve been here for a year now at PTMC…”

“Almost a year,” You gently corrected him, seeing him raise a brow at you as you grinned, “It’ll be a year in a month.”

Jack paused, thinking back to see if you were right. You giggled, seeing the pondering gaze he was giving when he as in deep thought. You saw that look on him all the time, mostly when he was arms deep in saving lives back inside the ER and running the show. You could watch him for hours in the end if you could, there was such flow and precision in how he moved from one room to another, delivering orders with professionalism and yet with gentleness. To you, he was fascinating to watch, and you would.

“Oh, so 11 months being here,” he corrected himself, giving you a kind stare, “I take it you’re gonna stay for a while?”

“You make it sound like we have frequent turnover around here,” You challenged, “We’ve been doing well here with our new hires,”

“Not what I meant,” he hummed with a soft shake of his head, “I simply asked if you were gonna stay for us for a while.”

“I think so. Pittsburg has grown on me,” You admitted, “And I’ve gotten a lay of the land real fast around here, thanks to some of the nurses and Shen.”

“Shen?” Jack asked, looking briefly back at the double doors leading into The Pitt and then back at you with a slightly confused look, “He’s been helping you out?”

“Well, I mean, he told me some good places to eat and great spots for bands,” You explained. Jack’s inquisitive look was still evident, but loosened up slightly.

In his mind, he was wondering why Shen was helping you out outside of work. Not that Shen was a terrible guy, he was solid. A good doctor, cocky and funny as hell, but solid. Yet in his mind, he tried to picture an image of the two of you together, out and about in the city. Something inside of him stirred, almost churned, and not in a great way.

“Well, that’s nice of him,” Jack hummed, you could almost hear it in his voice that he was thinking about something else, “But I bet he hasn’t told you all the great spots for a good meal.”

“Probably not,” You agreed in a shrugged.

“Especially for Philly Cheesesteaks,” He went on, making you crack a grin at him. He saw you were hooked and somewhat intrigued as he went on, “If I remember correctly, you love a good Philly Cheesesteak.”

You forgot you told him that, or maybe he heard you talk about it with another nurse as he was passing by on the floor. But he was telling the truth: It was one of your comfort foods to get after a long and crazy shift. Even one time for your birthday, 3 months ago, you got a gift card to one of the Hole-In-The-Wall places that had the sandwich. Some of the residents and nurses went with you to celebrate, and you had the best time. Jack couldn’t go since he was stuck in the Night Shift, inwardly wishing he could be there with you as they sang you Happy Birthday.

“I do,” You hummed.

“I happen to know a great diner, not too far from here, that serves the best in the city and near the water,” Jack explained. You tilted your body over to him a bit more. Jack thought about the right time to properly ask you on a date, thinking about it logically in his mind. He considered you as a good friend; you both helped each other out in The Pitt when it was needed, and you’ve had a few laughs between the pair of you.

When he asked his therapist if it was time for him to go out and date, he was scared shitless. It has been some time since he lost his wife, and he felt like he was doing okay with his own demons and PTSD. Progress was being made, but going back into the dating field seemed scary as hell. But with the permission of his therapist, who was enthusiastic to Jack in actually living his life, Jack decided to take the plunge. This was risky for him, since it felt like he was a teenager all over again, talking to a girl he had a crush on.

But you were no girl, you were a grown woman who was a badass Nurse and extremely kind to all you met. No one took your kindness for weakness in The Pitt; you had moments when you had to pipe up or use your tone to put anyone in line in place. You shined from the moment you walked in the room with your bright smile and eyes, you brought peace and clarity in chaotic moments. To Jack, you were everything and more. And now he was petrified.

“Do you?” You asked back, almost in a challenging tone. Jack hummed, nodding his head once as you spoke again, “I take it that this place is a secret?”

“It is, not even Dr. Shen knows,” Jack said playfully, making you laugh. Jack loved hearing you laugh, and it felt like an internal victory that he did that for you. “Maybe one of these days, I can show you that diner.”

It was subtle, not a straightforward, “Hey, I like you, and I think you’re attractive and sweet and kind and I wanna take you out on a date,” kind of request, but it was still something. Jack wanted it to be calm and cool, but desperate though he felt it at times. It felt like he was in his young twenties when he first met his wife, which seemed like ages ago. He was taken aback by her and how beautiful she was, and how he felt out of her league.

It was the same with you. You were out of his league; he felt it in his bones. But he also felt calm with you; he felt safe, he felt like he never had to have his shield over him at all times. This leap of faith, this massive leap, scared the shit out of him.

Your smile grew; Jack never saw anything else that beautiful before. Maybe this was a good sign, that he said it right, and he was in the clear in you taking him up on that offer. But before you could say yes to him, the sounds of tires screeches were heard behind you to at the driveway into the Ambulance Bay. You both looked, seeing a car screech to a halt about 100 feet away from you. A dark blue car, with a man stumbling out and looking disheveled. Jack was already asserting the scene, seeing how the man was stumbling and almost falling over, how his hands were shaking, even how his faced look puffy. He was in a hoodie jacket and baggy pants; his hair was messy. Maybe he was in trouble, in need of medical help.

“Shit,” You whispered in horror. Jack looked back at you and saw the color drain from your face as you too looked at the man. Your eyes were wide, your stance was stiff, like you were seeing a ghost. Jack faced you as the man was finding his footing before he saw you there with Jack.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked in concern as you found your voice.

“You know that guy I told you about? That we kicked out and told not to come back?” You asked in a crook. Jack nodded. You nodded your head once in his direction, Jack whipping his head back at the man who was now slowly stalking his way over to you and Jack. The man’s eyes were on you, like you were an instant target to him as he pointed one of his beefy fingers at you.

“You Bitch!” He screamed at you. Without a second thought, Jack shoved you behind him to block you from his view. You were scared, Jack sensed and felt it as he saw the man staggering over some more. There were clear indications that he was intoxicated as he was getting closer to the pair of you. Jack’s Military Mode kicked in, one arm still against you to keep you tucked back as he held out another hand in front of him.

“Sir, you need to take a step back. We can help you in there, but you need to calm down,” Jack ordered him, his voice solid and true. The man looked beyond heated.

“That bitch kicked me out when I wanted to see my brother! I wanna see him, now!” He yelled, his voice booming as he was still trying to look at you, though Jack’s solid figure was making it hard. Jack kept his cool, but the last thing he wanted was a confrontation outside the ER and with you in the mix. You clung onto the back of his scrubs, your heart beating wildly now as Jack’s hand on your arm gripped slightly harder.

“You’re going to see him, once you cool off and calm down, alright? Take a breath, sir,” Jack spoke to him again, the man slowing down on his staggering walk and rubbing his face in agitation. Jack turned his head in your direction quickly while he was distracted.

“Go inside and tell Dana and Elena there’s a potential Code Hula Hoop outside,” Jack said quickly, you shooting a look at him in worry as he was staying in his spot, “Go, now!”

You nodded your head and moved away from Jack, keeping your eyes on the man who moved his fingers away from his eyes. He saw you, anger flared again on his face as you were about to sprint through the double doors, back to the safety of the fluorescent lights and the regular noise of The Pitt.

But he reached into his pocket and grabbed something else that made your blood go cold. A gun.

“I don’t need any more shit today!” He roared, aiming the gun in your direction as you were now running for your life.

The next three seconds seemed to slow down time itself.

One second, you were bolting to the ER, hoping and praying you were going to make it.

Two Seconds, Jack screaming out, “NO!” His voice was cracking in fear and in panic.

Three Seconds, you heard the gun go off.

Insane pain hit your hip, a burning pain, and made you fall to the ground. You saw your vision tilt; one minute, you were upright and running, then the next, you were collapsing on the ground. You screamed out from the pain, but your head slammed on the concrete floor, which made you go quiet.

The last thing you saw and heard was chaos. People running out of the double doors, the man screaming out as if someone tackled him to the ground, and blooming pain in your hip, along with warm liquid along your scrubs. You saw the world now sideways since you were on the ground, though now it was getting blurry, and failure hit you like a freight train, and the pain was shooting from your hip to the rest of your body.

Someone was calling your name as your vision went black.

Jack’s POV

“Jack. Hey, Jack,”

Jack blinked awake, snapping up from his spot next to the cot as he rubbed his eyes and looked over to where the voice came from. Robby was there, a soft but tired smile on his face as he watched Jack carefully. Robby had a brown bag in his hand, along with a chilled water bottle. Jack’s head was throbbing, his stomach grumbled, but he wasn’t worried about that.

He looked away from Robby over to you. Your unconscious in the propped-up hospital bed.

You were out cold, and you have been for the past 6 hours. A gauze and wrap was around both of your hips, an IV was in your arm and working already, and a small cut along your forehead where you fell and hit the pavement was already stitched up. The first hour was chaos, utter chaos, and Jack felt like you were going to be lost when you were rushed into the OR. But you pulled through by the Grace of God, you made it out in one piece.

Jack was with you the entire time, not wanting to leave your side when you went under the knife and needed life-saving surgery. He was tempted to be the one making all the choices, but given the fact that he had a busted lip and bruises along his arm because of him tackling the drunk bastard, he was nowhere capable of conducting the surgery to get the bullet out of your hip. He stayed in the room, watching intensely and not loosing a second of his eyes on you.

He remembered all that happened right after the gun went off. He saw you fall, heard you scream out in pain, and he felt his world shatter. The blood splattered on the floor where the bullet entered your body, the way you gasped out a painful breath as you fell to the ground like a sack of flour, even the sound of your head hitting the pavement pained him to sad. He saw red; the rational side of him that he’s had for years in both the military and in the ER was gone as soon as he saw what happened with you.

He ran towards the man, who immediately dropped the gun as soon as he realized what he had done. Jack tackled him to the ground and kept him in there until the cops came. The man was arrested with a busted nose and a bruised ego, and Jack swore he would kill him if he ever saw him again.

“I came to check up on you and see how you were doing,” Robby hummed, walking over to place the brown bag on the rolling stand next Jack, “Got you food: Salad and a sandwich.”

Jack inhaled sharply as he nodded slowly.

“Yeah, not a great meal for you, but it’s Dana’s orders. You need substances,” Robby reasoned.

“Thanks,” Jack grumbled out, his voice scratchy and cold. Not the relaxed tone Robby was used to as Jack rotated his neck to stretch out from being in one spot for too long. Robby reluctantly looked away from Jack to you, seeing you breathing deeply and slowly. You had your own private room in the hospital, cleaned up, and in a fresh hospital gown since your scrubs were doused in blood and grime. Your mom and dad are currently flying from California. Dana called since they were still your emergency contact. Dana explained to them all that happened with you while you were in surgery. Jack would have made the call, but he was compromised.

He was compromised because of you.

“I-I should check on the Night Shift and—“ Jack was about to make an excuse to maybe step out of the room, though he didn’t want to. He would rather stay with you until he knew you were okay. You were okay, he heard it from the surgeons and worked on you as well as the doctors who checked your vitals at least three times before you went into recovery. It was nearly 2 AM now, Jack should be down making his rounds and making sure all was well. He’s even checked your chart, which he knew was illegal, but he didn’t care, and he saw your numbers. You were fine.

But he wasn’t convinced until you woke up.

“Shen has everything squared away,” Robby recited to Jack, Jack pausing in his chair as Robby kept going, “It’s calm down there. It’s in control. Elena’s running a tight ship. Jack, you should go home.”

“I’m not going home,”

It sounded harsh when it came out of his mouth, but he was telling the truth. The last place he wanted to be was in his apartment that felt too claustrophobic. It always felt that way, which is that he only used the place to sleep or reset himself for his shift. But now, after what happened, he would have suffocated in there.

He would have seen you when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep; he would have heard you scream out in pain when he tried to make himself dinner. You would have been everywhere to him, and it scared the shit out of him.

“Jack, she’s….she’s going to be fine,” Robby said carefully, knowing he was treading on dangerous waters when it came to this situation. Robby knew Jack far too well; they both were almost cut from the same cloth in stubbornness and assertiveness. Though Robby knew he was more brash, Jack still had that stone wall in him that would never crack under pressure.

“She was shot at,” Jack said in a bitter tone, trying hard not to show what he was feeling inside. Rage and anger. Mostly to the man who thought it was a great idea to bring a gun to the ER because he was agitated. Rage and Anger that a Charge Nurse was shot at.

Rage and anger that Jack didn’t stop it from happening.

“She’s alive, Jack,” Robby bounced back.

“Barely,” Jack growled.

“Hey,” Robby snipped. Jack then tore his eyes away from you and back to him. Jack saw it on his face, the look of fear in Robby’s eyes as Robby inhaled sharply and placed his hands on his hips. Robby and Jack knew how to speak to one another without judgment. Plenty of years working together and building a strong foundation were enough to be real with one another. Jack was the grounded one, but he leveled Robby when it was needed.

Now, apparently, it was his turn to be leveled.

“You stopped that man from shooting the entire ER,” Robby explained carefully, yet his voice was low and back in its “Attending” tone. “You held that fucker down and took some punches until the cops came. Thank God there was a Resident near the doors who saw the whole thing and warned us, or else it would have been worse. Jack, you did well,”

“No, I didn’t,” Jack said in a low tone, his eyes going back to you. You were still breathing, deep and even. He wanted to reach out and take your hand, giving you some comfort. Were you scared? Were you dreaming of it over and over? Jack would give anything to see you wake up, to hear your bright voice that seemed to bring him hope. It pained him, almost consumed him, to think that he couldn’t do anything to help you.

He tried running after you, even with his prosthetic killing him once the police came and threw handcuffs on the guy. You were already being taken away on the gurney, gauze on your hip that was slowly bleeding out in ribbons thanks to the gunshot wound. Dr. Ellis had her hand pressed to your hip hard to stop the bleeding as Nurse Mateo and Dr. Cyrus trailed behind. Even with Doctors and nurses around you, Jack felt like he was going to lose you in the sea.

“I don’t care about that fucker anymore,” Jack stated, closing his eyes for a brief moment as he sat back in his chair, “I just….I…..I should have taken that bullet, not her,”

It sounds pitiful when it came out of his mouth, but a part of him was telling the truth. He had demons, he had moments standing on the rooftop of the hospital where he was tempted to simply fall over the edge. His therapist worked with him to bring him out of total darkness, and he thought he could do it. But there were still moments of dread, flashes of memories of being back in the war and losing his leg, of watching his wife die in front of him. Those demons will always stay with him, simply because he couldn’t stop them.

This was a new demon to haunt him.

“Jack,” Robby called to him gently, like he was lost in the fog and trying to navigate him to the list. Jack felt a singular tear go down his cheek as he shoved it away, looking back at his old friend as Robby smiled. Jack saw the pain there on his face; seeing and fearing Jack in pain brought Robby pain.

“You told her to run,” He said carefully, “You told her to get inside and warn us. Jack, you were trying to get her away from the danger. What would have happened if she had stayed? You both take a bullet, or two or three, right in the chest?”

Jack paused, saying nothing since Robby was laying it on thick.

“You think I have wanted to come out and see both of you dead? You’re not allowed to die on me; I need someone to pull my head out of my ass from time to time. You feel like shit now because of what happened, fine. Feel like shit, feel it. But I’m fucking grateful you two are here and alive, and everyone downstairs is alive and safe. That’s because of you, you hear me? You!” Robby recited to Jack, pointing his finger at him and giving him a stern look.

Jack was used to running into the line of fire with a single thought; he had to be, since he was on the SWAT team as a medic. This time, he was afraid, beyond afraid. All because of you. You were someone who brought light back in his life, light that seemed to be a beacon for him to follow when his thoughts were dark. You were something stable for him, constant yet unpredictable, bright and yet mellow. The one thing that scared him out of all of it was that he was so close to asking you on a date, to start something good and kind with you. But it was nearly taken away, out of his hands.

“You’ve been in worse situations than this overseas, Jack. Even here in Pittsburgh. And yet you always came back in one piece—" Robby started, then he paused. Jack couldn’t help but give out a dry chuckle.

“That was a low blow, Robby,” He voiced, but he didn’t sound heavy about it. Robby sighed, though a small laugh escaped from his lips, too.

“It was……my bad,” he apologized, “But…you know what I mean. You’re gonna make it through this, and so will she. I know you care about her.”

“She’s my friend, of course I care,” Jack countered, but he felt Robby’s hand on his shoulder. Jack locked eyes with him, and the singular gaze he got from Robby was enough for him to know that Robby knew more than he should.

Robby’s smile was enough to make Jack feel a bit foolish.

“I won’t say a word,” Robby said. Jack knew what he meant, and he just smiled as Robby clasped him on the shoulder, “I’m gonna go home and get some sleep. I’ll let the nurses outside know you’re hunkering down here. Call me when she wakes up, please?”

“You got it,” Jack replied, and without another word, Robby slipped out of the room. It was just you and Jack again, Jack breathing out a breath he was holding for so long. Silence filled the room, only your breathing and the heat monitor beeping away were heard. Jack’s eyes stayed on you, monitoring you like a hawk. He hated this, loathed this, and all he wanted you to do was wake up.

Your arm was against your side above the blankets, your fingers still. Jack carefully reached over, placing his hand on yours. He knew you could feel it, you had to have, and as Jack held your hand and felt how soft your skin was, your heart was beating a pinch faster.

He knew, then and in that moment, he wanted you. He needed you. Not just as a friend, but as someone more. Jack wanted to hold your hand every day, he wanted to take you to dinner and on dates just to see you blush and feel loved, he wanted to bring you nothing but happiness because he felt it from you.

Jack wanted to hug you, he wanted to kiss you, he wanted lots of things. With you. Only you.

“Come on,” he said to you, inching a bit closer as his thumb started to rub along the top of your hand, “You need to open your eyes for me so I know you’re okay. I…I owe you a date at that diner, remember?”

He tried picturing it in his head, you two sitting across from one another. You would eat the infamous Philly Cheesesteak while Jack would stick with a potpie, and you two would laugh over stories from the ER that you would swap with one another. Jack could even picture himself reaching over to lace your fingers with his on top of the table, you squeezing back with gentleness.

He laced your fingers there on the bed, hoping that the warmth that he knew you had would be evident.

Your fingers, carefully, squeezed his own. Jack’s eyes went wide from the sensation. He looked at your joined hands, how your palms were connected, and yet it felt perfect. You then inhaled sharply, your eyes behind your closed eyelids were moving as you groaned slightly. Jack was on high alert now, sitting up a bit in his chair as you finally, after what seemed like eternity, opened your eyes.

Those bright eyes. God, Jack missed them.

Your P.O.V

The first thing you saw was lights above you. But they were dimmed, almost completely off, but not all the way. Second, you breathed in the stale air of the hospital. Not the cement from outside, not the rusty scent of blood, just…stale and sterile air. A heart monitor was beeping, a bit faster now that you were awake. Was it yours? You blinked a few times and realized your right hand was held behind by another. Not yours.

Slowly, since your head felt like a lead balloon, you looked over.

There was Jack Abbot, holding your hand and looking at you as if he were. Seeing a ghost. His hair was wild and disheveled, his eyes bloodshot, his clothes ruffled. Was this a dream? Were you hallucinating? It didn’t feel like a dream since he was still there, right in front of you in one of the metal chairs, and looking like he was on the verge of tears. This was not like him: Jack was always collected and poised. He always looked put together in a unique way. The man in front of you, it didn’t feel like Jack.

“Hey,” He said in a hiccup, you carefully smiling. Maybe it was the drugs you were feeling in your system, or maybe you were tired, but you were glad to see him. He was a familiar face, a safe face, someone who wouldn’t steer you wrong. But as you were about to shift in your spot on the bed, you felt it. A dull ache, painful, against your hip. You squinted, gasping out in pain as your eyes slammed shut.

“Hey, easy,” Jack said calmly as he scooted closer and kept your hand in his, “You’re…you’re still recovering,”

That made your eyes open fast; it was all coming back to you. Within a second, in your mind, you were picturing what happened outside at the Ambulance Bay. The man staggering towards you, Jack telling you to run. It was all coming back within seconds, then the sensation of being shot at….

You were shot at.

It hit you sideways like a freight train. Tears were forming in your eyes from the realization that you were shot at. Before you knew it, you were crying, freely crying and covering your mouth with your hand that Jack wasn’t holding. You tried to keep it in, but you couldn’t. It was a flood gate that was now open and too powerful to pull back from.

“Hey, hey hey,” Jack moved before he realized. He sat on the side of the bed, getting close enough to pull you into his embrace. You went willingly, clinging to him like a lifeline as you cried. Jack’s hand cradled the back of your head as his other hand wrapped around your back, just keeping you anchored as you wept.

“I got you, okay? I got you, you’re safe,” He cooed against your head over and over like a mantra. He said it with such conviction that he hoped it was etched on your skin, “You’re safe. I promise you’re safe.”

As you cried, you felt his warmth. How solid his chest was, the whiff of cologne he still had lingering on his clothes, it engulfed you like a warm blanket to fight away the nightmares. You never wanted to let him go, not in that moment when it felt like you were free-falling. The pain in your hip, the look in the eyes of that man with that gun, frightened you so bad.

Once the tears dried up and your cries turned into whimpers, Jack could feel you were calming down a bit more. You sniffled, leaning back a bit and wiping away the tears too aggressively. Jack shook his head.

“Stop, I got it,” He said softly, reaching up with the hand that was behind your head to move away the tears on your cheeks. You were watching him with bloodshot eyes, seeing him look just as emotional as you as you drank in the sight of him. A few cuts and a nasty bruise, along with the busted lip.

“You’re hurt,” You finally said, Jack smiling. The first two words uttered out of your mouth were about him. You looked at him in confusion as he shook his head slightly.

“You’re worrying about me when you’re in a hospital bed?” He asked in a sarcastic manner, “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

You took in a long breath, not smiling just yet but calmer than before. You looked down at the bed you were in, the bunched blankets, and the gown they put you in.

“I was shot at…” You started, Jack scooting back a bit but taking your hand again.

“On your right hip,” He explained, you looked in the direction of your right hip. You could feel the gauze and wrap along your hip, pressed on perfectly with the right amount of pressure. The wrap felt perfectly precise, thanks to your nursing knowledge.

“He didn’t hit bone or even an artery,” Jack explained, remembering the notes and what the doctors told him as he was waiting outside the OR hours before, “But he was off by an inch. You lost a lot of blood, that’s why you’re a bit woozy.”

At the mention, your head felt a pinch heavier and uneasy as you kept breathing in and out slowly.

“They had you in the OR for a bit. They got the bullet out, and you had a small hiccup here and there—“

“Hiccup?” You asked meekly, Jack nodded carefully.

“They saved you,” he reassured you, “You’re gonna have a scar, but you’re alive, okay?”

You nodded, showing you heard, as you then had another question in your head. You looked at his face carefully, pointing with a shaky finger at his face and injuries.

“He did that to you?” You asked carefully. Jack shrugged, scratching his stubbly chin.

“I had to pin the bastard down before he could run off. He hit me a few times, but it’s nothing,” he tried to brush it off. Something made you reach out, touching his face carefully and almost cupping his jaw within your palm. Jack lost his breath for a moment, your palm barely touching his cheek and somehow making him feel grounded. He hasn’t felt this way since his wife was alive, even though he was battered and bruised himself. This was different, this was scary, and yet he wasn’t afraid.

“Jack,” You said his name, no longer shaking or sounding like you were breaking, “You saved my life—“

“Hey,” He hummed, reaching out to take your hand to lace your fingers together and search your eyes. You were a Charge Nurse in Training, a friend, a co-worker, and the line should not be crossed. Not now, when you just woke up to being shot at. Why was Jack thinking of that line, and why was he trying so hard not to cross it in that moment?

“It’s over now, okay?” He asked, taking in a long breath before he went on, “You’re gonna recover and get better, and we can put what happened behind us.”

He made it sound so simple, and maybe it was. But how could you? It was all so scary to witness and feel, all within seconds. You were scared, beyond scared. However, you were spared from death, all because of the man in front of you. Who was willing to protect you, to make sure you were going to live?

“How long did they say it’ll take for me to heal?” You asked in a soft tone.

“A few weeks, maybe a month. Give or take,” Jack answered, “Dana knows, and she’ll look forward to seeing you when you go back to work fully healed.”

“Fully healed? What am I going to do, sneak back to work?” You asked lightly, a soft smile there. Jack’s heart expanded from the sight, a sense of relief since you were almost back to your old self.

“I would not be surprised,” Jack answered, “It took you literally weeks to get some time off for a week's vacation last year, it was like pulling teeth with you.”

You smiled a bit wider, and a small laugh escaped your lips. Jack could see this was going in the right direction with the conversation as he smiled too. It was killing him to smile with his lip, but he didn’t care: he was helping you in the moment.

“Come on, think about it,” Jack kept going as you noticed that he was still holding your hands carefully, almost intimately, “It’s a vacation, and it’s a paid vacation! You get to stay home and sleep in, read all those books you’ve been telling me about that have been collecting dust, watching trashy reality TV—“

“Go to a diner with you.”

Jack’s mouth slammed shut as you said it, his eyes going a bit wide like deer caught in headlights. Those six words, they were hanging in the air. You watched his reaction, seeing how Dr. Jack Abbot, who was always composed and knew what to do and what to say in the right moment, looked as if he was a statue. This was not like him, but it felt right to say that.

You only smiled, holding onto his hands tightly as you searched his eyes, “Jack, I remember you telling me about the diner, with the Philly Cheesesteaks that are apparently good.”

“They’re the best,” Jack added, sounding breathless from the conversation currently happening. He was thinking about asking you out, properly, and at the right time. This was the shittiest time, but there you were. The one who was shot at, remembering a small conversation that was meant to be light and hopeful.

“I never got to say yes, you know,”

You meant it, never sounding unsure or uneasy. Jack snuck into your life so carefully, sneakily, and yet naturally. He loved hearing about your books and what you were wanting to read, the indie bands you were listening to. You felt safe enough to tell him about your life and what you wanted to do, and it was the same with him. You knew a good amount of his past and how he was keeping people at an arms length away. But it never mattered, not when he gave you butterflies in your stomach and had your cheeks warms. Not when he guided you when you helped in the ER.

So when he suggested dinner, with him, you felt like it was too good to be true.

“You can take me to the diner and buy me a Philly Cheesesteak,” You stated to him. Jack was still watching you with his undivided attention. “Deal?”

There was tension there between you two. You felt it, maybe Jack did too. The tension seemed like it was going to snap at any time. You were no longer thinking about your hip or that you were in a hospital bed, dodging death barely. Something else occupied your mind, something good and filled with happiness. Something that you’ve wanted for some time but thought you could never have. Not with him.

Not with Jack, who was giving you the same stare back.

“Deal,” he mumbled, his eyes briefly looking at your lips before back into your eyes.

You let the tension break, reach up to cup the back of his neck, and guide him in. He went willingly, not holding back, as both of your lips barely touched. You exhaled, touching his lips to yours finally. It felt like flying, like your stomach was now flipping again and again. That kiss, so gentle and fragile, felt like everything and more. His lips were slightly chapped, but they tasted amazing as you held the kiss for a few long seconds. Hoping to cement what you felt towards him.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you pulled away. You thought maybe you stepped over the line, that you went too far since he was an Attending at the same work place you were in. But before you could apologize or move even three inches away, Jack reached up to frame your face.

He kissed you back just as sweetly. Your mind was blank, and you leaned into him.

You both were kissing in the hospital room, with no shame as you kissed him back and gently grabbed the front of his shirt with your fingers. His fingers stayed along your neck and jaw, being as careful as if he was afraid to break you. One kiss turned into another, then another, and before you knew it, it was slowly building. It felt like a rush, a thrill, and as you kissed him a bit boldly, you felt him wince from his busted lip.

“Sorry..” You mumbled against his lips you pulled away to apologize. Jack shook his head immediately, not wishing to stop kissing you even for a second.

“No, I’m fine,” he said against your lips as he boldly kissed you. You whimpered, almost moaned as he suddenly stood up to tower over you. You craned your neck up, aching to have him closer to you. Your one arm snaked around his waist, feeling how solid he was and how warm too, as he traced his fingers along your jawline and sunk some of the same fingers in your hair. This wasn’t like you two were horny teenagers, trying to consume one another. No, this was softer, the build up and slow and careful. There was no rush, no need to be fast.

He kept kissing you so softly, like you were a flower petal and not diving in to engulf you. If it were any other time, you’d hate it. You’d rush in to consume him, have him under your skin, and wrapped around your bones. But for now, for your first time having him like this, you never minded it.

It wasn’t every day you get to make out with your work crush in a hospital room.

You two were too engrossed with one another, almost breathing each other in, and at the same time not being able to get enough. But when you shifted in your bed, you winced in pain from moving your hip. Jack heard it and felt it, moving away immediately. The pain was dull, but evident as you squinted and slammed your eye shut briefly.

“Okay,” Jack said in a raspy tone, almost out of breath himself, “We’re done with that.”

“I’m--“

“Do not finish that sentence. You were shot in the hip. Clearly, you’re not okay,” Jack reminded you, though you opened your eyes. He looked blissed out in his eyes and on his face, his eyes warm and his cheeks having color even with the bruise there. He plopped back down on the chair, being eye level with you again. The pulse on the heart monitor picked up a bit thanks to the make-out session, but you were smiling from ear to ear.

Jack watched you for a brief moment. Simply drinking in the sight of you in front of him. He leaned in carefully, pressing a singular kiss against your lips. It was gentler, almost like a breeze or like mist. Within a second, he pulled away and moved his lips to your forehead. Almost sealing it there as his hands remained close along your shoulders. You knew things had changed between the two of you; you two were no longer just friends. You were something more, something concrete and deep.

Something loving.

His stomach grumbled. Jack groaned against your forehead as you laughed.

“When did you eat last?” You asked as he pulled away and looked at his watch. He huffed.

“Before my shift was supposed to start,” he answered. Your eyebrows shot up.

“Jack! You need to eat!” You said in shock, though Jack pointed to the brown bag behind you.

“Dana got me something, don’t worry,” He reassured you as he moved the table over to be next to him and in front of you, “And I was occupied watching you. You can split my meal with me, I won’t be able to eat all of it.”

“Am I allowed to eat right now?” You questioned.

“I won’t say anything,” Jack teased with a wink, you giggled as he pulled out the sandwich and the salad in its container. You watched as he was setting the table up, breaking the sandwich in half, and placing it in front of you. It looked appealing, kind of plain, but you, too, were hungry. You both ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes. You didn’t mind the taste of the sandwich at all, better than the stale hospital food you knew they served.

After a few bites, Jack smiled at the sight of you getting food in your belly as he took a small sip from his water bottle, “I promise, the Philly Cheesesteak is gonna taste better when I take you.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” you hummed, Jack handing you his water bottle. You took it hesitantly, Jack giving you a look.

“We just kissed for like five minutes, and you don’t want my germs?” He teased. You threw a napkin at him, Jack laughing as he dodged the napkin just in time. It felt like a good rhythm again, even after admiring your feelings for one another. Maybe you didn’t admit it with your words, but with your actions, but it seemed perfect for you two.

Jack took you on that date 1 week later, when you were able to walk, and it was the start of many dates. Jack was glad he took that risk, because the reward was everything to him and more.

The End

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