#jack talks sw

[boyoshock]

oBI-wan kenoBI

[boyoshock]

Probably the best evidence for "once you're corrupted by the dark side you aren't actually yourself anymore" is that darth Vader barely remembered his own name lol

[boyoshock]

could you imagine a star wars fandom if the OT came out during the heyday of livejournal

luke/leia vs han/leia the ship war of the century with an earthshattering reveal in rotj after like 5 years of nonstop fighting. except that han/luke is probably the biggest ship by literally thousands of fics. luke/wedge the rarepair that has big bangs all the damn time and you cant escape it. some guy in the corner drawing han/chewbacca and having to constantly remind people that chewbacca is a fully grown sentient being and him and han do understand eachother. somebody right after new hope came up with luke/vader and everybody probably imagined vader was hot under the helmet but then EST comes out and theyre all like “uh oh” and the comms are abandoned overnight and the fics never get updated again. han/boba overshadows han/lando and people are pissed off because we dont even know what boba fett looks like for gods sake but fuckin of course that happens. obiwan/vader set in the past and everybody’s OC anakins would be so close to the truth and yet so, so far. “has anybody noticed leia is literally the only woman in the series?” Han/OFC and Han/reader ad nausueam. modern AUs where luke is a farmer or a barista or a college student and Han is a biker or a punk rocker or his deadbeat upperclassman roommate/cool TA. an unending torrent of young conventionally attractive r2d2/c3po humanizations. that one girl who’s a BNF for being in love with jabba the hutt and drawing tons of uncomfortable attractive art of him. icons of members of the golden trio with song lyrics in white block text at the bottom and a color filter and maybe flower crowns by the time we get to ESB. i could go on forever

[boyoshock]

I think something a lot of yall might not know about the Luke/leia vs Han/leia grand ship war of the 80s was that Luke and leia actually weren't even supposed to be siblings until production of the very last film. Nobody making the movies could make up their mind about it. That's why she has her own family (when was the last time you heard of an adopted princess) and is narratively unrelated (no pun intended) to darth Vader in the first two films and kisses Luke in tesb lol

[boyoshock]

That theory where Rey is actually a kenobi and Luke is like “it’s time to meet your grandfather” and they walk dramatically into the Jedi temple and obi-wan’s ghost is glistening and shirtless and working out in front of a mirror. “master this is your granddaughter” “shit luke no warning or anything mate??” and he immediately turns back into old man ben

[boyoshock]

listen to me. obi-wan is the best character in any of the movies. he never did a single thing wrong and his beard was nice. make his ghost in episode 8 ewan mcgregor who's shirtless and flexing a lot.

[boyoshock]

you may ask yourself "why the hell would padme ever have fallen for anakin he's a greasy teenager from r/redpill" but get this He had a hot anime facial scar

[boyoshock]

idk anything about the evil guys but wasnt there a "two at a time" rule with the sith so does that not apply anymore if theyre dead

it was basically that the only sith that could exist at one time were a master and an apprentice. the apprentice became a master by killing his master and taking a new apprentice. palpatine had a lot of apprentices cos they kept dying: darth maul, count dooku, anakin, maybe others before. but when anakin killed his master and died became good before taking an apprentice, the lineage was broken. so there can still be dark side users but they cant be trained sith because there arent any sith left to train them.

i guess theoretically somebody’s apprentice couldve survived and just named themselves a master and restarted the order, but the original lineage of master to apprentice ended with anakin