Her hands had stopped shaking, easier when she was out of the room, away from Dorcas, and felt like she had a mission to accomplish. Selfish as it was, Lily had been the tiniest bit relieved - though that did nothing to remove her anger - to hear it had been Lucius, not Bellatrix, who had hurt Dorcas. Marlene’s words had rung loudly in her ears since the moment she’d heard Dorcas was injured. Her fault. Thank Merlin it wasn’t.
The biggest relief, of course, had been finding Dorcas alive and stable. Lily was determined to ensure she stayed that way, looking for whatever Healer had initially conducted the examination. Lily needed to inform her that she’d be taking over the patient now. It might have been better to wait for the Healer to return to the room, but Lily had also promised to send a message back to Dumbledore, updating him on Dorcas’ status. She entered the Staff Room now to do so, looking for a private corner where a message could go unnoticed. As usual, Healers were gathered together in urgent looking circles, murmuring to each other. For once Lily paid little attention to them or their frowns, focused on getting a report in to the Professor. He had been equally concerned about Dorcas, she knew but could hardly come himself without causing suspicion. It must be difficult, she mused, to send off so many young people, students he’d looked after since they were children, out to fight battles.
A faint wave of the discussion in the room surrounded her, Lily not paying much attention. Terrible as it was to say, she didn’t give a damn about a single other patient in the hospital right now. Their tragedies would have to remain their own.
“They’ve put Mr. Potter in with that Auror girl.” Lily stopped cold, her message forgotten. Fleamont Potter. Both James’ parents were so old, how many times had she heard him worry about them? If it was serious, which it must be, in with Dorcas, how could she tell him?
She almost missed the other Healer’s response. “Has anyone told his parents? Poor things, they adore that boy.” The smart thing might have been to gather more information, ask questions. She had already misunderstood them once, after all. But Lily had stopped thinking entirely. Her mind wasn’t working, her heart might not have been working quite right either, it certainly felt unstable. Instinct took over, racing back to Dorcas’ room. Before she hadn’t noticed a person in it aside from her friend. This time her eyes only sought James, the reassurance he was alive, rushing to his bedside. She couldn’t have said if anyone else was in the room. James’ face was covered in blood and bruises, something she should be used to seeing as a Healer. But they were strangers. On his face, where she knew the features so well, each one stood out as all wrong.
“Potter, what have you done to yourself this time?” Alongside shaky words, her hand reached up to touch his cheek, gently so it wouldn't hurt, but she was thinking far more of herself and the contact she needed, to know he was alright.
James didn’t want to bother anyone-he technically didn’t attend the funeral. He just kept roaming the halls and once wine was out, he took a glass and drank it all at once. Deep down, even if he was supposed to be the most malicious-yet he considered himself most mischievousof everyone in the academy-he was afraid his powers would get out of control. Because it was the first time he felt that numb. He would be flooding with dreams or even worse fears to people, when he didn’t even intent that. He found himself around people he knew but didn’t bother to remember their names, talking about the value of Delphine to society. Yet, he was feeling like something was choking him. On his way to get another glass of wine, he bumbed onto someone. “Some years ago, we were training together...Now we are here....for no good reason”, he said, feeling a little sentimental and he started sipping from his second glass. “Sorry, though”, he mumbled, just remembering that he had bumped on them.
“James! James, where are -- hey!” Marlene broke off her one-woman search party for her best friend, in order to exclaim towards the Ravenclaw girl who’d just spilled some mysterious liquor down the front of her mother’s precious dress. Despite the short blonde’s shouts of protest, the greatly inebriated and bumbling girl staggered off into the throng of students. The teachers were on their way -- and there was no chance in hell Marlene was leaving James behind. With tear rimmed eyes -- whether it be from the sight of her newly stained dress or the stench of alcohol in the air, Marlene couldn’t tell you -- the Hufflepuff soon found her friend, demanding, “We need to leave,”
Hogwarts Express/Hogsmeade Station - 1 September 1977
As the train ride came to a close, Lily couldn’t say she wasn’t ready to get to school. Having something to occupy her mind would be welcome, she wouldn’t have to work so hard not to think about James Potter or to ignore the things Severus had said. She was Head Girl and that came with responsibilities, things she needed to do before they arrived. Responsibilities she knew she’d take the brunt of as James had no idea they existed.
Because of that, his compartment was her first stop. “Hullo boys,” she said as she stuck her head in, greeting Sirius before turning her attention to James. “Head Boy lesson one, getting first years off the train. Come on, Potter.”
James had been taking every spare moment (well, most of them—there was the chocolate frogs incident) to go over the handbook. If there was one thing he wanted to do this year, it was impress Lily and show her that he wasn’t such a slacker. He wasn’t doing well on that so far, but he’d felt his reasons were justified. Now that he had the time, though, he was trying to make the most of it.
He glanced up when she stuck her head in, exposing the dark bruises on his neck and his jawbone. “Yeah, sure,” he agreed and set the handbook aside. It took a second to assure Sirius that he was fine and wouldn’t keel over before he was allowed to get up. He shrugged his robes back on and followed Lily into the corridor, making no mention of his bruises. “So we direct them to the boats, right?”
The minute he looked up, Lily saw the bruises and her sharp intake of breath could hardly have gone unnoticed. She pressed her lips tightly together as he excused himself from Sirius, figuring the bruises were the reason for the up in protective glances and not wanting to cause any more of a scene.
All bets were off as he stepped out of the compartment, though. The door had barely closed behind him when she ignored his question and asked her own. “What the bloody hell happened?” Grabbing his arm to halt his steps and raising gentle fingers as if to touch him but instead hovering over the bruised skin.
It was nice of her to worry, but for as often as James had imagined her fretting over him, he’d never imagined himself feeling so bloody awful about it. It wasn’t even for anything manly. First, he’d fainted like a pansy, and then he’d lost a fight — the most pathetic fight of his life, at that. One punch and a couple of kicks. It was miserable.
"Nothing," he muttered. If she counted internal bleeding as nothing. "Rosier decked me. It’s not as bad as it looks. Marlene healed it."
She narrowed her eyes at him, dissatisfied with his answer but very sure that he didn’t want her to call him on it. Of course, when had Lily ever done anything James wanted her to. “That doesn’t make it any better, James.” It wasn’t as if she’d never seen him bruised before and she didn’t really want to focus on the fact that it did bother her now. “How did you even get in a fight with Rosier?”
He cast his eyes away from her and gave a slight shake of his head. What did it matter? She wouldn’t believe him. Nobody who knew his reputation would. “I was trying to be civil. Kid’s dangerous, though. Psycho. Wrong place at the wrong time, I guess. I tried to back away from it and he hit me. And obviously, I’m not in much of a state to defend myself right now.”
She knew she shouldn’t believe him, that the James Potter she’d spent six years getting to know would never have been able to say that with a straight face. This James, though, the one she’d been able to glimpse even just on the train ride, was different somehow. “Rosier’s a prat,” she said finally, a sigh in her voice. “Are you sure you’re alright, though? I can handle the First Years if you need.”
James shook his head. “No. I can handle it. I’ve eaten a little and gotten sleep, and I’ll be okay. You shouldn’t have to start the year compensating for the idiot Dumbledore mistakenly stuck you with,” he told her, frowning. He felt useless, and he’d be damned if he kept feeling that way. “I can do this, Lily. All of it. I just need a chance.”
He was earnest as he spoke, that much he could tell. It wasn’t something she had seen often but apparently, when James put his mind to it, he meant something. And so after a moment of considering his words, she nodded. “Alright then.” She turned to make her way to the front of the train but stopped before taking much of a step. “I don’t think Dumbledore made a mistake,” she said, turning back to look at him. “I think he has an odd sense of humor, but I don’t think it was a mistake.”
James was thrilled he’d shown how serious he was about this, and started after her. He pulled up short when he stopped, then gaped at her. “Sorry, did I hear that right? Why wouldn’t you think he made a mistake? I’m kind of useless when it comes to rules.” At least, he had been in the past.
She couldn’t help but smirk at the almost dumbfounded look on his face as she said she didn’t think his being Head Boy was a mistake. “You’re actually very good with rules,” she pointed out. “I’ve spent two years trying to figure out how you can break them so well and not spend more time in detention. If only you used your powers for good instead of evil.”
He had to laugh at that, constantly amazed by the way her mind worked. So she did recognize his genius, then. “Only good from here on out,” he promised before wincing. “Ah, mostly good from here on out,” he amended with a sheepish grin. “Just in case, you know?”
She raised an eyebrow at the caveat. “At least try not to make my job any harder by giving the Head Boy detention?” she asked with a stifled laugh. She knew well what she was asking but she also knew you couldn’t ask the world of James Potter. At least not in the first month.
"I’ll try not cause that," he laughed and followed her to the front of the train. "Okay, so this is just like I thought, right?" He asked as he walked after her. "We just direct them to the boats?"
She jumped off the last step of the train, glad to finally be on solid ground and back at school. As messy as things were here, it was still better than being isolated the way she’d felt all summer. “Hagrid really does most of the work,” she says, having seen it all happen as a prefect. “We just need to make sure they all get into the boats and then check the train to make sure no one has fallen behind. We’ll be the last ones up to the castle.”
"Sounds easy enough." He hoped, although he was nervous about doing this. It was his first real act as Head Boy, since he hadn’t really taken care of the prefect meeting. He perked up at the last sentence, trying not to grin. Last ones to the castle, eh? "So, we’ll take our own carriage up, then?" He guessed, trying to sound casual about it.
"It is," she said, waiting for the students to begin streaming out of the train and for the chaos to begin. She should have known the reaction her words would elicit but she’d gotten caught up in the earnest and somber James she’d seen so far today and this had her rolling her eyes, though with more of a smile than normal. "I can arrange for two carriages if you’d prefer," she said with a bit of smugness in her voice.
"Excuse you. My ego is not nearly as inflated as it usually is. There will be plenty of room for it and the two of us in one carriage," he rolled his eyes, but grinned over her.
The doors of the train began to open and James took a deep breath, straightening the badge on his robes. So it began. He helped Lily and Hagrid wrangle the first years, taking most of his direction from observing Lily. He helped each of the first years load into the boats before the were sent off across the lake. He grinned as he stepped back and admired his handiwork. Not half bad for his first task.
"Mhmm," she murmured, returning his grin before she moved to direct the first students to leave the train. Hagrid did indeed do most of the work, calling the first years and getting attention. Lily, with James’ help, directed any of the first years who still seemed confused, assuring the frightened ones that they would be very safe in the boats. As the chaos began to die down, she looked over the stragglers to find James, looking proud. Her smile grew as she walked down. "Maybe you won’t drag me too far down, Potter," she said smiling.
He glanced over as the chaos began to die down and couldn’t help but notice her look. It was intriguing, to say the least. He didn’t think he’d ever seen it from her before. “No? I should hope not,” he laughed and raked a hand through his hair, a nervous habit if ever he’d had one. “Think I fooled them into thinking I’m an authority figure?”
"The first years who have never heard of you before? I think you managed," she teased. Joking aside, though, he had done a better job than Lily might have thought he would, given her experience with him in the past. "Now if we can just get you through the students who’ve watched you make Prefects cry for six years…." She couldn’t say that without a small chuckle, watching the last of the students pile into carriages and taking that as a cue to head for the train.
He was all too happy to walk back with her, though he was starting to get hungry again. Not too much longer, and they’d be at the castle. “Oh, come off it,” he laughed as he walked beside her. “I never made the prefects cry.”
She looked over her shoulder as she pulled herself up into the train, eager to do a final check before heading up to the castle and the feast. “You didn’t hear the hufflepuff prefect when you and Sirius charmed all the brooms to fly themselves after you beat Slytherin last term,” she said with a conspiratorial smile. A prank they’d never gotten caught at but one she was reasonably certain they were responsible for.
He knew exactly what she was trying to do, but he would never admit to that prank. It was genius and they’d pulled it off beautifully, but he would never admit to it. “Now why would you assume that was me?” He asked as he stepped in after her and began checking compartments on one side of the corridor while she checked the others. “It’s far more likely that was the Prewett twins.”
She could practically hear the false innocence in his voice and it took a great deal of effort on her part not to roll her eyes at the tone. “The twins, right,” she said as she checked the compartments and passed into the next car. The twins who had been in the detention at the time, much to their chagrin. “I’ve never seen two boys who wished harder they had been responsible for a prank.”
He laughed as he opened the doors for her and let her pass through first. “Ah, I am fond of those two,” he sighed wistfully and grinned as he followed her along the next car, repeating the checks they’d performed in the first one. “Come on. You have to admit some of my pranks have been funny.”
"Thank you," she said thoughtlessly as he held the door for her, laughing as he did. "I will admit no such thing," she said with a teasing stubbornness. "But I did think whoever was behind the broom thing was very very clever."
"Ah, but see, I know what you’re doing," he said as he walked along behind her. "You’re trying to make me think you really enjoyed it so I’ll admit I was the mastermind behind it—which, of course, I wasn’t. You’re not gonna get me to fall for that."
"You don’t need to admit it," she said with a shrug, nearing the end of the train. "It’s not as if you can get detention for it now. I have enough work to do without punishing the Head Boy on the first night back." She paused before she entered the last compartment. "Besides, I know it was you." She added, sticking her tongue at him out before moving forward.
"Are you saying that I am completely immune to detention for the rest of the night?" He grinned at that before the rest of her words hit. His mouth dropped open in surprise and he laughed as he followed her. "That is the most childish thing I have ever seen you do," he informed, beaming. She was never going to live that one down.
The grin on his face was one that had made prefects before her very nervous. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Potter. I said I wouldn’t give you detention for something you may or may not have done in fifth year,” she clarified. The smile he gave her and the surprised laugh, made her far more pleased that she would like to admit. “Yes well, I thought it would help me fit in well with present company,” she teased.
"Ah, well that’s not nearly as fun," he pouted at her as they headed into the next car. He held the door for her yet again and trailed behind her. He was pleased the conversation was going so well for a change. He didn’t think he’d ever see the day when Lily reacted to him in such a positive manner. "Excuse you. I am offended," he grinned at her last statement. "You make me sound so childish."
"As if you won’t try and push your luck anyway," she pointed out with exasperation as he pouted at her. She never imagined she could be so at ease with James Potter. The surprise was pleasant, especially considering the amount of time they would spend together this year. "If the shoe fits, Potter."
"Now you’re just being hurtful," he huffed, though his tone was still light and teasing as he bounced along after her. "You should really find a way to make it up to me, I think."
They’d reached the end of the train now, and she leaned now against the door of the last compartment, turning around to face him as she put on a face of teasing sympathy. “You poor thing,” she said, biting her lip to keep from chuckling. “Wasn’t not giving you detention enough?”
He grinned over at her and shook his head. “Giving me detention means giving yourself more work, so you’re ultimately just helping yourself out if you don’t do that. Which isn’t doing me any favors, see?” He explained with a shrug.
"Ah, I see," she said, crossing her arms loosely in front of her chest. "What do you suggest, then?" She punctuated the words with a raise of her eyebrow, her amusement lacing her tone.
"Well. The old me would have suggested a kiss, but since we’ve already got that out of the way…" He pursed his lips while he pondered. "Hmm. What could you do to make it up to me?" He murmured, tapping his chin. He was having fun with the amount of power the decision gave him, but he struggled to settle on something she wouldn’t hex him for. "Sit with me at the feast?" He finally decided.
As he mentioned the kiss, she felt her cheeks and the tip of her nose heat up with the pink she was sure was coloring them and she broke their gaze for a moment to hide the blush. Only when her face had cooled did she look back up. “That doesn’t sound too painful,” she said with consideration. “I suppose Marlene can make due without me for one night.”
He noticed the blushing and tried not to grin too much at the sight of it. She’d liked it. He knew she had. But she wasn’t ready to admit it yet, and he wasn’t going to force her. She’d come around. “Well, Marlene can sit with Sirius anyway.” It’d be like a group date.
She was glad he didn’t call her out on her embarrassment. The old James Potter would never have let her live it down and had he mentioned it, it would have ended this conversation abruptly. “Well, since it’s all settled then, we should probably head up to the feast.” They’d dawdles in the train long enough and though she wasn’t as eager for their interaction to include other people as she normally was, she had no interest in fueling the gossip mongers any more. Them or his ego.
"Right you are," he nodded and headed to the nearest exit, all thoughts of her embarrassment gone. He didn’t want to dwell on it now that he knew she was starting to realize what he already had. It would be a long while before she admitted to all of it, he assumed. He’d just try to stand back and let it flow as naturally as possible.
He held open the door for her and gave a ridiculous bow. “After you, Head Girl,” he grinned.
