#january thoughts

[divinediva]

Married to my passions and hobbies and curiosities

[notbornwithit]

Today I turned 34 years old. I have many things to be grateful for. I am blessed with family and friends and so much love.

But I feel this inescapable dread. My chest is tight and heavy after watching footage of yet another person being murdered.

To look away feels disrespectful. To pretend it's not happening feels irresponsible. To find joy in between the horror feels wrong but I have to try.

I will let myself cry.

And I will let love in.

The only way through the unforseeable future is to keep letting love find it's way in.

[notbornwithit]

A mild January & more deer friends.

[divinediva]

seeing pieces of your parents in you as you age is as fascinating as it is heartbreaking. you wonder about them and how they were at your age. you see pieces of them alive in you. those you know about and those you don’t. you realize you’re getting a glimpse of that past as you move forward. it’s wild actually.

[a-confusedwriter]

I hope one day, preferably in a cold and rainy afternoon, we will meet again. We will sit inside a coffee shop and talk about the adventures that we have partaken without each other. Reminiscing about both the good times and the bad. Maybe during that day, as the rain stops pouring and rays of sunshine hit the window pane of the coffee shop, I will be able to tell you that I still feel the same way. I hope the universe will cooperate and make you stay here, by my side, once again.

lm // words left unspoken # 6

[a-confusedwriter]

To the person who I will love in the future: I apologize in advance. There will be days where you will not understand me. There will be days where I will hold you, ever so gently and delicately, that you'll fall asleep in my arms. But there will be days where I will be cold and distant that it will make you wonder if I still have feelings for you. I am my own disaster, destruction, and peril. You will notice my scars from all the battles that I have fought with life and myself. You will see the imperfections that I kept hidden behind similes and metaphors. You will see the not-so-great side of me but I hope you will still stay. I hope you will find beauty behind the mess. I hope you will find peace in the storms. I hope you find the courage to love me despite it all.  I will let my walls down for you. I will bear all my secrets to you. And I will love you, unconditionally.

lm // an open letter to the person I will love.

[a-confusedwriter]

I think it has always been having a sense of familiarity. We go on with our lives wanting to do and experience different things but we'll always have that one moment of thought; will it feel the same? We crave for something new yet we always run back towards something that is familiar to us. A sense of "I know this", "I have experienced this", "so I'll be okay".

lm // familiarity 

[a-confusedwriter]

And here I am running and walking aimlessly but  I always somehow take the path that leads me back to you.

lm // not quite forgotten