#jarfish

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#jarfish

[teletextart]

Owl by Jarfishing

Currently showing at the Teletext50 exhibition on Yle Teksti-TV, Finland. Info: https://teletextart.co.uk/teletext50-art-exhibition-on-yle-text-in-finland-7-october-11-november-2024

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Lately I've Been Losing Sleep || Drabble

To say that this day hadn't gone well would have been a serious understatement. With the sound of the door slamming still echoing behind Lily and Megan and the yank of Marlene's curtains around her bed, Doe was left staring uncomfortably across the room at Mary. Maybe she'd actually be able to sleep now with the exhaustion finally pressing in on her. And with luck, she'd actually be able to close her eyes and block out everything that had just happened between her friends.

  She climbed back off her bed and walked down to kick open her trunk, grimacing as the pain shot up through her foot. The lid popped open and her eyes landed on something that put that pain to shame. Folded neatly on top of the rest of her belongings was Matt's old Ravenclaw jersey. He must have snuck it in while helping her pack yesterday afternoon before... before everything that had happened.

  She bent down to pick it up, fingers running against the fabric as she lifted it in her hands. A tiny slip of paper fell out of the folded cloth and she grabbed it.

  "Now you don't have to worry about stealing it. It's yours. - M.J."

  If she thought she was done crying before, she was severely mistaken as the tears quickly came running down her face. Without even bothering to pull her pyjamas from the trunk or change out of the clothes she'd been wearing all day, she climbed back into bed and tugged the curtains shut. She couldn't bring herself to put it on so she just held it to her, Matt's stupid blue jersey that still smelled like him and if she closed her eyes she could hear him laughing at her for trying to steal it from his wardrobe again. She thought about throwing it away or at least shoving it back down into the corner of her trunk where she wouldn't have to see it but she couldn't pretend that having something of his wasn't still soothing to her, even with the accompanying heartbreak. And with the jersey held tightly in her hands and the scent of Matt somehow surrounding her again, she was finally able to fall asleep. 

[dorkfishmeadowes-blog-blog-blog]

I want to believe in more than you and me || Drabble

So? I might see a future with you. I may not want it to be right this second, but it’s there. C’mon, love, we’ll have been dating for a year in a couple weeks, I think we’re passed the “Are we a serious couple” conversation. Unless you want to have it, in which… I think we’re a serious couple. There, conversation had.

  The words had jumped off the page at her and now she couldn't get them out of her head. It wasn't that she hadn't thought of the idea before and she'd be lying if she said she didn't like the idea. But something was off. Maybe it was the sight of Megan curled up on the couch beside her with her eyes glazed over as the TV played the evening news, but Doe couldn't help feeling like a heavy stone had fallen in the pit of her stomach.

Doe hadn't heard her dad get up from his recliner but she could hear him now talking in the kitchen with her mum, the soft rumble of their voices and their laughter echoing through the dining room and out to where she sat on the couch. They were happy, they'd always been that way. It wasn't that Doe had never had an example of happiness to look to. But they were so much older and wiser and really how convenient for her to forget at that moment that they had gotten married straight out of Hogwarts too. The sound of the reporter on the news drew her attention and she looked at the television after a quick glance at Megan to make sure her mate wasn't noticing any of this. Bad news, more bad news, break-ins, assaults, murders, a policeman killed in the line of duty. It was so hard to tell if she was watching the muggle news or hearing a recitation of the Daily Prophet anymore. The danger was everywhere, the worry that anyone could be hurt or lost in the blink of an eye; lives cut short and lives ruined for those left behind.

  The parchment had suddenly become a heavy weight in her hands and she felt a sting as it slipped between her fingers, leaving a bright streak of red across her hand. Paper cut, that's all, she thought to herself.

  Sometimes I worry you forget who you are yourself, but I don’t mind reminding you. Part of my job as your boyfriend.

He was taking on too much, for her, for Megan and John, for his family. And Doe knew he had barely had time to mourn the loss of one of his best mates. She didn't know how he was even getting through the day, let alone a day packed with training and caring about everyone else around him. He'd get himself killed if he wasn't careful.

Doe gasped, never having said that aloud or even thought it to herself. He could die. He could die. Will died. Her dad nearly died in June. Matt....

She couldn't stand by and watch this happen. He had so much to live for, and so many opportunities and all that Doe was doing was holding him back. She had anchored herself to him in an attempt to keep herself strong when he was struggling just as much. He needed freedom too, and a chance to live his life before somebody did to him what they'd done to Will. He needed the freedom to be without her and see everything that he was missing by staying with her.

He saw a future with her and she wanted that too, more than anything. But she wanted him to have a future, and she wasn't sure that keeping him to herself was the way to make sure he had that.

[dorkfishmeadowes-blog-blog-blog]

Rub a Dub Dub, Jarfish in the Tub || Drabble

Doe had the day off work and had spent most of the afternoon curled up on the couch with a book she'd brought home from the shop the previous day. It had been the perfect day- not once had she felt the crushing sadness of the past few months nor the stress of dealing with what the future might hold. And the bacon sandwich she'd fixed for herself after Matt kissed her goodbye for another day at work had been nearly divine.

  The light in the living room had changed at some point without her noticing as her mind drifted from the words on the page in front of her to the quiet stillness of slumber, and the book she'd been reading slipped out of her hand onto the cushion beside her as she stretched her legs out and curled against the back of the sofa with a sigh. She didn't hear the soft pop from outside the house, nor the click of the door opening and closing in the other room. She only noticed she wasn't alone anymore when she heard the faint chuckle echo somewhere above her head and felt the dip of the cushion beneath her as Matt's hand ran down her bare arm. She smiled, lips tugging against her still peacefully sleeping face as he leaned down to kiss her.

Doe giggled, now wide awake as she squirmed under the attention, the ticklish feeling moving further and further up until he was kissing the side of her neck and his body had moved atop hers. "And you're cute when you're sleeping," he whispered beside her ear as he shifted so that they lay beside each other on the sofa, the both of them very nearly ready to topple off the edge. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and nuzzled against her neck and Doe let out a sound halfway between a giggle and a squeal as she tried to push him away again.

  "Merlin, Matt. Ugh, you're all sweaty!" Her words were mixed with laughter and he couldn't help laughing the same as he held her even more tightly. "What did you do? Run a marathon?"

  "Close. Drills and loads of them. Tired, Dorcas." His words were punctuated with more kisses. "Don't shove me, I'm just laying here."

  She raised a brow at him, biting her lip to keep from laughing again. Slowly, she pushed herself upright, inadvertently or perhaps intentionally knocking him sideways until he tumbled off the side of the couch with a loud "oompf." She stepped over him and smirked down as she held out both her hands. "Come on, you smelly moose." She tugged with her whole body weight until he finally gave in and helped push himself off the ground to follow behind her as she moved down the hallway.

  "You're mean, Meadowes." She could hear the pout in his voice and would've laughed at him if she wasn't already planning something.

  "Oh, am I? We'll see about that." She opened the bathroom door and pulled him inside, turning back to look at him with a smirk before she reached down to pull her shirt over her head. It took him less than a second to see what she was getting at, but her hands were already working on the buttons of his shirt and he laughed when she finally, greedily, shoved it from his shoulders.

  "Knew I liked you for a reason," he said, pulling her close for a rough kiss as her hands moved lower to undo his belt and zipper, pushing the pants from his waist. The dull clang of the metal hitting the tile floor echoed in the tiny space but neither of them heard it.

  Matt had wrapped his arms around her, his hands running down her back before he squeezed her arse and lifted her up against his body, Doe's legs wrapping tightly around his nearly naked waist while he backed her up against the wall of the bathroom. She ran her hands along his shoulders, one hand working its way up into his hair where she ran her nails along his scalp and tugged lightly at his hair. She let out a gasp as shivers ran down her body with the feel of his stubbly face making its way down her neck and across her collarbone.

  Doe hadn't even noticed his grip on her had change but suddenly she felt his hand tugging at the back of her bra before coming undone. He pulled the fabric from her arms and leaned down to kiss along the top of her breasts. Her head fell back against the wall, hand still clinging to him as she nearly held his lips to her body while her hips gave an automatic twitch against his. She could feel his growing hard on and desperately wanted more, grinding her hips indecently against his body.

  "Doe," he groaned against her neck, sucking just hard enough on the skin that it might bruise faintly. He lessened his grip on her body, letting her feet slide back to the floor but his hands were just as quickly back on the elastic waistband of the pyjama shorts she'd never changed out of that day. He pushed them quickly from her hips, dragging her knickers down with them so that she was completely bare in front of him.

  "You're looking a little sweaty yourself, Meadowes." His voice came out in a low growl as he dragged his fingers between the valley between her breasts, down her stomach and between her legs, a smirk on his face all the while. He leaned down to kiss her roughly again as he rubbed his hand along her slit, two fingers slipping inside to tease her body that was practically shaking with want. Doe let out a moan as her eyes shut of their own accord, one hand reaching out to hold onto Matt's arm, the other pathetically reaching behind her to hold on to the wall. With a will she wasn't sure she really possessed, Doe pulled in a deep breath and pushed Matt away, though her body ached with the need to be touched by him again.

  "Take off the pants, Jarvis," she ordered before stepping aside without another look back at his face that bore an expression half of shock and half amusement. She pulled back the glass shower door and stepped in, taking a moment to pull in another calming breath as she reached out and fumbled with the shower knob, turning on the water and letting it warm up, the droplets beginning to cascade down her body. It was a moment later that Matt joined her in the shower, his arm wrapping around her waist from behind as he bent down to kiss along her shoulder, one hand slipping lower and lower till it reached its destination between her legs. Doe let out another moan of pleasure before spinning around in his arms. There was absolutely no denying how aroused the both of them were and moments after Doe had wrapped her arms around Matt's neck to pull him down for a kiss, he'd lifted her clear off the ground and backed up so that her back was pressed against the tile wall just out of reach of the shower. She wrapped her legs around his waist and Matt moved his hand between their bodies to line himself up with her before swiftly thrusting his cock into her, eliciting a breathy moan from Doe's lips.

  "Oh, Merlin." Doe's voice came out in a low whisper, her head falling back against the wall while the water slowly fell behind them. Her hands that had been wrapped around Matt's neck gripped tightly at his shoulders before she ran one hand down his back, nails pressing deep against his skin as he set a steady rhythm between them. The steaming shower nearly blocked out the low hum of their moans, the steady sound of their bodies colliding against each other and the faint squeak of Doe's back slipping against the wall. She leaned forward enough to capture his lips in hers and kissed him roughly, hungrily; hands tugging at his hair as the pair of them pushed each other further and further to the brink.

  Matt moved his lips from hers and down to her shoulder where his teeth bit lightly at the skin. Doe moaned at the feeling, biting her own lip to keep from gasping. "Matt, please," she finally managed to utter breathlessly. "More. I need..." But she never finished because Matt suddenly slammed even harder into her, her legs trembling around his body with the effort of supporting herself.

  "Fuck." He groaned, the sound lost against her skin and his hands gripped even more tightly against her waist as he felt her walls tightening around his cock. He heard her whimpering with the effort of not letting herself come and he lifted his head to kiss her hard against the lips as she finally let herself come undone. Her fingers dug into his shoulder and pulled against his scalp and he could feel her legs going slack around his waist and he thrust into her faster, harder, pushing her orgasm further and further as he finally came with her. 

  Their bodies slowed and the sound of the water falling against the tiles around them, but all that they could focus on right then was each other and the way their hearts were racing and breathing rushed and heavy. Matt leaned his forehead against hers while they caught their breath before gently releasing his hold on Doe and letting her back down on the ground. She smiled up at him cheekily, cheeks flushed pink from exertion and a little something more. They'd long lost the awkwardness that came with sex, but Doe still blushed around him, especially when it was something she'd initiated.

  Doe reached a hand up to run along his cheek. "You're still scratchy. And sweaty," she said softly, failing to keep her smile at bay as she broke out into laughter.

  "Mmhmm, and you love it," he hummed in amusement, smacking her arse lightly as she stepped to the side and let the stream of water fall soothingly down her body.

  "Well, it's just a good thing we're in the shower." She looked over her shoulder at him, a cheeky grin spreading from ear to ear. "You could use one."

  "Oh, that so?" He stepped up behind her, leaning down so that his lips were pressed close against her ear, the bristly beard tickling as he whispered against her. "I'm thinking there's something better we could be doing." And with that, he reached around her and turned off the shower before spinning her around and carrying her out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom. 

[dorkfishmeadowes-blog-blog-blog]

Submerged in Contradictions || Drabble

The silence in the house seemed to echo far more loudly than Megan's cries had done the previous week. Doe knew she ought to be grateful for the fact that Megan had finally emerged from her room and had stopped crying for small amounts of time. More than that, she was showing signs of life and awareness that had been lacking for two weeks. She should've smiled, should've breathed a sigh of relief, but she couldn't do either of those things and once again she let the guilt and selfishness creep over her for letting something so stupid bother her when she was really the lucky one.

Dropping her head to rest on her knees, Doe hugged herself tightly hoping that it would do the trick in not making her feel so alone. She'd done everything she could think of to help Megan, and it's not like she expected a thank you card for it. She didn't need thanks and she didn't want it. But she watched Megan fall apart in front of her eyes- she'd been there the moment it started and she hadn't walked away since then. But it wasn't Doe that could do anything. It wasn't Doe that Megan wanted. It wasn't Doe that she needed. And though she would've given anything to bring Will back, to erase the guilt she still felt knowing she wanted Will to go off for the sake of protecting Matt. But even aside from that... Doe felt worthless. She couldn't do anything to fix anything for anybody and the only person who seemed able to help Megan anymore was John. And that hurt. She didn't hold it against either of them, she knew she would want Matt there beside her if anything had happened to her, but still, the feeling of not being good enough wasn't one she could easily stomach right then, not when she was doing literally everything in her power to help someone who didn't want any of it.

  Looking up at the faint sounds of voices, Doe saw a couple walking along the beach in the distance and the sight hurt her far more than she ever would've expected, more than she wanted to admit. Something about the way things had been between herself and Matt since the previous week was still digging deeply at her heart. Yes, they'd resolved the issue but Doe couldn't pretend she wasn't still hurt, that she wasn't still ashamed of the entire thing. But even worse was the realization that she didn't know how to be with Matt anymore. She wanted to be strong for him. She wanted to comfort him because she could see that he was hurting too, despite how he tried to hold it together for Megan. She wanted him to be happy, to see him smile and to hear his laugh and to feel his arms wrap tightly around her. But none of these things had happened in two weeks and every day that passed was another day that Doe worried things were crumbling beyond a point of repair.

  If she could take back her stupid actions, she would, oh, what wouldn't she give to fix that. But it was more than that, and Doe was only beginning to see what was happening. She was scared for him and for the both of them, terrified that he would die too soon just like Will and he would never have the chance to live his life. She couldn't let that happen, she couldn't let him miss his life simply because she wanted him by her side. The thought that came to her next hit her with a shock and she jolted up, her eyes staring out into the darkening sky in complete surprise and absolute horror. Maybe the best thing- maybe the only thing that she could do for Matt was to let him go. 

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Shiver, Shawn Desman

Inspired by [x]

He's thinking about Doe's eyes as she stares at him with a little smirk from the pillows beside him. 

And he's thinking of the way her hand is so much smaller than his, but it fits so perfectly in his. 

He's thinking about her lips on his shoulder and her hands in his hair and about how warm her body is but the way her toes are so cold when she curls up next to him desperate to wrap their bodies together because she loves him and he makes her warm.

And he's thinking about the way her hair falls around them when she leans over him to kiss him and it brushes against his face and he shivers.

He's thinking about the way her voice sounds when she whispers his name and how soft her skin is as he runs his fingers down her bare back and she shivers.

He's thinking about the way her heartbeat races; it echoes his own and he can feel it against his chest as he holds her close.

[dorkfishmeadowes-blog-blog-blog]

Little Lion Girl || Jarfish Drabble

It had been eight hours since Doe had hugged her parents for the last time and said goodbye to them on the train platform in London. Eight long hours of meeting new people, hearing strange and unexpected things, fighting off the nerves and fears of not fitting in and not measuring up to all the stories she'd heard older students telling. But she'd made friends and despite an internal debate on which house she ought to be sorted into, she found herself slipping into one of the welcoming benches at the Gryffindor table, the same house that her mother had called home when she was at Hogwarts. And after finally making it up to her dorm after the feast, she suddenly found herself overwhelmed by the people around her, all of them swapping stories about Hogwarts and their families at home, passing sweets around as loud laughter echoed through the common room.

Now, Doe was beyond thrilled to have found herself in Gryffindor. But at that moment, it was the last place that she felt like she belonged. She couldn't go to bed yet, it was far too early for that, but she felt suddenly claustrophic in the cramped room and with an unexpected determination, she got up from where she'd been sitting awkwardly with some of her new dormmates and strode toward the portrait hole. She hadn't realized she'd been holding a nervous breath until she finally released it when she hit the peacefully quiet corridor.

Pausing to lean against the cool stone wall, Doe looked down the hall, then back to the portrait of the Fat Lady, only to find the portrait empty. She was gone and now Doe had no choice but to wait outside until she returned. She let out a deep sigh of frustration and lightly kicked her foot against the wall, trying to think of something she could do, but she barely knew any magic and she certainly hadn't performed any spells on her own as of yet. The idea that came next was quick but Doe couldn't help laugh at herself for having missed it before. The library! Her father had told her all about it and she'd been dying to see it anyway- why not go on a little adventure now, since she didn't really have another option?

Recounting the stories her parents had told her, Doe managed to make it through the castle relatively unscathed but with no idea of where she was. She was beginning to believe she'd wandered past the same series of statues twice now when she heard footsteps at the end of the corridor. She paused, wondering if it was best to stay quiet in case it was a teacher or an older and less than helpful student. One more look at the eery light flickering off the ugly gargoyle beside her made her mind up quite easily and she raced down the hallway in pursuit of the footsteps.

"Excuse me!" She shouted, the sound of her voice shocking her after the silence that had surrounded her for so long. She slowed as she grew closer to the boy that had been making his way down the corridor, coming to an awkward stop in front of him. "Hi. Umm... this might sound really really silly, but could you tell me how to get to the library from here? I thought I could find it myself but all I've managed is to walk past that ugly stone monster back there five times."

In the moment it took the boy to respond, Doe let herself observe him, noticing his height first, then his sandy brown hair that fell nearly to his eyes. She saw the blue crest on his shirt and hoped that everything she'd heard about Ravenclaws was right. "Of course, not a problem. I was headed there too, actually. Follow me." Doe smiled back at him as he motioned for her to follow him and she quickly scurried behind him, her pace not nearly as long as his.

"Thank you so much. I'm Dorcas by the way, Dorcas Meadowes. But you can call me Doe if you like."

"I'm Matt Jarvis. You can call me Matt." She laughed, smiling widely up at him as he looked sideways at her.

"You're in Ravenclaw." She blushed faintly when he turned to look at her in surprise. "It's your tie. The blue is for Ravenclaw. My dad was in your house. The Sorting Hat nearly put me in there too but it changed its mind at the last minute."

"That's too bad. If we were in the same house, we could've come to the library together and you wouldn't have gotten lost."

"I wasn't lost." Doe countered quickly. "Well, not exactly. I was close, right?"

He smiled back at her, nodding his head with a tiny shrug. "Not too far off actually. It's just around here. Come on," he grabbed her hand and pulled her around the corner excitedly. Doe let out a giggle that stopped right in the middle as they rounded the corner and her eyes fell on the wide oak doors that stood open. She could see the tall bookshelves through the opening and suddenly she couldn't get inside fast enough.

"Was this what you were looking for?" Doe could hear the smile on his face as she stepped into the library, and thinking that he- like some of the mean boys in her own house- was going to make fun of her, she turned to him with a serious expression.

"There's nothing wrong with going to the library. I like to read." It took only a moment to realize that his smile was not one meant to tease, but one of sympathy and understanding.

"Aye, I agree. Nothing wrong with the library at all. 'Course I'm a Ravenclaw so it's kind of to be expected for me. Not such good luck for you, little lion." His face had split into a wide grin by this point.

"Oi! Shut up, tosser. I was barely a Gryffindor. I could be half Ravenclaw, really. Maybe I should've been one too, a dork like me might fit better there than with the rest of my house." She tugged at the wrists of her sweater, a little embarrassed at having admitted one of her greatest worries to this boy she'd only just met. She couldn't help trusting him though, something about the kindness in his face made it easy to do so.

They both turned to look behind them as the librarian shushed them with an angry glare. Matt turned back to look at Doe, but she was too busy looking down to see the sympathy on his face. "Come on, I'll show you around." He grabbed her hand again and pulled her down the long row of shelves, further and further from Madam Pince who kept shooting glances in their direction. He pulled her down a random aisle and the pair of them began browsing, their eyes running along the titles. Doe had already pushed aside the negative thought she'd uttered just moments ago, already wrapped up in the excitement of so many unread books. But Matt kept shooting her occasional glances and she wasn't quite blind to these.

"Have I got something on my face? What are you looking at?" She ran her hand across her cheeks, brushing her long hair back down her shoulders.

"What? No. No, you're perfect. Um, I mean... well, look. You snuck out of your dorm all on your own, determined to find the library even though you'd never been here before. I don't know, but that seems pretty brave to me. Brave in your own way, which might be a bit Ravenclaw-ish of you. But that doesn't mean you don't fit in Gryffindor. I think you might be surprised by how well you'll fit in your house."

She stared up at him, biting her lip as she absorbed his words. "You really think so?"

"I do." He nodded his head, a smile spreading across his face. "Come on, let's look at another aisle." He pulled her to the next row and it didn't take long to realize that they were in the section on flying and quidditch. Doe's smile quickly grew to mirror Matt's.

"Do you fly?" She asked as she pulled down a book at random, flipping through some pages before slipping it back on the shelf and pulling down another one.

"Yes, I love it! I think I'm going to try out for the house team this year. My brothers are on the team, and if I can play them at home, I should be able to do it here too." Doe's eyes went wide at the mention of his siblings and his confidence to try out for the team.

"Well good luck. I'm sure you'll make it."

"You've never seen me play, Doe."

"So. You seem like you'd be good at it. What do you want me to say, that you won't make it? I believe in you." She smiled encouragingly at him.

"Well thanks. That means a lot, actually. I'll let you know how it goes."

"Good, you better. That's what friends are for, right?"

His face faltered for just a moment as he looked at her in surprise. "Right. Friends. Come on," he pulled her hand down so that they could both sit on the ground, their backs to pressed against the shelf behind them. "I was hoping nobody had checked this out over the summer." He flashed the cover at her, Quidditch through the Ages. "You've read it, right?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Good, or I'd have to start reading it to you right now." He laughed loudly, covering his mouth quickly as the sound echoed through the library.

"Or you could do that anyways. I'll listen."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" She wasn’t sure how long they’d been in there, but she was starting to get more and more sleepy as her head drooped slightly till it was resting lightly on Matt’s shoulder. “Go ahead. I’m listening, I promise.”

“Lighten your life with a bit of Quidditch, yeah?” He said smirking, as he looked down at the page. “The Arrival of the Golden Snitch,” Matt started, smiling as he kept his voice down, his hand running down the ruined and old page as he began to read to the girl next to him. ”From the early 1100s, Snidget-hunting had been popular among many witches and wizards. The Golden Snidget is today a protected species, but at that time Golden Snidgets were common in northern Europe, though difficult to detect by Muggles because of their aptitude at hiding and their very great speed. The diminutive size of the Snidget, coupled with its remarkable agility in the air and talent at avoiding predators, merely added to the prestige of wizards who caught them. A twelfth-century tapestry preserved in the Museum of Quidditch shows a group setting out to catch a Snidget. In the first portion of the tapestry, some hunters carry nets, others use wan-” Matt pulled from his quiet reading to look at the girl next to him. She was sleeping, her small head drooping as she slept contently. Matt’s own eyes drooping from the heavy reading in the dim lighting, and he rested his head against hers, letting his eyes droop, as he sighed contently. “I’m glad we did this, Doe.” Matt muttered, as he drifted off to sleep too, the pair happily content with each other's presence in a way that would shape their lives in ways they would never be able to predict on this first night.