music begins
pairing ~ jaskier x f!reader
word count ~ 3.5k
summary ~ jaskier reminds you just how much you mean to him in the only way he knows how.
warnings ~ fluff, some angst, hurt/comfort, crying, discussion of general insecurity and body image issues, mention of reader wearing a skirt, slight witcher season 1 + 2 spoilers, mild language, mention of a height difference, reader gets jealous, self doubt, mention of 'drinks' though not explicitly stated as alcohol (and not drank by reader), mentions of men being drunk.
a/n ~ based off of this ask!! so thank you my lovely soft thought anon!! this went from a less than 100 word soft thought, into a drabble, into a one shot, i simply could not stop myself with soft jaskier. without further ado, i hope you all enjoy!! mwauh!!
You huffed, crossing your arms across your chest. He knew what he did, you knew that it was just part of his job, but that fact still didn't make things any less frustrating seeing girls all around the tavern throw themselves at him.
You tried to focus on him, it usually wasn't this difficult to keep your attention on the man singing loud enough to shake the hinges off the tavern doors, but with every turn of his coat and wink thrown into the audience, you felt your eyes wandering to the swooning women offering up coy smiles and whispering bashfully to their friends before returning their lewd gazes to Jaskier.
You hated it.
You could remember the day he had first stormed into your life like it had happened only yesterday.
Before Witchers and tossing coins and child surprises.
Before all that, he was yours.
"Thank you ladies and-" He was cut off by another drunken heckle and you watched how his mouth opened, preparing to respond to the man. He raised his fist, but something about him somehow told you that he wasn't the type to resort to violence in these situations. He stammered, swallowing thickly as he tried to think of something to say, and you waited patiently on the edge of your seat for his response. His hand fell to his side as he sighed, mumbling a hushed 'forget it' as he stomped past you.
The words left your lips faster than you could even process them yourself, "Don't listen to them."
You could hear how the floorboards underneath his feet wailed as he paused in his tracks, and you instantly wished you could pluck the words from the air.
You cringed at the sound of his footsteps returning to you, and reluctantly you finally mustered the courage to turn in your seat to face him.
His mouth was slightly agape as he took you in, eyes flickering up and down your form as he inched closer to you. "Come again?" He finally spoke, almost breathlessly, as if he were trying to catch his breath from your statement.
You swallowed, your hands fidgeting in your lap before you finally responded. "Don't listen to them," You gave a shy smile, trying to ignore the strange heat that crawled up your cheeks from his burning, blue gaze. "Closest thing they've heard to music is their Roosters in the morning." You sputtered, almost wincing at your awkward attempt at humor.
His hearty laugh warmed your heart unexpectedly, and you found yourself suddenly laughing with him. His laugh sounded like sunshine, and the fresh, sunny part of Spring, you felt your shoulders sagging in relief at the sound of it.
"At least someone with taste frequents this inn..." He spat jokingly, quickly sliding into the bench seat across from you in the corner booth you had settled yourself in before his performance. He unceremoniously slammed his Lute on the table, making you jump at the sound.
"Oh I- No, I work here." You mumbled, quickly raising the beige colored rag that had been tucked into the waistband of your skirt.
"What is a place like you doing with a girl like this?" He smirked, now resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he leaned forward on the table, as if to get a better look at you.
You let out a soft, amused hum, trying to thwart the unanticipated fluttering that had begun to bloom in the pit of your stomach. "I bet you say that to all the girls."
"Only to ones that speak to me-"
"Hey!" The sudden booming voice of the innkeeper had you both turning towards the bar. "Don't pay ya to socialize!" He called out, his frustrated grumbling audible from across the room.
"I'm sorry I-"
"Yeah, no, I'd better get going-"
You clumsily stumbled over each others farewells, exchanging uncomfortable chuckles before you finally gathered yourselves.
"I thought you sang wonderfully," You smiled, untucking the rag from your skirt as you leaned over a nearby table, mindlessly wiping it down. "And it was very nice to meet you"
"Likewise..." You could sense an unfamiliar sort of tension radiating between the two of you. It was a magnetic sort of warmth that kept pulling you towards each other, making it so neither one of you wanted to initiate a goodbye.
"It's been a pleasure" He added, but before you could respond, a loud, metallic clash broke you from your thoughts.
You closed your eyes, an exasperated sigh falling from your lips, "I'm sorry" You winced apologetically, gathering the few pewter mugs that had been left on the table into your arms.
"Get the bard out!" The man behind the bar finally shouted, loud enough to even wake the sleeping man who had been resting his head on the edge of the bar. "He's stayed his welcome!"
"I do believe that is my cue" He grinned cheerfully, grabbing his Lute from the table behind him and reluctantly turning from you.
You smiled as he walked off, you couldn't remember the last time you had experienced a conversation with someone that consisted more of drunken grunts or orders to clear the tables faster.
"Your name!" You heard a shout from the door, and you lifted your head to see what the ruckus was about, you weren't shocked to see who it was. "I never got your name!"
"Fuck off!" Another jeer came from your employer behind you, though the man was still insisted.
You called out your name over the suddenly groaning crowd, expressing their discontent with all the shouting and the bard's still-lingering presence.
You could hear his contented hum as he looked at you, "Music" he muttered, before finally exiting the tavern.
You knew of the exceptions of his occupation, you were no stranger to the ever-revolving group of musicians and singers that found themselves stumbling through the battered entryway of the inn.
Though something deep inside you told you that it would be different this time.
Unlike all the other boozing men that stumbled into the tavern in the small hours of the night with a lute in their hand, shouting nonsense at anyone who would listen, only to walk off unphased the next morning, never to return. Those men never even cared to tip you, even when they spilled their entire mug of ale across the floor, let alone ask for your name.
This one was different.
He'd be back.
Within only a matter of weeks, the two of you had settled into a comfortable routine. The village you had found yourself stuck in for the majority of your life had made a quite name for itself in the realm of monsters, so Witchers were not an uncommon sight in your tavern, though you couldn't say you had ever seen one bring along such a companion as Jaskier.
The taller man was almost completely silent, though it could be said that even the loudest gossip in town was fairly quiet in comparison to Jaskier. He didn't say much, only muttering a few 'thank you's' to you occasionally when you served the men their drinks after longer journeys.
You were only friends back then, even in the moments when it felt like so much more, you didn't want to sacrifice what you had for something that seemed so destined to fail.
Between his own unpredictability and unusual travelling schedule, you weren't sure your heart would be able to manage, and even though you shared nothing but friendship at the time, it seemed to be no use even as your stomach dropped into a pit of dread when he told you how long he would be leaving you this time.
"You look as radiant as ever" His familiar, lilting tone almost had you closing your eyes to appreciate the full sound of his voice without any distraction.
"I bet you say that to all the girls" You smiled, eagerly settling your hands on either side of his collar.
"Only to ones that compliment my singing..."
You could hear the annoyed groans from the white haired man behind him, though you couldn't bring yourself to care.
When he looked at you, it was like he was really seeing you. Not just as someone who brought him his drinks or as someone to flirt with every time he came to town, he saw you.
When he stared at you, it always looked as if he were studying you, his gaze always flickering from your eyes to the tip of your nose, to the small wrinkles that gathered at the corners of your eyes. On some nights, on those late evenings when neither of you could bring yourselves to sneak back off into your rooms at the back of inn, when all that illuminated the empty tavern was a single flame lantern in between the two of you, you would swear that his gaze would quickly shift to your lips.
"I'll miss you" He finally sighed.
"You'll be back before you know it" You feigned a weak smile as your hands crept their way onto either side of his collar. "And I'll be right here."
"You always are."
"And I always will." You replied softly.
"You're too good for me..."
There was a pregnant pause between the two of you as you took each other in. Examining each others faces as if attempting to commit every feature to memory before you were robbed of each others presence once again.
"When I get back..." He whispered, his lips almost ghosting over the shell of your ear, "Come with me."
You quickly snapped your head back, your eyes wide with shock and confusion. "Jaskier, all I've ever done is..." You glanced around the gloomy, dimly lit tavern, "This... I don't know how useful I would be-"
"No, just you and me... I just-" His voice was frantic before he cut himself off with a sigh, gathering himself before continuing, "I just can't do... This," He hastily gestured between the two of you, "...Anymore. I can't leave you again... I won't... My heart can't bear it."
Ever since you could recall a single memory, it seemed you were planted immovably within the four walls of the tavern. You had been content with that life for so long, never wishing for anything more but a decent tip and pleasant customers. Though ever since you had first met Jaskier, with his stories of adventure and daring and life, you found yourself dreaming of a life beyond the walls you had once comfortably regarded as your own personal cut of the world. At night, instead of empty, barren nights in a drafty chamber, you dreamt of another life entirely.
One with him.
"Say you'll come with me." He sighed, exasperated, "Please." His brow furrowed as he begged, and you took a final look around the tavern.
The innkeeper grunted angrily from behind the bar, men littered the scattered tables, some with their heads on their plates, some staring mindlessly at the wall, yelling unintelligibly about the wrongs of the world. There was a couple sat in a booth in the corner, bickering about whatever nonsense that would surely end up with ale spilled all over the table.
People were always coming and going in the village searching for work, and what did you have to loose?
You smiled as a new air of certainty washed over you, and you were certain you had never been more sure of anything in all of your years.
"Yes."
The rest of your story was history, and although friends came and left you both along your journeys, you knew that you always had each other. Even when the world seemed to be crashing down around the both of you, you would only hold each others hand until you could finally see the sunlight once more.
And once you could both could feel the sun on your skin again and the dust finally settled, he still stood beside you.
Even if you wanted to, his presence was not one you could easily escape. You wondered how Geralt did it, with "Toss a Coin" being the drinking song of choice across the continent most nights. You knew that even if you tried, you'd never be fully rid of Jaskier, not that you'd ever want to be.
As you watched him sing and swagger around the tables and chairs before you, a strange mix of pride and something different brought a furious heat to your cheeks.
You were happy for him, really, you were. You considered it an honor to see him grow into the whirlwind individual he was now, drawing in crowds large enough that some patrons even needed to be turned away at the door.
Though you'd be lying if you didn't admit that on some nights, it began to feel as if you were being left behind. On evenings when he was kept late from coming home with you due to encore after encore requested by the women who just couldn't seem to get enough of him, he would indulge them of course, winking to you from the small raised platform before you finally head out for the night, it was hard to think you were anything more than one of his many female devotees.
You whimpered at the thought, the idea that one day he could pack up and disappear from your side haunted you. The image of Jaskier venturing off with another woman he had met at some local tavern just like he did with you, leaving you with nothing but the remains of once cherished memories, continuously nagged at you from the darkest corners of your mind.
There was a soft knock on the door frame of your bedroom, "Darling..?"
You hummed, content that he was finally home, even as your betraying imagination still continued to torment you with what if's.
"You left early" He sighed, slowly stepping behind you until his chest was almost entirely flush against your back, wrapping his arms gently around your waist and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
"Tired" You mumbled, still focusing on busying yourself on thoughtlessly turning and fluffing the pillows.
"What's wrong?" He whispered, his worry evident in his tone.
"Jaskier, I'm fine" You groaned, "I promise."
"Love, it's not that I don't believe you, it's only that I don't"
You let out an exasperated huff as you finally spun in his arms. "I promise" You hated how your voice wavered as you spoke. You were fine, truly, you were happy, all of his dreams were coming true and you had the honor of being a part of it all.
He sighed your name, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, "Then why are you crying?"
You cursed internally for not realizing you had begun crying earlier when you were lost in your own spiraling thoughts. There was no use in holding them back now, and even though you absolutely despised the heartbroken expression that instantly fell onto his features, you'd be lying if you said it didn't feel nice to finally let go of the tension that had been building up for months without end.
He gently nudged you onto the bed and settled himself beside you, sitting close enough where you could still feel the warmth of presence, but far enough way where you had room to breathe.
"Tell me what's wrong, please, let me fix it" He pleaded.
You wanted nothing more than to tell him, he was finally giving you an opportunity to finally say what had been weighing on your mind for months, yet, all you wanted to do now was go to sleep and pray he would forget about all this in the morning. A new fear crept into your mind, one more terrifying than the last.
That this was all in your head.
Maybe you had been just overreacting, you thought, it was part of his job after all, to entertain. If that included winking and flirting with everyone else in the crowd, than so be it.
"Please" You heard him whisper through the fog of your thoughts, and his delicate, melodic voice was the last hammer to your slowly crumbling resolve.
"I miss you, Jaskier" You finally sputtered, your voice broken and weak. "I see you up there, and I'm so happy for you, but then I see the how the other women look at you, and I know how they feel and I-" You were cut off by a choked sob, one that you almost didn't even recognize as coming from you at first. "I would understand if you-"
"Don't." His voice was shockingly stern, causing you to finally look up at him through your lashes. "Don't you dare."
"I'm sorry-"
"And don't apologize either, you've nothing to apologize for." His tone was sharp and almost frustrated, though as you examined his features, you could tell he was anything but. His eyes were gentle and apologetic, his brows furrowed in concern as he studied you.
"They're just all so..." You waved your hands aimlessly, hoping he would understand what you meant, "And I'm only... Me."
A hushed gasp left his lips before he responded, "Do you truly not see yourself as I do?"
You winced, your eyes dropping to the floor as a strange, ashamed sort of heat bloomed in your chest.
Suddenly, you felt his forefinger and thumb grasp your chin, urging you to face him once again. "You are the most beautiful soul I have ever come across in all of my days. If I hadn't ever returned to that tavern, I don't believe I would ever be able to manage to write another lyric ever again, the highest beauty I would ever know has already passed me by."
Jaskier liked to talk, it was one of the many reasons you had fallen for him in the first place. You could tell when he was only speaking to get what he wanted, swindling inn keepers into letting you two stay another night, or even trying to talk Geralt out of leaving town again. His words as he spoke to you now though, held a certain weight to them. He wasn't loud, he wasn't making jokes, his voice was tender and calm as he whispered to you, he wasn't saying these things for anyone else but you.
"You are an aria come to life, my love. I consider it my highest honor to be blessed with your presence each day."
"Jaskier-"
He suddenly grasped both of your hands, as if to quiet your protests even before you had begun to form a sentence. He knew you too well.
"You're right when you say you aren't like the others though," He added abruptly, "You are extraordinary."
Even when you probably looked pathetic, tears streaked down your cheeks and eyes puffy, he looked upon you as if you were the most precious, rarest of jewels.
For a moment, his eyes flickered to something behind you and he smirked, you could already see the mischief stirring in his eyes as he began to plot.
In an instant, he had shot up from the bed, extending his hand to you. "Come," He requested plainly, "I want to show you something."
You hesitantly took his hand, allowing him to guide you to the small space between your bed and the fireplace where a large mirror stood imposingly.
He stood stiff behind you, almost trapping you in place with his presence. Your eyes were glued to the floor, you had had enough tears tonight, and you certainly didn't feel like looking at yourself in the mirror in the state you were in.
As if he sensed your internal hesitation, his hand found your face again, gently brushing your cheek, pushing it to the side so you could take in the picture of your reflection. "Look at you..."
You swallowed, your eyes tracing and noting every dimple, curve and freckle that you had always avoided focusing on for too long.
"A goddess." Jaskier whispered, so quietly that you questioned if he had even meant for you to hear it. "Look at you, carved from the finest marble money could buy, draped in silk..." His hand drifted from your chin, tracing the line of your neck and down the plane of your arm. "How you are not the muse of a thousand men is beyond me."
More tears rolled down your cheeks as a faint, melancholy smile played on your lips.
"I know it may take you some time for you to see these things as I do, but please, just listen to me. You are exquisite." He quickly spun you in his arms, planting his hands firmly on your hips. "And if you still don't ever see yourself as I do, please know that there will always be one thing that you have that they never will."
You sniffled, hastily wiping the few stray tears that had fallen. "What?" You breathed quietly.
"When I look at you, well..." He sighed, "That's when the music begins."
You let out a soft sigh, pressing your slightly dampened cheek onto the thin fabric of his shirt.
"They're all for you... They always were, they always will be."
There was a moment of comfortable quiet between the two of you as you both soaked in each others presence, swaying gently as you held each other.
"I love you." You muttered into his chest.
You could hear the smile in his voice as he pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head. "I love you, darling."
There was a brief pause before you began to chuckle. "I bet you say that to all the girls..."
You could feel the smirk in his voice, an amused hum rumbling in his chest as he replied. "Only to you."
oh my goodness, this was an absolute joy to write and i got slightly emotional over this :') i've 100% been needing some insecurity comfort recently and gosh this soft thought made me scream!! i hope you enjoyed this my anonymous friend!! and to everyone else, i also hope you thoroughly enjoyed!! i want you all to know that you are all masterpieces and i love you all so very much!! mwauh!!
as always, likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated!!
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