“Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.”-Unknown
Alright first blog! Wowzers! I know I have been talking about doing this for so long, but it’s definitely not easy. One because I suck at technology and I don’t understand why every time I turn my computer it wants to update…1 hour later…and two because infertility is something nobody wants to talk about. My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years so the amount of people who ask “any babies yet?” “Don’t you want babies?” “you and Logan will be amazing parents, you better get on that!” (Insert eye roll here) is unbearable. I now will say nicely, yet sarcastically, “you know it’s not that easy for everyone.” Then you get the sad pity/oh I feel like a jerk stare. It’s magical.
The past two years I have had every invasive test to try and figure out what is going on with me and why this hasn’t happened. In April 2015 my husband and I took a major step and went to an IVF facility. We met with a very nice doctor, and had an internal exam done and they said everything looked good. They did not know what was going on with me the tests didn’t tell them anything was wrong. Doc ASSUMED that I had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and that was why I was having so much trouble getting pregnant. My husband and I sat there listening to this nice doctor, watching him write a prescription (with a pen that had the prescription ad on it) for us for a medication that has two pages of side effects. To this day my prescription sits at my local apothecary. My husband and I couldn’t help but feel weird about the whole situation.
Please don’t get me wrong, I think that there is a point when one needs the help of the medical industry and Doctors to step in. I absolutely don’t judge those who do choose to go that route because I have seen a beautiful miracle happen for my best friend who thought that she would never have children, and that was with the help with an IVF specialist. I just don’t feel like that is how my story is supposed to go. I am almost 26 years old, so to say I have done everything I have possibly done to get pregnant would be a lie. That is why I am doing this blog.
Like I said, I want nothing in this world more then to be a mommy and with that being said, I will change my entire life around to get that chance.
1 in 8 women deal with infertility, and stress is the leading cause for infertility in women. For years now I have worked 2-3 jobs at a time while going to school full time, while also making sure my relationship with my husband isn’t being affected. I am also somebody who feels the need to help everyone and try to fix everything. I have the hardest time putting myself before others. So, needless to say I have always been stressed. I never put time aside for myself to enjoy my life, and take that breath of fresh air. Until now! This month I told my boss I needed to get my hours cut back for personal reasons. This is a huge move for me! I have Saturdays off! YAY!
I feel what sets me apart from the other women who struggle with infertility is I believe in nature. I believe that nature plays its course in these ways for a reason. Believe me there is nothing is this world I want more in this world then to be a mother, and I will do whatever it takes for that to happen. With that being said while I am waiting for nature to do her thing, I am going to continue to work on being a better me because when the time comes and I pee on that stick and two lines show up, I want to be mentally ready to be the best mother and wife I can possibly be.
Well this is the end of my first blog! Thank you for sticking around with my conjumbled thoughts, and my made up words like conjumbled ! Stay tuned for Blog number two on loving yourself and finding your “you.”