Feb 5, 2022
Jay: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Charlotte: Joss, how tall are you?
seen from T1
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seen from Malaysia
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Jay: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Charlotte: Joss, how tall are you?
The squad is trying to con some random guy
Jay: Um, Joss, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
Joss: We need money!
Jay: You're scamming him?
Joss: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?
Jay: What?! No way!
Joss: Why not? We already stole Charlotte!
Charlotte: Hey guys.
Jay: No, we didn't. Charlotte can think and talk for herself, she can do whatever she wants!
Charlotte: I wanna steal.
Undercover; Idle City
Drakken and Shego serve as the nights VIPs at a black market auction banquet, secretly gathering intel to take it down. Joss and Jay in their ear. As the night goes on, Drakken gets a little more than tipsy.
Drakken, pointing to Shego: She’s with me! That’s my girlfriend, suckers!
Jay: Your wife, dad.
Drakken: My wife! Even better!
He Only Cost A Dime
Drakken and Jay come home with a pet duck. Shego just gives them The Eyebrow
Jay: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Shego: Wasn't your dad with you?
Drakken: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Laughed Way Too Hard At This
The Go-Lipsky‘s come over to Joss’ apartment for dinner one night. After food, they’re all on the outside balcony, wine and sparkling grape juice in hand. Drakken and Shego remind the youngin‘s why green and blue go so well together.
Drakken: 🎶Footloose!
Shego: 🎶Pet goose!
Drakken: 🎶 Picked a fight with a moose!
Shego: 🎶Cheese!
Drakken: 🎶Stiff breeze!
Shego: 🎶Watch out there are ten bees!
*Drakken & Shego burst out in uncontrollable laughter*
Joss & Jay sitting on the ledge watching them
Joss:
Joss: I want that.
For the Want of a Comet
Teeth clenched and sweat dripping from her brow, Kim forcefully pulls on the metallic device attached to Shego’s chest.
“Wake up, Shelia. What ever you’re seeing in there, it’s not real.”
As Kim stared into the woman’s blissfully lost eyes, the turbulent screams of their loved ones became all the more apparent. “Drew, they can handle her! Help me!”, the red head yells.
“C’mon, lady! You think we haven’t dealt with cataclysms before?!”, Jay roars to their enemy. Doing everything in his power to distract her from Kim and Drakken’s efforts.
“Chance! Watch it! Shego’s a ticking time bomb right now-—!”, Joss sharply barks. In the split second she minds the boy, Joss’ grapple line is cut by the woman and she’s sent colliding with the adjacent building with a violent fury.
The woman turns her attention to Jay, who is terrified all the same but stands his ground. “Yes, young man. The dear faux Lorwardian is far, far gone into her paradise.-”, the words sliding off her tongue like silk.
Piercing blue eyes boar into his dark ones as she stalks closer. “Which prompts the question: what do you want, son?”
“Yeah nothing you can give, lady.”
“Suit yourself.” she cooly replies, tossing the boy into his recovering partner.
——
Shelia!
Shego!
Inside the depths of Shego’s mind, vague lights and quakes shake the illusion.
“Drew, did you see that?”, Shelia asks, gesturing to the multi-colored flash illuminating the sky. “What, that? It’s just solar flare. The other meteorologists and I have been expecting them for weeks.-”, Drew responds, angling his head to get a better eye on their toddler on the swing set. Drew directing his attention to his son.
“-You know what sounds good? Ice cream. Jay, my boy! Whadda say, work up an ice cream break?”
The young boy dashes up to his parents, full of wonder and glee. “Yeah! Hey mom, did you see me go across the monkey bars all by myself?”
“I sure did, buddy. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re a real... monkey.”, trailing off the rest of her words. This was right. This was her husband. This was her child. This was the playground of the school she taught. But the nagging in her head wouldn’t leave.... and that light....
Shego!
Shego!!
What?
Shego: You wanna stay here? Great. But I’m going to Phoenix.
Drakken: No, Shelia. You can’t go to Phoenix. It’s in Arizona.
Shego: Oh, yeah...
Jay: Why can’t you go to Arizona?
Shego: Let’s just say there might be a warrant there for my arrest. And in Ohio.
Shego: And in some other states I can never remember.
Drakken: Well, you just need to remember the song we made up for this.
Drakken: ♫ What are the states where Shego can’t go? Arizona, Utah and Ohio! ♫
Jay:
Drakken: There’s three more states where Shego can’t be; Texas, New Hampshire and Tennessee! ♫
Shego: ♫ I’m also not welcome in Europe~! ♫
Kim’s Home
Drakken: Well Kimberly, it’s certainly good to have you back. Now Jay will have a suitable sitter.
Joss, internally with a death glare: Did I change all those diapers for nothing, old man..?