Mar 29, 2019
Callisto, at 3 am: what if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in spanish
Jay, pillow over his face, trying desperately to sleep: please for the love of god just go to sleep
seen from Norway
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seen from Sweden
seen from T1
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from Russia
seen from Canada
seen from Türkiye
seen from Norway
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seen from Canada
seen from Canada
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seen from T1
Callisto, at 3 am: what if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in spanish
Jay, pillow over his face, trying desperately to sleep: please for the love of god just go to sleep
Jay: I like your pants
Kari: Thanks! They were 50% off!
Jay: I'd like them better if they were 100% off.
Kari: The store can't just sell free stuff
Jay: That's not what I-
Kari: That's a terrible way to run a business, Jay
Jay you’re a fucking terrible roommate
would it kill you to clean for once in your sorry little life??
Rooming with Jay is like being in a really dark comedy
For example:
“Is that blood?” “What did you expect?”
“We need to go clean the dragon!” “Fuck the dragon I’m sleeping in today.”
“Dude, stop shouting in Swahili.” “Tafadhali usila kwa ajili ya upendo wa mungu tafadhali usila mimi hapana hapana hapana tafadhali!”
“Why don’t you make the breakfast for once?!” “You of all people should know the only thing I can’t burn is cereal.”
“Well you’re in a murder-y mood today.” “And you, as always, are in a douche-y mood.”
“Please drop the knife.”
“I’d rather not have to clean up guts of the floor again.”
“I told you not to watch horror films at 3am. Did you listen? No. This is all your fault, and you will suffer alone.”
“Why is there shit everywhere?”
“I mean, we’ll probably live through it.” “By probably you mean that there’s a 75% chance we won’t.” “Yeah, whatever.”
“If I have to hear the fucking fish and chicken story one more time I will skin you alive and feed you to Beezlebub.”
“Why is there a hot tub on the balcony? Wait. Since when do we have a balcony?!”
“You’re fucking scary.” “Good.”
“What do I have to do to convince you not to kill me?” “Die.”
“Oh, god, not another demon summoning again. The salt always gets everywhere, and the blood is impossible to wash off these floors.” “Dude, I thought I told you not to say the g-word when we’re doing this!”
Kari: Synonyms are so weird! Like, if I invite you to my cottage in the forest, we’re going to have a great time. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you’re going to die.
Jay: My favorite is “butt dial” versus “booty call.”
Terym: It’s called connotation.
Riley: Also “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” versus, “Sorry, daddy, I’ve been naughty.”
Terym: And just like that, language is cancelled.
Jay, walking into a math test: Worst thing happens, I get an F. Can't get any worse than that, right?
Jay, two weeks later, with the scores back: I greatly underestimated geometry teachers
Jay: Couldn't you just help me?
Callisto: I could, but this easier and far more entertaining.
Jay: Sorry I was late. I was… doing things.
Robin: *slams open the door, noticeably disheveled* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!