sugar daddy!jay x f!reader
y/n finds herself wanting to be more than just a sugar baby
fluff? chill, sugar daddy, kissing, pg
i was gonna make this smut but i got lazy (might be open to doing a pt. 2
The night, that was once young, slowly faded into the early morning hours, and yet here you were, still sitting on the balcony. It was chilly, but not cold enough for you to shiver beneath the thick fabric of your hoodie. And it was so quiet that your thoughts seemed like they were roaring in your head.
You had so many questions for yourself. How'd you get into this situation? Why are you okay with it? Is it really okay to live this way? Ultimately, though, your lifestyle was almost too perfect for you to ever really consider leaving.
You're pulled from your deep thoughts when two hands meet your shoulders. The touch is warm and familiar, so you don't even flinch.
"What are you doing awake at this hour, darling?" His voice was soft, somber, and slightly more relaxed than usual. His hands massaged your shoulders gently, releasing the tension that had built up over the past few hours of you just sitting there deep in thought.
"Couldn't sleep.." You answer, much like always, and he chuckles. "I expected as much.. Come inside.. Isn't it cold?" He leads you inside, closing the balcony doors as he leads you towards the bed instead, sitting beside you. "You seem distant lately.. Am I making you uncomfortable?" He asks and you shake your head. "No, not at all.. That's not it."
His brow furrows slightly as he watches you fiddle with your hands, not bothering to explain to him what's been bothering you. "Then what is it, angel..? Tell me.." You glance up at him momentarily, sighing softly. "I just.. I don't know. Our agreement doesn't seem fair.. I feel like a leech.. Or some kind of freeloader.."
He sighs deeply at your confession, taking your hand into his slightly larger palm. "What exactly is our agreement, darling?" He asks to which you shrug. "I'm not so sure anymore.."
Jay chuckles, kissing your hand sweetly. "Listen.. Just because I'm your sugar daddy doesn't mean our agreement is supposed to followed perfectly. It's not a contract.. I help you pay your tuition and you give me companionship.. We eat dinner together sometimes.. watch movies.. hang out. That's our agreement. And you've done a great job doing your part.." You smile, nodding gratefully. "I just feel guilty sometimes.. Like what would other people think.. What would I tell them we are if they ever saw us together?" You question, genuinely curious, and Jay laughs. "Tell them I'm your boyfriend, darling.. That's a much better label than sugar daddy.." There's a humorous air in his words that makes you laugh, leaning against him and resting your head against his shoulder.
"I missed you today.. I haven't seen you much lately.. That's why I waited.." You give the real answer to his earlier question, and this reply cracks a smile from Jay, but you're unable to see it due to your head's comfy position against his shoulder. "You look really good in a suit.." You hold his hand, playing with the ring on his index finger before lifting your head to gaze at his face. Eyes a little tired, cologne still wafting strongly though much more faint than when he had applied it this morning, and his tie loosened, giving him a bit of relaxation after a seemingly daunting day.
His eyes soften once more at your compliment, squeezing your hand gently. "I like when I come home and you're still awake.. I like talking to you..." He admits, which shocks you. Jay will buy you a million things before he ever admits something like that. He shows his care in the luxury form. No hugs or kisses, but diamond earrings have always done the trick for him. And you can see right through him everytime. When you passed an exam that you were really scared to take, he took you to dinner in a different country, and he bought you so many gifts, but he couldn't even say something so simple as "good job." And you're convinced that he's scared that getting too close will make you think he's in love with you, but in reality your heart races more when he looks you in your eyes and talks from his heart than when he surrises you with a new expensive gift.
"Was work tiring today? You seem a little tense.." You note, rubbing his arm gently as he nods. "It was definitely tiring.. A lot of annoying people.." He suddenly stands up, taking off his blazer. You watch his movements, admiring his frame in the low light of the room. "I'm gonna shower... You should really get some rest.."
And just like that he's back to his sorry attempts to keep himself closed off from you. Even when you've tried to add intimacy to your relationship he tends to deny you. It's like he thinks you're only doing it because you think he wants it, and he doesn't wanna take advantage of you. In reality you simply wouldn't mind and you also think it might add some more warmth to your relationship.
You stay up every night waiting for him, you call him in the middle of the day when you miss him, and he spoils you like you're his girlfriend. Why does it feel like you're in this pretend relationship, and none of these small and intimate moments should matter, but everytime he gets close, kisses your forehead, or holds your hand, you want him so bad?
You spend awhile thinking, once again losing yourself to your thoughts, and you're brought back when Jay ruffles your hair, sitting beside you once more. "What's on your mind?"
You glance at him, smiling at him. "I was just thinking.. Nothing too serious.."
He nods, not wanting to press you to answer. "What did you do today?" He asks as you shrug. "Nothing really.. I went to lunch with some friends, but it wasn't really fun.. How about you? What made work so tiring?" He lets out another heavy breath as you ask your question, leaning back on his palms as he attempts to formulate an answer. "I couldn't focus.. And today just seemed so much longer than usual..."
You hum thoughtfully as you listen to his words. "Why couldn't you focus?" Everytime you ask a question, he sighs deeper, his eyes flickering to yours before he answers. "I couldn't stop thinking about you... Who you were with.. What you were doing..."
You're shocked to hear the information, but you also see it as an opportunity to figure out his feelings towards you. "Jay... Why is it that everytime I get close you back off?.. We kissed that one time and you seemed into it, but you didn't wanna go further.. Is it me, or something else?" He feels put on the spot by your speculations, not really knowing how to respond, but knowing that his lack of an answer would only make you think badly of yourself.
"It's not you.. I just don't wanna take advantage of you.. Don't think you owe me your body just because I'm giving you money.. If I wanted sex I would've said that.. I don't want you to think I'm that kinda guy.." He explains, almost rambling as he tries to get his point across. As he finishes, you can almost see the thoughts crossing his mind. When he zones out, you regain his attention by kissing him gently.
As you pull back, staring at him softly, the corners of his mouth turns up into a smile. He cups your face, his thumb caressing your cheek as his eyes meet yours, communicating all the thoughts he's too scared to say. Your hands move to rest on his shoulders, rubbing them gently. "Trust me.. I'm not making advances out of obligation.. I just happen to be attracted to this kind and caring man who's taking such good care of me.. He cooks for me, buys me flowers when I've simply had a bad day, and he answers everytime I call no matter how busy he is... Jay, I promise you if we'd met under better circumstances, I wouldn't be your sugar baby... Maybe I'd be someone more special to you..."
He's stunned by your proclamation, and he laughs softly, his free hand coming up to brush your hair away from your face. "Darling.. You are someone special to me.. And this whole time I thought it was clear to you.. The dinners, the gifts, the late nights talking for hours or helping you study.. I thought you knew it was because of how special you were to me.." Now you both feel stupid. You both laugh, breaths mingling together in the cool air of the room as Jay pulls you slightly closer. "How can I make it up to you?..." He hums softly, his eyes searching yours for an answer that he already knows you'll give. When you reply by pulling him in for a kiss, he smiles, immediately reciprocating. The kiss is gentle, but passionate, giving you both the chance to finallly share the emotion you've been holding back. Once you finally part, Jay meets your eyes with the sweetest smile, caressing your cheek with his thumb. "From now on I don't wanna be your sugar daddy... Just your boyfriend.. How does that sound?"
You smile brightly at his question, leaning in to kiss him deeply. "I'd like that a lot.."
