#jayebird chirps

[electricswordfish]

i need yall to stop posting abt cum kisses and simeoultaneous orgasm because its making me miss my ex and im trying to make myself not have sex for a while its rlly killing my vibe

[electricswordfish]

Now that queen Elizabeth is dead all her power gets transferred to all the other Elizabeths. If like me, your deadname is Elizabeth, you have the choice to accept or reject the Elizabethian transfer of power and life force.

[electricswordfish]

Did you know planes have primordial pouches

[electricswordfish]

My quarter life crisis has been losing all my friends, giving up on my degree being part of my career, going sober and getting a job working on putting furniture on planes. I have no idea what im doing ever

[electricswordfish]

I bit my lip twice and not in a sexy way. I chomped on that bottom limp in willful ignorance. It is now swollen and will take three days to heal over. I feel it on the inside of my mouth. I am miserable

[electricswordfish]

Also new human physical defense mechanism: bones turn gelatinous on impact and take only like 30 mins to an hour to resolidify. Could be faster if u drink milk. Human evolutionary genome write this down.

[electricswordfish]

People that lord their age over you as a merit of “knowing better” do not have your best interests in mind and are often seeking an externalized sense of superiority

[electricswordfish]

I mean i do care about my chosen job as much as perry the platypus does. And i have better reflexes than most judge at first glance bc i did take boxing classes when i was 16 and kept up the reflexes with basketball and stuff. So maybe perry is my true self….