“Okay, now we just have to wait until the food is ready!”
“What if I don’t want to wait.. what if I’m sick of waiting?”
All of a sudden this wasn’t about the spicy lasagna baking in the oven. Just how many times would they have to have this conversation? Especially now of all times. In their kitchen in front of a camera currently recording them live.
“Tamaki! You don’t have to be so impatient!! the food will be ready soon!” He jokes and laughs trying to push away the conversation again.
“Sou-chan be serious, please” he whispers a plea.
So now they’re having the conversation.. again. Sogo sighs and says “Why would you want to eat it half cooked? Or raw? You could get sick” of me, the words go unsaid.
“Won’t know until I try it. And even then I don’t think I’ll get tired of it” (I’ll never get tired of you, but Sogo refuses to hear it). Sogo is tired of this conversation already, and you can hear it through the tone of his voice. “It’s gross, cold and nasty until it comes out of the oven, so it should bake until it’s ready”. Still like his usual soft voice, but tense at the ends of words and short at the end of the sentence. Like he wants this to end. He does.
“You’re not asking me what I want. It’s always about you now isn’t it?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ve been waiting for a long time. For you to take me seriously” Tamaki now stands to face Sogo, he’s looking right at him. “For you to look me in the eye and be honest. Why won’t you..” Let me love you? The words are loud in the silence and Sogo can’t exactly ignore them. Suddenly it’s hard for Sogo to see the young, immature 17 year old he was when they first met. It’s hard to pretend that was the reason he was so hesitant about this, about a possible Tamaki and I. He can’t pretend it's because of their career anymore either, he never could, not after Yamato, Mitsuki and Nagi. So what was it?
His heart and body were ready, more than. He would love to be trapped in the strong mass of Tamaki's arms, warm and protected like always, or to protect Tamaki, like with his dad before. To be able to kiss him freely in the privacy of one of their rooms or in secret in their dressing room during IDOLiSH7 or MEZZO down time. To give eachother longing glances from across the stage and have the observant fans theorize about what it means. He wanted that. Badly. So what the hell is stopping him??
His inner turmoil is broken by soft hands clasping his own together.
A quiet whisper rains down on his ears like a calm river reaching a violent ocean. Sogo, Tamaki says right next to Sogo’s ear.
But our careers!!
But Tamaki’s Hands are so warm.
But his age?
Tamaki is 20. And if Sogo would’ve come to his senses earlier then he would’ve realized that he has felt this way towards Tamaki since last year.
But.. but
Tamaki is here, telling Sogo that this is okay. That he wants this, wants Sogo. And as hard as that is, for someone who hasn’t felt wanted in a long time, Sogo realizes that he wants Tamaki too.