Of all the people on this server...you are one that I truly and unequivocally respect. You have a quiet calm about you and it comes through your writing and RP. I've said it before and I will probably keep saying it for a long time: You are wonderful. I have been witness to your RP and seen the care you took to plan an event. Your OOC commentary is always spot on and ICly your characters are interesting and complex. Thank you for writing no matter the subject.
I would be a liar were I to say that there were not moments I just wanted to stop altogether. There are times like today when civility seems more a mirage than anything else… but then I remember that, you know what, it does not matter where you go or what you do — you will always have people who enjoy tearing others down. I wish I knew why, you know? I wish I could understand that impulse. If I have slighted someone, I wish they would come to me and tell me. I will not be upset – in fact, I will work with them to help resolve the situation. Constructive criticism is more than welcome — because it makes me better both as a writer, and as a person.
I try to bring civility and common sense into heated OoC situations, because: 1. I do not like vitriolic discourse, 2. Vitriolic discourse does nothing but tear communities apart, 3. Everyone — and I don’t care how small or large a guild is, how popular a person is or not — every single person on this server has something to contribute to the larger community, and 4. I only want to see this larger, server-wide community be successful.
What is the sense in sniping at people anonymously or shouting ad hominem attacks in the midst of a civil discussion or ‘harassing people off the server’ when we could all just take a step back, breathe slow and deep, examine the conflict from all sides, and come to a compromise? I am not saying it is easy in the least; in fact, compromise is incredibly difficult and requires a level of maturity of which every single person here is capable, but may have not yet achieved. Not everyone can be happy – such a condition is impossible given the way group dynamics function – but that does not mean we cannot work within a framework wherein we at least respect our peers.
However, that respect, it must be reciprocal. If a person anonymously insults a friend of mine, I’ll stand up for my friend. Perhaps it is not constructive discourse, but I am unsure of other tacks. If this makes me a lapdog, so be it – arf, arf, motherfucker! – but I’d rather be a loyal friend than someone who throws a person they care about under the bus. Keep our actual characters’ assassinations in-game and consensual, thanks.
A story is more important, always more important, than its storytellers. The RP is always greater than the people involved, always. These are not words I say, they are words I mean, and I hope it shows in the discourse I use and encourage.
And so, thank you for your words, @jazimina … I am heartened in the knowledge that the care I show for my friends is evident, the planning and investiture my cohort and I sink into our stories is appreciated, and that my well-wishes for the server are genuine.
Let’s keep on writing, keep on moving forward, keep on reading each others’ works – but, most of all – move toward a more civil space where we can all participate in the larger discourse, where all of our stories matter, and where every single writer on this server has an equal voice.