abalone ; apache tears ; quartz ; zoisite ; fluorite (ur welcome) (remember when i bought u that rock)
send me a crystal and i’ll tell you… / accepting.
abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionally.
very few, but those that do have a huge effect on him. aspen’s not the type to get in his feelings — he’s been conditioned to put emotion aside and think logically in all situations, especially those of great duress. what always, without a doubt leaves him broken, battered and openly upset, is meeting with his mother. it’s hard for him to have a proper conversation for the rest of the day ( he normally meets her for lunch on sundays ) and he tends to do nothing more than go home and stew in his misery until it’s late enough for him to sleep. when he’s a relationship with someone who shares his home, he’ll usually either come home looking a mess and ignore them, or curl up in their arms and refuse to discuss the matter. simply put, he’s pretty much useless for the rest of the day after seeing his mother.
apache tears: a sadness headcanon.
on account of the heavy antipsychotics he takes to keep his alters at bay, aspen suffers from bouts of depression that can last from one day up to a week, and often more so because he allows himself to perpetuate that sadness once it first begins. he won’t eat or sleep — usually just stays in bed for days at a time and stares at the wall. it’s uncommon for him to cry either, as he doesn’t see a real reason to, because he doesn’t understand why he’s sad, just that he is. his mother always told him that emotions aside from anger, especially sadness, are weakness, so it only makes him even more depressed to think about how depressed he is.
quartz: how my muse thinks other people see them.
it depends on the person, but, for the most part, he assumes people are scared of him. he also has a terrible tendency to assume people know who he is, even when they clearly don’t recognize him. for most of his life, either his name or his face have usually been enough to elicit a reaction, and they normally range from fear, to disdain, to nervousness. and in the world he inhabits, people know about enmity and the work they do, and aspen’s been in the newspaper here and there during ongoing murder/arson/assault cases, etc., so he considers himself somewhat of a local celebrity.
zoisite: does my muse believe everything’s going to work out for them in the end or not?
this is a matter aspen’s very conflicted about. on one hand, he’d like to believe everything he’s worked for and dreamed of all his life will become his — the fancy mansion, power, glory, etc. it’s all feasible, in a sense, because his mother and her colleagues achieved the same thing by the same means. on the other hand, however, aspen’s enough of a realist to know that his lifestyle isn’t the type that leads to a long, healthy life. he’s also aware he has a plethora of mental health issues that’ve led him to the brink of taking his own life multiple times, and his inconsistence in taking his medication and refusal to meet with a therapist doesn’t bode well. so, in theory, and if asked, he’d say yes — and that’s what he consciously convinces himself of. but in reality, he doubts he’ll live all that long.
fluorite: what my muse’s room looks like.
his room really isn’t anything exciting, but it’s one of his favorites in the apartment. there isn’t a lot of furniture in it, and he likes the open space. he has a king sized bed that’s much too big for him, and it’s the only piece of pure white furniture in the house — a huge, fluffy duvet, at least 10 pillows, egyptian cotton sheets, the whole shebang. the headboard is up against a glass wall, and there’s another identical wall on the opposing end of the room. other than that, there’s a simple black nightstand with a lamp and a photo of himself and jack, a long shelf on one wall with his favorite books and a few other knick knacks, a leather armchair in the corner and that’s about it.
