Always — Lawhan
for @ellearts and not beta read at all...
Sitting in silence isn’t something new for Liam and Jack; they’ve done it plenty of times before. They don’t always need words to convey how they’re feeling — sometimes they just need each other’s company to feel better.
It feels a little different this time, though. Because Liam is in his underwear and most of his clothes are shed along with the mask he’s been wearing his entire life. There’s a lightness in him now — one that reaches down to his very bones — because he knows, finally. Or, maybe he’d known all along and had just become such an expert at hiding it from everyone else that he eventually started hiding it from himself, too. But he accepts, now.
He accepts who he is and the reason why all of his relationships have failed. He accepts that the only thing broken inside of him are the pieces of himself he’d torn apart trying to make himself belong.
And, above everything else, he accepts that this feeling he gets in his chest whenever Jack is around — whenever Liam so much as thinks about him — is love. The real, honest, life-altering kind. The kind he’s been searching for in every woman who gave him the time of day, without realizing it’s always been right by his side.
And it’s a scary thing to come to terms with, knowing it could change everything.
When Yuki is 800 miles away, and isn’t here for Liam to explain it to him. But it feels like a part of himself has slotted into place now. It turns out the piece he’d looked for in Hannah, in Andrea, and in Danielle was inside himself all along. And he knows — he knows — that this is the biggest step to healing things with himself. Because now that Liam knows, understands, and accepts himself, he feels whole enough on his own that he doesn’t feel the need to make up for his past mistakes. Liam doesn’t feel like he has to make up for the fact that he isn’t enough. Because he is.
So Liam feels like he can breathe a little bit easier now. He feels free.
But Jack feels like a different matter entirely, and not just because Liam is so in love with him that he can feel it pulsing in his veins.
He can tell that something is going on with Jack. He can feel the — not hurt, but confusion, maybe, that’s radiating off him. It feels like grasping fingers reaching out for something. It feels like maybe Jack has come here to find out what it is, exactly, that he’s reaching for.
They’ve been sitting in silence for maybe ten minutes when Jack finally breaks it.
“So, Mick broke up with me.”
Liam startles at that, his head swiveling to the left to look at Jack — to take in the expression on his face, the language of his body, the glint in his eyes. He looks…not sad, exactly, but sad-adjacent, like maybe he’s having mixed feelings about it. Liam isn’t having mixed feelings, of course. Liam’s only feeling right now is relief, and he has to swallow down the thank god that almost slips from between his lips.
“Oh. Okay. Uh, what— what happened?”
Jack sighs. “Well, he was engaged to Laila, for one.”
Liam chokes on his beer. “He was what? Engaged?”
Jack hums in confirmation, unsure what exactly to say next.
Liam doesn’t even want to touch that, honestly. He kind of feels like he’s reeling a little bit, like he’s gotten whiplash from the sudden change in direction. Because whatever he’d thought Jack was going to say, it certainly wasn’t that.
“I was weird about it at first, you know, because I've known him all my life and suddenly he's engaged but still wants us to fuck on the side,” Jack admits. “But… but then I talked to my dad, and I made my peace with it. Y’know?”
Liam nods his head. “Okay, so that's why you broke up with him?”
“Well, I asked him to move in with me.”
Liam almost chokes again. Because — because of course he did. That’s such a Jack thing to do.
He has a habit of trying to hold onto long-dead things because he’s scared of being left behind. He loves so big, and loud, and fast — and it’s such a beautiful thing to witness, and to be on the receiving end of — but it makes him impulsive, sometimes. Makes him dig his claws and teeth in to try and keep that love from leaving him, even when that love isn’t the good kind; even when it doesn’t come close to being enough for someone like Jack.
“And he said no, because he thinks I’d break his heart — he loves Laila. He said he’s my first, but he won’t be my last.”
Liam thinks that’s probably the smartest thing Mick has ever said.
And look, he doesn’t hate the guy — they were friends, even though that’s kind of faded since he started seeing Jack — but Liam knows, without a doubt, that Mick isn’t the right person for Jack. He’ll be the right person for someone, for Laila maybe. But not Jack, who needs affection, and attention, and reassurance. Jack, who needs to feel seen, and heard, and understood.
Mick couldn’t even call him by his name half the time, for god’s sake. He was always Doohan.
“That’s… a lot,” Liam acknowledges. “How are you feeling about it all?” he asks, because while Liam is certain this is the right thing in the long run, he doesn’t ever want Jack to be hurting.
Jack sighs. “I don’t know,” he says. “I feel… I feel like I should feel worse, if that makes sense?”
He pauses and looks to Liam, maybe to gauge his reaction. So Liam shifts in his seat, tucking one of his legs up onto the couch so he can comfortably turn and face Jack as he’s talking. Jack mirrors him, pulling his own leg up onto the couch so their knees are pressed together. Liam nods encouragingly, and Jack gives him a sweet smile before continuing.
“It sucks,” he says, “because I feel like I’m back on that goddamn hamster wheel again, just running around in circles and getting absolutely nowhere. But… but I don’t really think I’m sad about him. About Mick.”
“You’re not?” Liam pushes.
“I think, unfortunately, he was probably right,” Jack says, grimacing like it hurts him to admit it. “He was the first guy I’ve ever been with, y’know, and I’m grateful for that, but. But I was never going to fall in love with him, or anything.”
It’s probably selfish for Liam to feel relieved at the sound of that, but he can’t quite control the way he lets out a breath and his entire body relaxes.
It’s just — Jack doesn’t have to want Liam back, this isn’t about that, but. But Liam and Mick are actually kind of similar in a lot of ways — though they’re different in far more — and Liam would probably spend the rest of his life sick with envy if Mick turned out to be the one for Jack, instead of Liam. If Jack fell in love with someone who was like Liam, but not him. It might have made him crazy, actually.
“I mean, that’s good, right?” Liam asks. “It’s not like you’re losing the love of your life.”
Jack’s breath hitches, and his face falls as he says, “Like you did?”
He hadn’t planned to talk about this right now. He’d wanted to give himself time to adjust to the new label he’s assigned to himself, before sharing it with anyone else. But… but this is Jack, and Liam trusts him more than anybody else in the world. He trusts him with his life and with his vulnerability, so he knows that his heart is safe with Jack, too. Because even if Jack doesn’t want it, he would never do anything to hurt it.
So he takes a steadying breath, like he’s preparing to go into battle, then he says, “No. No, I loved Hannah; she was like my best friend. But… but she wasn’t the love of my life.”
Jack’s eyebrows pull down in confusion as he asks, “She— she wasn’t?”
Liam laughs a little, shaking his head. He gets Jack’s confusion because he was confused about it for a long time as well. But he knows that not being in love with Shannon will never take away from the fact that he did love her. She’ll always be important in Liam's life, and she’ll always hold a piece of his heart, but she wasn’t the great, big love of his life. That honor belongs to someone else.
“I, um,” Liam hesitates, glancing down for a moment at the way his bare knee is pressed against Jack’s. “I’m gay.”
He’s met with stunned silence, and the swirling anxiety in his chest forces him to look back up at Jack’s face. Jack’s mouth is parted in shock, and his blue eyes are wide and shining as he meets Liam’s gaze. For a moment, Jack is completely still, frozen by the revelation. But then, gradually, a slow, wide grin spreads across his face, and his open palm lands on Liam’s bare thigh, giving it a firm squeeze.
“Oh my god,” he breathes, voice filled with excitement and something that sounds a lot like pride. “Oh my god, Liam. That’s… that’s incredible. I’m so happy for you.” There’s genuine joy and elation in his voice, but for Liam, it’s kind of hard to focus on anything except the warmth of Jack’s hand on his leg, the feeling grounding him, comforting him.
“Yeah?” Liam asks, his voice coming out a little breathless from both the intensity of Jack’s touch and the overwhelming relief that washes over him at seeing Jack so happy, so accepting.
Jack laughs, bright and light. “Yes, of course!” he exclaims, and then, without warning, “Come here.”
In a heartbeat, Jack is kneeling up on the couch, towering over Liam as he leans forward and throws his arms around him in a bear hug so tight and fierce that it knocks a bit of breath out of Liam. Jack’s arms wrap securely around Liam’s shoulders, and Liam’s face is pressed against Jack’s chest, where he can feel the steady, reassuring beat of his heart. Liam’s own hands come up to tentatively rest around Jack’s waist, and he finds himself melting into the embrace, feeling like he’s somehow found a safe haven.
Jack rests his cheek on top of Liam’s head, holding him tightly, protectively, as if he’s telling Liam through the strength of his embrace that he’s here, that he’s got him, no matter what. Liam has spent so much of his life carrying burdens, constantly bracing himself for impact, and here, in Jack’s arms, it feels like he’s allowed to let it all go, to just be, with Jack holding him together.
A laugh escapes from Liam, muffled against Jack’s chest, and Jack joins in, the sound rich and joyful as they sway slightly from the force of their shared laughter. As they pull back just a little, Jack keeps his hand nestled in the space between Liam’s shoulder and neck, his thumb tracing light, comforting patterns along the base of his neck. They’re sitting even closer than before, knees brushing, faces mere inches apart. Liam could count every one of Jack’s eyelashes if he wanted to, and the thought is surprisingly tender, making his heart beat just a little faster.
Jack’s voice is soft and a little breathless as he says, “Sorry. Sorry, I got a little carried away.”
Liam looks at him, feeling strangely open, and murmurs, “I don’t mind.” His voice comes out a bit too honest, even to his own ears, but he can’t bring himself to care. He wants Jack to know.
Jack’s eyes widen, and a faint flush of pink rises on his cheeks, a mixture of bashfulness and hope that makes him look impossibly endearing. “No?” he asks, his voice just above a whisper.
And as his gaze dips down to Liam’s lips, Liam can feel a warmth spreading through his chest, something steady and sure. “No, Jack,” he replies, his own voice soft but full of meaning. “I don’t mind. Not when it’s you.”
He feels Jack’s hand tighten on his shoulder, and he opens his mouth to say something, but the words fade as he watches Jack’s tongue swipe across his bottom lip. Liam wants to lean in and taste him — wants to get lost in everything Jack. But something holds him back, a last moment of hesitation.
“Sorry,” he whispers. “Sorry, that was too much. You’ve just brok—”
He doesn’t get to finish his sentence.
In an instant, Jack is surging forward, pulling Liam closer as he does, and then, in the blink of an eye, Jack’s lips are on his. Liam doesn’t have to wonder what Jack tastes like anymore; he just flicks his tongue out and steals a taste. When Jack moans into his mouth, Liam swallows it down, pressing closer, pushing Jack backward until there’s enough room for him to swing a leg over Jack’s thighs and settle in his lap. And when Jack’s hands splay across the curve of his ribs, Liam melts into his touch.
It’s his first time kissing a man, but Liam knows instantly that it feels right. There’s no sense of performing, no need to think about his next move, because everything flows naturally, instinctively. Every touch, every taste, every breath — they all feel like they’re exactly where they’re supposed to be.
He knows, right down to his core, that this is exactly where he belongs.
Jack’s fingers curl around Liam’s waist as he captures Liam’s bottom lip between his teeth, giving it a gentle tug that makes Liam whine louder than he’d intended, his hips jerking of their own accord. Jack’s grip tightens, and he breaks their kiss only to press their foreheads together, both of them breathing hard.
“Jesus, fuck,” Jack pants, his breath hot against Liam’s lips. “Holy shit, you’re— you’re... Liam.”
“I want you,” Liam whispers, peppering tiny kisses from the corner of Jack’s mouth and all along his jaw. “I’ve always wanted you.”
Because even before Liam truly knew it, he’d wanted Jack. Liam’s soul has been reaching out to Jack’s from the very beginning. And he might have spent too many years ignoring the universe’s call, but he won’t turn away from it a single second longer.
“I want you, too,” Jack murmurs, voice rough and filled with emotion. “Always, Liam. Always you.”
As those words sink in — as they seep into Liam’s blood and saturate his bones — it feels like they are rewriting his very DNA. It’s as if loving Jack, and being loved by him, is reshaping the core of who Liam is. For the first time, he finally feels like someone he recognizes.
And maybe it should feel too fast, this thing between them that’s burning, growing, ravaging him from the inside out. Maybe Liam should want to slow it down, take a moment to breathe, let his mind catch up with his body — with his heart. But he’s tried fast with Hannah, and slow with Andrea and Danielle, and none of those things had worked out because they weren’t this. They weren’t a man.
They weren’t Jack, with his big, calloused hands, warm and steady against Liam’s waist as he pulls him closer. They weren’t Jack, who’s leaning down to bite, to suck, to leave marks that Liam wants to wear forever.
He doesn’t want to stop; he doesn’t even want to slow down. He wants this, here, for the rest of his life. He’s past wondering if he deserves it, past questioning if he’s good enough for someone like Jack, past being afraid of the depth of love he feels. He wants Jack selfishly, wants him greedily, and if Jack is willing to give himself over, then Liam isn’t selfless enough to say no. He isn’t strong enough to deny himself this kind of joy.
“Need you,” Liam whispers, almost begging. “Please, Jack. Please.”
He tilts his head, exposing his neck for Jack’s lips and teeth and tongue to explore, leaving a trail down to his collarbone. Jack sucks the skin into his mouth, biting in a way that makes Liam shiver, moan, and grind against Jack’s hardening length.
He feels frantic, desperate, like he might fall apart if Jack doesn’t do something soon.
“What do you need?” Jack murmurs. “Tell me what you need, Li.”
“You,” Liam answers, barely able to hold back. “I need you. Just you.”
Jack tips his head back, resting it on the couch, eyes squeezed shut. The smile on his face, the blush creeping up his cheeks — it’s enough to drive Liam wild, and he has to swallow down a whine at the sight of him.
“You’re killing me,” Jack pants, and Liam laughs softly.
“Well, we don’t want that,” he teases.
But then Jack is helping Liam off his lap and jumping to his feet, and they’re standing so close that their chests brush together with every breath. Liam can’t resist leaning forward to steal another kiss from Jack. It’s all tongue, teeth, and wandering hands, and Liam’s entire body feels like jelly in Jack’s hands — soft, malleable, ready to bend to Jack’s will.
“Jack,” Liam whines again, his hands tugging at Jack’s hair.
“Bedroom?” Jack murmurs against Liam’s mouth.
Liam nods so quickly their noses bump together, and they both break into laughter. Jack pulls back to press a kiss to the tip of Liam’s nose — it’s soft and silly, and Liam has never had this before. He’s never been able to laugh like this with someone, always feeling like he needed to be on, so focused on doing the right things that he forgot to enjoy himself. But with Jack… with Jack, he thinks it might actually be fun.
“Bedroom,” he agrees, and Jack’s eyes darken with heat.
“Let’s go.”
Liam untangles his hands from Jack’s hair and instead grabs hold of his wrist. He tugs him out of the living room and down the hall, glancing back every few seconds like he’s afraid Jack will suddenly disappear. But each time he looks back, he finds Jack’s eyes on him — watching the back of his head, the stretch of his shoulders in his old alpha tauri, the ripple of his bare thighs with every step he takes.
It makes Liam feel wanted. Makes him feel desired.
As they reach Liam’s bedroom door, Jack tugs his hand back until Liam turns around to face him. Then, with one hand on Liam’s hip and the other on the door, he gently nudges Liam backward into the room.
Once he’s shut the door, Jack leans back against it, taking a moment to just look. His eyes roam slowly, lingering, unhurried as they travel over Liam, and Liam feels like a work of art being admired. He feels like something beautiful to look at and savor, even in his wrinkled shirt and boxer-briefs. The look makes his blood fizz, and he steps toward Jack with his hands outstretched, stopping only when his fingertips press into Jack’s stomach.
Liam drops to the floor between Jack’s feet, and the feeling that washes over him as he looks up… it’s like he’s kneeling at the altar of a god of his own making. But Jack looks down at him like he’s the one doing the worshipping. Like Liam is the one who’s holy. Jack places a gentle hand on Liam’s jaw, caressing his cheek with his thumb, then brushes it over the smooth space above Liam’s top lip, taking in every inch of his skin he hadn't before.
“I missed your face,” Jack says easily, as if those words don’t slide down Liam’s spine and settle in his stomach like molten lava.
Then Jack’s thumb continues to trace Liam’s face until it reaches his lips. Liam’s mouth drops open involuntarily, and he doesn’t miss the spark in Jack’s eyes.
“Sweetheart,” Jack whispers, slipping his thumb into Liam’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue as he sucks. “So fucking beautiful.”
Liam trembles, his body and mind feeling as if they’re floating — like he’s here but not fully, watching this happen to a better man than him. But then Jack is sliding his thumb out, dragging it down so Liam’s saliva spreads across his chin and cools against his skin. Then Jack holds Liam’s face in one hand, tilting it up so Liam is looking directly into his eyes.
Liam feels so desperate for him that he can’t help himself. He raises his hands, curls them around the back of Jack’s thighs, and leans forward, mouthing against the outline of Jack’s hard length. Maybe he should feel nervous — maybe a perfectionist like Liam should worry about getting it right for his first time — but the shudder that runs through Jack’s body is enough to ease any of those concerns.
“Fuck, Liam,” Jack groans, his hand moving to the back of Liam’s head to tug on his hair.
“Can I?” Liam asks.
“Yes, baby. Of course.”
The word baby drips over him like honey, and his hands tremble as he undoes Jack’s button and zip, pulling his jeans and briefs over his hips and down his thighs. Jack steps out of them, and Liam helps him remove his socks, and then… he’s confronted with the sight of Jack’s cock, hard and flushed, glistening at the tip, like he’s just as desperate for this as Liam is. It’s the first time he’s ever been this close to one that isn’t his own, and the surge of desire that rushes through him almost takes him by surprise. Almost… but this is Jack, after all. It should never be a surprise to Liam just how much he craves him.
So Liam leans forward, his tongue slipping out to steal a taste of Jack. He curls it as he licks at him, and when Jack’s hand tightens in his hair, he takes it as his cue to close his mouth around the tip. Jack feels soft and silky on Liam’s tongue, and though the taste is a little bitter, Liam finds himself wanting more. And when Jack shudders, groaning and moaning Liam’s name like a prayer, Liam lets every thought leave his head except for how good this feels and how hard he already is.
“Liam, fuck,” Jack moans. “Holy shit, sweetheart. You’re so good. So good for me.”
The words make Liam feel light-headed, a tremor rippling through his body as he palms himself through his briefs. He’s never been praised during sex before — never been told he’s good — and he hadn’t even considered that it might be something he’s into, until he hears those words on Jack’s lips. Suddenly, he wants to hear it again and again, wants to earn it by making Jack feel good.
But as he takes Jack deeper — as far as his throat will let him — Jack gently guides Liam off him. Before Liam even has a chance to worry he’s doing something wrong, Jack is pulling him up to his feet and pressing their mouths together, groaning as he tastes himself on Liam’s lips. Liam melts into Jack, sinking into his chest as Jack holds him like he’s the most precious thing in the world.
“You’re too good at that,” Jack murmurs against his lips, making Liam laugh.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Jack confirms. “But now it’s my turn.”
He maneuvers Liam toward the bed, then pushes on his shoulders until he’s sitting on the edge. Taking Liam’s face between his hands, Jack kisses him once, twice, three more times, before his hands drift down to the collar of Liam’s shirt. He tugs on it, raising a single, questioning eyebrow, but Liam just shrugs and grins at him. Then Jack’s steady, practiced hands begin to unfasten each of Liam’s buttons one by one, and it probably shouldn’t feel so intense, but with Jack, it feels borderline erotic.
He slips the shirt off Jack’s shoulders and tosses it onto the floor, then he strips off his own t-shirt and throws it there, too. And suddenly Liam is looking at all of Jack — at the tan evenly spread across his skin, and the rosy pink of his nipples. The soft curves of his belly, and the length of his cock that is still slick with Liam’s spit. He’s a fucking work of art, and it blows Liam’s mind a little to realise that a man as glorious as Jack could ever want him back. But then he’s placing his hand in the centre of Liam’s chest and pushing him backwards, and as Liam slides up the bed so he’s resting on the pillows, Jack climbs in between his open legs.
He presses a kiss to both of Liam’s ankles as he pulls off his socks, then a kiss to both of his knees. When his mouth makes it to Liam’s thighs, he bites and sucks like he’s trying to leave his mark behind — like he’s trying to stake his claim. It feels heady, and possessive, and Liam’s heart thunders dangerously fast inside his chest.
“Please,” he whimpers. “Jack… please.”
“What do you want, Liam?” He asks, his mouth so close to Liam’s cock that he can feel his breath on it. “You only have to ask.”
“Suck me,” he begs. “I need your mouth.”
It’s hot as it closes over his clothed dick, and Liam would feel ashamed of the whimper that bursts out of him if this was with anyone else. Then again, he doubts anyone else could ever make him feel like this — could make him let go so completely and give up all of his control. Jack is special, though. And here in this room, with Jack between his legs, there’s no shame or embarrassment or worry. There’s just love. So much of it that Liam can taste it with every breath that he breathes.
He gasps when Jack’s fingertips dig into his hipbones, curling beneath the waistband of his briefs so he can tug them down. Liam lifts his hips to make it easier for Jack, but he whines when the action makes him press himself against Jack’s open mouth. Jack chuckles at the sound, and at the tremor that ripples through Liam’s body. The smile he gives him — all teeth, with bright eyes and flushed cheeks and a kissed-pink mouth — is absolutely devastating.
Liam can’t stop himself from reaching down, scratching his fingers into Jack’s hair and swiping his thumb down the side of Jack’s cheek. Jack turns to press a kiss to the palm of Liam’s hand.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Jack says.
And then he closes his mouth around Liam’s bare cock, and Liam sees stars.
It feels like champagne bubbles beneath the surface of his skin, and popping candy beneath his ribs. It feels bigger, better, more, than anything has ever felt before. Liam feels alive, and breathless, and he’s never wanted anybody the way that he wants Jack. It surpasses want and burrows right into need — into a desperate, aching compulsion. And I love you is on the very tip of his tongue, but he swallows it down and instead says “More. I need more, Jack. Please.”
“So polite,” Jack teases him, as he presses a delicate kiss to the very bottom of his stomach. “Use your words and tell me what you need, Li.”
Liam almost wants to cry. As someone who’s spent his whole life ignoring his own wants and needs, to ask for something now feels almost impossible.Though, as he catches Jack’s eyes and sees the shine in them, he thinks maybe that’s exactly why Jack is doing this: he’s teaching him to want. He’s teaching him that it’s okay.
“Whatever you want, baby, I’ll give it to you.”
“I need you inside me,” Liam whispers.
He feels his cheeks flaming with colour, because to be caught in the act of wanting has always felt so embarrassing to him. But then a smile spreads across Jack’s face, and he says, “Good job, baby,” and Liam simply melts.
Jack moves so he’s hovering over Liam, and he leans down to kiss and kiss and kiss him, as he roots around in the drawer of his bedside table for…he leans back, and holds up a bottle of lube. Liam feels his cheeks heat again, and he bites his lip, but he refuses to look away from Jack.
“Are you sure?” Jack asks.
“I need you,” Liam says. “I want you.”
He wants more. Wants to be as close to Jack as he possibly can be. He’s spent years wanting to climb into Jack’s skin and burrow beneath his ribs — years wanting to merge their bodies together, like their souls already are, long before he even knew what that really meant. And he doesn’t want to wait. Not because they’re in any rush…not because he’s worried he might not get another chance at this. But because he knows, as certainly as he’s ever known anything, that this is it for him.
Jack is the only person he’ll ever love like this, and he doesn’t want to waste any more time being afraid of wanting things. Especially not when Jack is giving him permission to.
Jack sucks Liam back into his mouth, and Liam gets lost in the pleasure of it — in the slick, wet heat, and the knowledge that this is Jack making him feel so good. He flinches a little when he feels the cool lube against his skin, but as Jack begins to gently rub at his hole, Liam groans and pushes back against him.
“Greedy,” Jack taunts him, and Liam whines.
But he gives Liam what he’s asking for anyway.
“Relax for me, Li,” Jack murmurs, his lips still brushing against Liam’s cock. “You can take it.”
Jack’s words, and his sickly sweet voice, and the feeling of electricity coursing through Liam’s veins is almost too much to handle. And then Jack’s finger presses inside of him, and the slight burn — the stretch as Liam’s body adjusts — is absolutely wonderful. The moans that pour out of him are filthy, and debauched, and he’s acutely aware that he’s never felt this good in his entire life.
Jack works him open slowly and gently, his lips and tongue and mouth still working over his dick as Liam loosens around his finger. Then, as Jack slips a second finger into him, he begins to make his way up Liam’s body. He kisses along Liam’s stomach, sucking hickies into the divots of his abs. When his mouth closes around Liam’s nipple, and then his other one, Liam feels like his soul is ascending and leaving his body behind.
The sensations are all so much — Jack’s fingers inside him, and his grip on Liam’s hip, and his mouth suckling at Liam’s nipples. Liam’s body doesn’t feel like his anymore, it feels like Jack’s. And he knows it’s never been in better hands.
He should have known Jack would be like this — should have known he would give, and give, and give, even here in the bedroom. But it still takes Liam a little bit by surprise; it still steals his breath how thoroughly Jack dedicates himself to taking Liam apart. Because that’s what this feels like — like Liam is being unstitched at the seams, like he’s being unravelled by Jack’s gentle touch before he slowly puts him back together again, even better than he was before.
By the time Jack has kissed his way up Liam’s throat and is feeding him his tongue, he’s pushing a third finger inside of him. Liam whimpers, and trembles, and he bites on Jack’s lip as the stretch makes all of his nerve-endings feel like they’ve been set ablaze. He arches his chest into Jack’s, wanting to be touching him everywhere possible, and Jack — reading his mind like he always does — lowers his weight onto Liam and presses him down into the mattress.
Jack’s fingers curl inside of him and Liam cries out as they find that spot that’s never been touched before. It feels like lightning. Feels like heaven, and hell, and sin. Feels holy.
“Oh,” Jack says with a grin, then does it again. Liam gasps, one hand gripping Jack’s bicep and the other the back of his neck. “There it is. Does that feel good sweetheart?”
Liam nods. “Yes, yes Jack, please. More. I need more,” he pants. “I need you. You feel so good, baby.”
“You want me inside you?”
“Yes.”
“In here?” Jack asks, curling his fingers again until Liam is writhing and his cock is smearing precum between their stomachs.
“Yes,” Liam whimpers through gritted teeth.
“Anything for you, Liam,” Jack promises.
As he kisses Liam again, slow and sweet, and so deep Liam feels it right down to the marrow of his bones, he searches in the bedside drawer once again. But when he pulls out a condom and holds it up to show Liam, Liam takes it from between his fingers and tosses it on the floor.
“No,” he says. “I wanna feel you. Jus' you, if.. if you’re—”
“I’m clean,” Jack promises. “Are you sure?”
And Liam has never been more sure of anything in his life. So he nods his head, and pulls Jack back down to kiss him, and he rocks his hips up into Jack’s so their cocks glide together. He groans when Jack slides his fingers out of Liam’s hole, and the loss almost feels like too much — he grips Jack tighter, pulls him closer, kisses him harder, but Jack just chuckles. He slows down the kiss until it’s languid, and tender, and Liam is shaking from the gentleness of it.
Then Jack’s hands are wrapping around Liam’s thighs and pushing them back, kissing the mole on the back of his leg. And Liam feels vulnerable and exposed in a way that’s entirely new to him. But Jack looks down greedily at the scene Liam is presenting him, and he groans at the sight of it. He hooks the tip of his thumb into Liam’s hole, and Liam gasps.
“I’m tasting you here later, okay?” Jack says, and Liam almost blacks out at the thought of it.
“Okay,” Liam agrees breathlessly.
“Are you ready?” Jack asks, looking Liam right in the eyes. “We can stop at any time, okay? All you have to do is-”
“-fuck me,” Liam begs. “Jack, please. I need you inside me.”
The first press of Jack’s dick against Liam’s hole feels like the first hit of morphine when you’re in pain — it soothes an ache inside of Liam that’s been hurting him for as long as he can remember. Jack kisses him through it, as Liam’s body stretches to accommodate Jack’s, and it suddenly dawns on him that he can taste himself on Jack’s tongue. It’s dirty, and heady, and it makes his cock twitch in the space between their bodies.
Jack pulls back and looks down to watch as he slides home inside of Liam, and when he’s finally all the way in — when he’s burrowed so deep inside of Liam that he can feel him in his heart — he looks back up to him and smiles. Big, and bright, and fucking earth-shattering.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Jack whispers. “Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He lets his fingers trace Liam’s blush from his cheeks, down his throat, all the way to the centre of his chest, and then stops right over his beating heart. He presses a kiss there, and then he looks back up to Liam and says, “Are you ready?”
“Move,” Liam all but begs. “Fuck me, Jack. I need you to.”
And the thing about Jack, is that he’s never denied Liam anything. He would give him anything — everything — that he asked for and not even think twice about it, and that’s been the case for as long as they’ve known each other. So when Liam pleads for Jack to fuck him, he gives him exactly what he asks for.
He pulls out slowly, watching Liam’s face for any sign that he’s in pain, and when he finds none — when he finds only pleasure there — he rocks back into him.
Liam gasps at the intrusion, and he tangles his fingers into Jack’s hair and pulls him down. He doesn’t kiss him though, he just rests their foreheads together and breathes in Jack’s air as he begins to build a slow, steady rhythm. It’s addictive, the way the heat burns low and slow in the pit of his stomach. The sensations build and build as Jack fucks into him, until Liam is shaking and whining and desperate for more.
“Harder,” Liam demands. “Harder, Jack. I need it.”
“Yeah?” Jack asks. “You need more, baby?”
“Please,” Liam says, like it’s the only word he can seem to remember. “Please.”
His hands trail down Jack’s back, nails digging in and scratching until Jack gasps and fucks into him harder. Then he’s reaching back to snatch Liam’s hands away, lacing their fingers together and slamming them down onto the mattress. He slides their joined hands under the pillow beneath Liam’s head, and orders “keep them there.”
The command — the show of dominance — has Liam melting beneath him, and when Jack’s hand comes to rest at the base of Liam’s throat, he whines and arches up into him. He wants to reach for Jack, but he wants to be good — wants to do what Jack told him to. So he grasps at the pillow as Jack starts to fuck him in the way he’s been begging for. Not fast, still so slow that the pleasure in Liam’s body builds agonisingly. But Jack is thrusting into him so hard that the headboard starts to rattle, and Liam’s body begins to sing.
And while one of Jack’s hands remains at the base of his throat — not squeezing, just holding him there like he owns him — he reaches the other one up and he curls it around the top of Liam’s head so he doesn’t bang it against the headboard.
It’s ridiculous, and it’s embarrassing, but the gesture is so sweet and caring and intimate, that tears begin to blur his vision. He has to squeeze his eyes shut so Jack doesn’t see them and worry — so he doesn’t stop. But Jack clearly doesn’t want him to look away, because he tuts under his breath and bites gently at the curve of Liam’s jaw.
“Give me those eyes, sweetheart,” Jack commands, and Liam is helpless to do anything but obey.
As he opens his eyes the tears he’d been trying to hide leak out, dripping from the corner and sliding down the sides of his face. Liam’s breath hitches, and he whimpers at the look in Jack’s eyes when he sees that Liam is crying. A flash of concern passes over his face, and his hips stutter like he’s about to stop, so Liam wraps his legs around Jack’s waist and squeezes his thighs.
“Don’t stop,” he begs. “I’ll die. I’ll die if you stop.”
The dramatics would probably be humiliating if Liam stopped to think about the words spilling out of his mouth. But he’s so overwhelmed with pleasure that all he can think about is keeping Jack inside of him — is never letting him go.
And then Jack is leaning forwards and capturing Liam’s mouth in a kiss that absolutely wrecks him. He whispers, “You’re so good, baby. Taking it so well for me,” and Liam writhes, and cries, and surrenders his body, and mind, and his heart to Jack.
“Jack,” Liam whimpers, desperate and frantic. He’s not sure what he’s asking for — not sure what he needs — but he knows that Jack will find a way to give it to him anyway.
“I’ve got you, Liam,” Jack promises. “I’ll take care of you. You’re doing so good, baby. So perfect for me.”
The hand on his throat tightens just a little, and Jack pegs his prostate, and then Liam is cumming — completely untouched, with a silent gasp on his lips as he trembles through his release. And as his body shakes, and he tightens around Jack, he feels Jack cumming too… feels him fill Liam in a way that makes him feel more whole than he’s ever done in his life.
More tears slip from his eyes, and then Jack is leaning down to kiss them away, and it’s so sweet that Liam needs to hold him. He moves his hands from where Jack had placed them beneath the pillow, and he winds them around Jack. With his legs still wrapped around his back he tugs, and Jack lets out a soft laugh as he lets his weight fall onto Liam.
“That was…” Liam pants, trailing off because he can’t quite find the words to describe it.
“Yeah, yeah it was,” Jack agrees. “You were perfect, Liam.”
Liam snatches a kiss and says, “So were you. Thank you.” The smile Jack gives him in return is a thing of absolute beauty.
Jack is slow and careful as he pulls his softening cock out of Liam, and then he flops down beside him. Liam hadn’t wanted them to separate — had wanted to keep Jack inside of him forever — but Jack doesn’t pull away. He leans on his elbow and slips his free hand between Liam’s legs, using his fingers to push his cum back inside of Liam in a move that feels so filthy - so territorial — that Liam throws his head back and groans.
Jack leans down and kisses Liam’s exposed throat, biting at the underside of his jaw, until his lips press against Liam’s again, and again, and again.
“Jack, I…”
He reaches his hand up and tugs on the sweat-slick curl that falls down over Jack’s forehead, making Jack laugh and pretend to bite at Liam’s fingers as he pulls away. Liam laughs too, loud and carefree and easy.
“I love you, Jack,” Liam confesses.
“I love you, too.”
And Liam still isn’t quite ready to believe that he deserves this, but he’s going to take it anyway. He’s going to grasp it between both hands and never let it go. Because even if Liam doesn’t think he’s worthy of him, Jack clearly seems to think that he is, and there’s nobody in this world that he trusts more than Jack.
“You’re my last,” Jack says. “You’re my always.”
And Liam likes the sound of that.
