#jdean

[poppins-me]

[avengingxmarine]

[June 21st: ]

[: Headcanon time:

John never taught Dean what he really needed to know to survive the torture in hell.  He treated them like soldiers- but not to the extent he was trained.  He was trained not to give out secrets under torture conditions, even if it wasn’t as intense as some fields or positions give him.  But as strict as he was, and as much as he could do, he couldn’t put his kids through that training.  They were kids, after all, and it was bad enough he had to train them to do what he did.

But he did train them on other things, that could be hard to do.  How to escape being tied up- if possible, how to effectively tie other’s up, quick use of handcuffs, etc, etc.  While he might play as if he wasn’t paying attention so they wouldn’t try to slack off and get him to help, he was always in the same room, and always pestered by the other brother- even silently- to interfere if it went on for too long.  And he always rewarded them with ice cream or something if they managed to do so.

The worse was teaching Sam to escape from car trunks.  He taught Dean, but it was more formality, where Sam was at more of a threat, and much more needed to be known.  After all, the kid was being hunted by hunters, and the people dead because of him, and the shrtiga, and the science teacher demon thing that tried to take him, and then he talked to strangers in cars following that?  The kid was a special level of optimist.  The first time he hovered by the car trunk, telling him what to do, especially since the kid wasn’t even ten- with Dean insisting they let him out after only a minute or so.  But after several times when Sam managed to escape on his own, the kid was so damn proud of himself, he forgot to ask why he had to learn it that time. :]

[avengingxmarine]

Dean turns fourteen today.  He took off to the movies with a girlfriend.  I think her name was Katie.  Quite the ladykiller, that kid.  Like I was at his age.  Hell-raising, foul-mouthed, full of piss and vinegar.  Silas had it right: he's like me.  If I'm not careful with him, by the time he's twenty he'll have left a trail of kids and arrest warrants all over the country.

January 24th, 1993

John’s Journal

[avengingxmarine]

It [The shape shifter] looked like Ichi, a hunter H took me out with.  We were looking for a heeler, a kind of...something.  Not a man.  It attacks, kills, then springs away before anyone can react.  Springheel Jack, Jack the Ripper, was a heeler, according to H.  But H is the same guy who had be roll Jacob into a quarry, still alive.  He was going to die, I know he was going to die, but he was still alive.But then tonight, Dean walked out of the roadhouse right when I put the final bullet into the shape-shifter's head.  And he said, Why'd you kill him, Dad?How am I supposed to answer that?  Because he wasn't a man, he was a monster who looked like a man?  My boy walked out the door and saw me shoot someone in the head.  Maybe I'm the monster who looks like a man.

November 20th, 1983

John’s Journal

[avengingxmarine]

Dean still hardly talks.  I try to make small talk, or ask him if he wants to throw the baseball around.  Anything to make him feel like a normal kid again.  He never budges from my side - or from his brother.  Every morning when I wake up, Dean is inside the crib, arms wrapped around baby Sam.  Like he's trying to protect him from whatever is out there in the night.

November 16th, 1983

John’s Journal

[avengingxmarine]

Dean's sixth birthday.  It's been more than a year since he saw me kill a shape-shifter.  He doesn't ask about it anymore.  And he stopped asking when he's going to go to school.  I tried to do it last fall, but I couldn't.  I just couldn't risk it.  Maybe this year, now that he's a little older, now that he knows a little more about things.  I've been teaching him.  Not the worst stuff, but enough so he knows that there are things that go bump in the night.

January 24th, 1985

John’s Journal

[unspokenfeelings7]

My 1st Anniversary here at JDEAN Family. 

Thankyou Lord. alam ko na nasa tamang church na po ako at nasa tamang tao na partner ko. patuloy akong magpapasalamat sayo Lord araw araw. dahil kahit na alam ko sa sarili na di ako matuwid at madalas nagkakasala, hindi nawawala yung grace na binibigay nyo po sa amin. 

Samahan nyo pa po ako Lord sa lahat ng pagdadaanan namin sa buhay. nawa magtuloy tuloy na ito hanggang dulo. I love you Lord & I love you Babe. <3

08.07.22 

[avengingxmarine]

Bingo. California, New Jersey, Arizona. House fires. In each case, a mother killed and one of the survivors a six-month-old baby. Need to go back and see if there were others on 11/2/83. Either way, this is a hard lead. Looking at locations, survivors, other associated phenomena. Unusual weather, spikes in violence or crime. Any of those things can signify demonic involvement. But the fires are enough. Six of them, within a couple of days, each with a six-month-old involved. You gave yourself away, you bastard.      Almost twenty-two years I've been after you. It's not going to be twenty-three. I'm going to look into your yellow eyes and watch you die.      I want to tell the boys, but won't just yet. Dean might go off half-cocked, and Sammy... I was about to write that he wouldn't care. Maybe that's not true. But he might not care enough, and I don't think I could stand knowing that.

July 20th, 2005

John’s Journal