ANYWAY, I got to talking about what I want in a relationship, and one of the things I said I never wanted to be was one of those "we" couples. The ones that have to spend every free moment together. That, when living apart, have to sleep together every night. That's not me. But another thing I was talking about was that I want someone that understands that I, like my mother, am awful at separating my work life and home life completely. I'm one of those people that if I'm stressed at work, I can't exactly drop that all at the door and be a completely separate person. So what I was saying is that I want someone that doesn't feel like they have to walk on eggshells when they hear me coming home from work. I don't want them to be worried about me "snapping" over something elementary.
In my ideal relationship, I see that situation going is roughly like this: I'll walk in the door, and he will greet me. Whether it be a simple hello, or a hug and peck on the cheek isn't necessarily relevant. And if he notices I'm stressed and on the verge of snapping at any moment, he will calmly look me in the eyes and reason with me. He'll tell me something along the lines of, "I know that work is stressful. But listen, you're home now, and I'm here. So if you need to go to the bedroom and just cool down a bit, maybe take a shower, anything that will kind of give you some time to relax, go right ahead. I'll be here waiting when you're done." That would mean the world to me. Just to have somebody understand that I don't handle stress at an Olympic gold medal level. That there is the possibility that I can snap about the littlest things doesn't necessarily bother them because they know me and they know that deep down, it's all trivial. Then once I've gone off and cooled off, they'll be right there just doing their own thing.
What was great about the convo was that my cousin brought up a valid point: what I want in a relationship is the idea of freedom, but the emotional stability of the relationship. They would understand that when I get home, I may need the time to just be by myself and gather my thoughts, but then when I'm ready, they're there. They'll know that I want to do my own thing, but they'll also know that when it comes down to it, their in my life for a reason. I want them there. It's funny when I think about things that I say like that, and I realize how AQUARIUS that is of me. Everything I read about aquarius is that in relationships we don't want to feel stifled. We don't want to feel like we're losing ourselves. We want the idea of freedom, of individuality, even though we are in a committed relationship with another person. Even though we may be a "we" in the public eye, it's because we work together at a basic level as individuals. There is a mutual understanding.
So to sum up this long-winded, word-vomit rant, I would like to say three things:
My cousin Elena is a majestic human being.
I'm very proud that I am projecting that out.
