Sam: Hey man, I heard about what happened with Harvard and I was only told because Layla is currently in my care. I wanted you to know that I've spoken with her and I'd like to talk to you about everything, but I wanted to give you and Rachel a chance to speak to Fiona first if you wanted to. Either way, we'll see each other tomorrow, right?
Sam: Hey man, I never thanked you for letting me stay with you and I'm sorry that my marital issues have started effecting you. Please don't believe anything an anon says to you, or anything Grey, Mercedes' producer/manager, says.
Sam: And if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm your friend too, alright? You can always talk to me.
SUMMARY Look the title pretty much says it all. turns out Jesse’s got a secret child and shit was awkward. Fun factoid for all the scientists in the house, it seems that an irrational distrust of horses might be genetic.
TRIGGERS --
Jesse had no idea what he was doing. Literally he felt like he was about to walk into the complete unknown and had no idea what to do about it. Ever since finding the letter his world had been completely wrecked, between Rachel not wanting to even be with him and overall not wanting to address the situation Jesse was pretty much fucked no matter what he did. He had to meet this kid though, really meet him so he decided that a sit down meeting was in order. If anything he had to know if it was really true. So he set up a space and arrived their fifteen minutes before their time and sat down and just stared at his hands. When one rolled around he heard the door open and shut and he looked up to see Rocco. Being the gentleman he was, Jesse stood up and reached out his hand to shake. "Thanks for meeting me."
Rocco had been freaking out about today since it became an official plan. It felt dumb, what was the point of stressing about what some random dude, who happened to impregnant his mom? It was pretty obvious Jesse wasn't all that interested in getting to know Rocco. Probably thought he was making it up for the hush money or something, but he wasn't and if he was asked why he even bothered doing this, he wasn't sure what he'd say. Didn't matter now, it was time to get this show on the road. Walking into the library, Rocco has to stop and ask a librarian for directions to the meeting rooms. Finally getting there, he opened the door and if it had been anyone else, in any other situation, he'd have laughed at how formal Jesse was. Like he was Rocco's lawyer and they were there t discuss his plea bargain or something. "Uh, yeah, no problem." He said sitting down across from the man, and he just.... stared completely lost for words.
Jesse shook his hand before sitting down, his leg bouncing nervously as he just stared at the table trying to think of something to say. What felt like forever passed before he ran his fingers through his hair and looked up. "I'm sorry." Jesse said simply knowing that he needed to explain more to it but needing to get the words out.
Rocco quirked an eyebrow and was silently grateful that the silence didn't last very long. "Sorry for what?" He asked honestly. It wasn't like Jesse had asked for this, granted neither had his mother and quite frankly, neither had he, but here they were. Father and son, whether either of them liked it.
Jesse stammered trying to think of what to say but not sure how to say well anything. "Just sorry." He mumbled more frustrated with himself more than anything at this point. "I just... I don't know."
Rocco shifted in his seat, before clearing his throat. "I don't want or anything from you and uhh... I'm not accepting that check from your wife. I did what I did 'cause my mom thought you oughta know. Didn't think you'd tell anyone, didn't really think much of it at all." That last bit had been more of a revelation than something he'd meant to say out loud.
Jesse nodded slowly. "I don't know what I want." He said honestly before clearing his throat. "You should accept the check though, it's only right and even if we, uh, didn't know about each other, I still wish I had known." Jesse said just trying to form words. "I would have been there for you, but back then and how..." He stopped himself. "I'd like to make up for lost time and not just with money."
Rocco had known, more or less, the circumstances surrounding his conception. Known he was a mistake, not that his mom or any of his family ever referred to him as such. His uncle always said, You're not a mistake. The family, and your mom, just expanded a little earlier than planned. At the mention of the check, something flared up in Rocco. It was partially pride, but it was something else too, and when he heard Jesse say he wanted to make up having not been there, Rocco felt himself get defensive. "I appreciate the gestures, and I know I didn't grow up with all the stuff your kids did, probably had less than you did, but I always had what I needed. Still do. So keep your money, hell, keep your time because I don't need it and it ain't owed to me."
Jesse didn't say much for a few seconds not really sure what to say. "Why tell me then?" He finally asked. "If you don't want to know me or whatever, why leave a note in my tent and make a complete wreck of my life? My wife is considering divorce for something I didn't tell her happened when we were broken up."
Rocco should have known that would be the question that was asked of him. You know, the one question he's mentally said he wasn't prepared to answer. Except he knew why he'd done it. For his mom. It had literally been her dying wish that he meet his father, not to rock the boat, but to try an regain a sense of family, when he had been robbed so early of his. "Sounds like you shoulda told your wife." Sighing, he really wasn't in a fighting mood. "Look I told you, 'cause if it were me, I'd wanna know."
Jesse shrugged. "It wasn't something to tell." He definitely wasn't going to talk about that with him. "It's one thing to tell someone but a completely other to dismiss their advances, kid." Jesse said as he sat back in his chair because well this was interesting.
Rocco "I don't know what you're talking about." Also he just didn't need to feel like he was completely out of control in this situation. "What exactly did you wanna have this meeting for anyway?"
Jesse ran his fingers through his hair nervously. This wasn't going well at all. "To ask for a paternity test, first of all." He said honestly. "Not that I don't believe you because I do but I have to be sure." He stated. "And to say that if I had known... if I had known you wouldn't have grown up not knowing me."
Rocco understood him wanting to make sure for himself and he gave him a couple of points in the, not-a-dick, column for believing he wasn't lying about it all. "She almost told you, when I was like two, but she had her reasons for not and she had her reasons for wanting you to know now."
Jesse nodded. "I'm sorry you lost her." He said softly and sincerely. "I would like to get to know you now, not just to make up for lost time either. If you are indeed my son, I don't turn my back against family. My own had a tendency to do that and I made a promise that none of my kids would ever be put through that.. That includes you now too."
Rocco stared at him for a moment, considering his words before giving a slight nod in understanding. Leaning back in his chair, finally feeling a bit more relaxed, he cracked his knuckles out of habit. "Okay, what do you wanna know?"
Jesse just blinked at him. He hadn't thought of any questions. He hadn't thought of much to say at all. "Uh- What's your favorite color?" He asked and then immediately winced at himself because really? He was an award winning playwright and that was the best he could do? "Just the basics is fine.."
Rocco smiled a bit at the question, maybe he wasn't the only one struggling to keep it together. "Uh, I was born first of April, not really a fan of cake, competitive bowler, use to be fluent in Italian, my Nona wouldn't accept any other language at her place and I don't really have a favorite color, but yellow ain't half bad, oh and horses creep me out."
Jesse took mental notes of everything that he was saying just wanting to remember it in the future. "Bowling, really?" He asked as he cocked an eyebrow at him. "Horses are terrifying so I guess we have that in common."
Rocco "Use to be a pitcher in high school, but uhh, that didn't work out. Guess I missed throwing a ball. Plus it's good food and old people are awesome." Not sure how to feel about them having anythign in common he just cleared his throat. Honestly, he didn't think he'd find anything they shared, nature versus nurture right? Rocco always thought nurture was definitely stronger, but maybe no matter what, you couldn't escape your nature. "It's the eyes, something ain't right with 'em there."
Jesse "Baseball and bowling feel like two very different things." He said with a small chuckle. "If you like it though, that's good." Jesse said not sure exactly how to connect with him. "Is there zero chance of you being interested in Broadway?" He asked just curious. "They're just huge and that's about it.
Rocco shrugged, "They both require precision throwing, so that's something." Thinking about it, he wondered if his mom had a love for Broadway before she'd met Jesse or if it developed after that whole situation. The situation, he supposed, being him. "My mom, she liked it and I don't hate it. I mean I went a couple of times with my mom and my uncle when I was a kid."
Jesse nodded though he didn't understand at all. Sports weren't something he was interested in at all. "Okay, I'll take that answer I suppose." He murmured as he rubbed the back of his neck the awkwardness starting once again.
Rocco "I don't know if it matters to you or not, but I grew up with a lot of good stuff. My mom and my uncle and my Nona, they were good people and they loved me. I grew up without a lot, I guess, but I did have people in my corner doing everything they could for me." That was one of the bullet points in his mom's letter. Making sure Jesse knew Rocco had been loved and cared for, that him not being there didn't ruin Rocco's life. He almost didn't tell him, because it made it seem like he wasn't necessary, but he thought he understood now, why his mom wanted him to know that.
Jesse smiled softly, that was good to hear. It meant that his absence hadn't messed him up an that was one of the problems he had when thinking about the situation. "Family matters more than money." He told him knowing that if he had grown up with less money and more family time that he may have been a different person.
Rocco nodded in agreement. In his experience, how ever little it may be, when rich people say stuff like that it's because they know from experience and that made him curious about that side of the family. "What were your folks like?"
Jesse made a face before sighing. "My folks were the definition of distant for us kids. I have an older sister and a younger brother. I was ultimately the favorite, I'm the most talented and held the most promise so it wasn't really that surprising." He murmured with a small shrug. "We had a lot of money though and a chef and a main, at one point we had a nanny but I.. well she didn't last long." He stated. "They were okay though, they still are. We got closer as I got older and they didn't have to actually parent me. I'm a lot closer to my Uncle, he still lives around here though he's not doing well these days."
Rocco found it weird that parents would have a favorite kid, isn't that like something you're not suppose to have and if you do you're not suppose to be so obvious about it that your kids know. Probably fucked up his siblings knowing they'd never get the same kind of attention, Jesse did, but it probably sucked being the one with all the pressure too. All around just sounds pretty suckish. "You have a favorite kid?"
Jesse shook his head. "No, I made a lot of promises to myself when I had kids, the first was to not be my parents." He stated. "I mean they're both spoiled but that also comes from Rachel so it's not all on me. They have two parents that want to be parents more than pay their kids off."
Rocco took notice of the flash drive in his hand. It had his mom's letter on it, not the one to him, but the one she wanted Rocco to give Jesse. Contemplating for a moment, he put it back in his pocket, he wasn't ready for Dad to know all of his mistakes and he knew his mom would have asked Jesse to look out for him but he was scared he'd do the opposite.Instead he readjusted hismelf in his seat so he was sitting up straighter, face neutral. "So what's the deal, you wanna meet at this place once a week and talk for an hour? 'Cause anyone could see us here and say something to this gossip blog thing..."
Jesse raised an eyebrow. "Do you feel the need to meet once a week and interview each other?" He asked because that wasn't exactly what he wanted. "The gossip blog is the least of my worries right now." She had his wife to deal with. "How about we like play it by ear or whatever. We'll set up the test and meet for it and then not rush everything else."
Rocco got up with a smiled, "Doing shi--- uh stuff, by ear is pretty much how I live my life." Shoving his hands in his pockets he was reminded of the flash drive again, but continued to act as if it didn't exist. Gonna play that by ear too, sorry ma. He decided. "Just text me or something to give me the info on the test thing."
Jesse nodded and stood up. "It was- uh, nice to talk to you." He said sincerely. "I'll be in touch."
Rocco nodded and involuntarily waved. Involuntary, because who would voluntarily wave at the end of this kind of meeting? "Yeah, cool." He said and grabbed his motorcycle helmet off the floor before making his exit.
PM: Mr. Calabria, I will be going out of town on business immediately following the camping trip, but was wondering if you could prepare a list of dates you'd be available to meet on. Preferably around lunch time but I am flexible for all times a day as I work from home. Thank you, Signed, Jesse St. James
PM: You can just call me Rocco, Mr. Calabria sounds weird and overly formal. The school’s closed for the next two weeks, so anytime that’s best for you. Sorry if I caused any issues, that wasn’t what I wanted.
Dear Mr. St. James,
My name is Rocco, well you already know that, I think, maybe not, s’not like i handed this to you face to face--
What’s up Jesse,
Rocco here, just wanted to let you know some pretty important stuff about like why I’m here and whatever--
Jesse St. James,
They say that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get, but mystery solved you got me as a son. Congrats or not---
Mr. St. James,
You ARE the father--
Hey Mr. St. James,
Sorry I didn’t give this to you in person, or say this in person, but I thought a letter might be easier for you. You know let you react and respond how ever you feel like it.
Anyway, about twenty years ago you had a one night thing with a Nicki Calabria and I guess condoms weren’t a thing and well she got pregnant, with me. I’m your son. I didn’t know until like eight months ago, when my mom passed away. She left me some stuff including a letter, it had your name and a picture of you, explaining who you were.
I get that this is probably really obnoxious or something but it was basically my mom’s dying wish that I know you and you know me. Sorry it took me so long to say something, I just didn’t know how to drop something like this on someone.
Signed,
Rocco Calabria
