#jhong

[horizon5adventure]

Looking back to the Thorung La over the village of Jhong on the Annapurna circuit in the Mustang region of Nepal. November 2018

[superjuniorbaes]

thoughts,

I wasn’t sure how I would react to this comeback - i’m still not quite sure how I feel about it now that it’s coming to a close. and by “not sure,” I mean I just feel a variety of emotions. I was happy - and still am - to see that the boys are okay. it’s nice to see them content and enjoying each other’s company and that of their fans. I feel like they’re so much more at ease and comfortable with displaying who they are to the general public. but then again, no matter how many times I see them as 4, it’s still strange for me. I still feel as if my heart’s about to burst with happiness whenever I see them, but it’s also bridled with an overwhelming sense of melancholy because I still really miss jonghyun - and there are just so many memories there, you know? I think i’ve come to terms with his death, and respect his decision. but I find myself wondering how he would’ve fit into this comeback....what songs he would’ve produced. what kind of hair color he would’ve sported. what new interactions he would have with the members and the fans. it pains me to know that he truly will never be coming back, and that we’ll never be able to hear new content from him - regardless of whether or not it’s new music or just a simple update about his life. although it’s already been 6 months, I still miss him just as much. and I wonder if this void and sense of loss will ever fade. I think it’s hard because it’s a sense of loss for his life. it makes me sad to think that he suffered for so long without any proper help. i’m frustrated with myself because I don’t always want to just feel sad whenever I think about him...i’m ready to also remember him fondly. it’s so hard though because I still feel like something could’ve been done to prevent this from happening. he just deserved so much better. he’s like a flame gone out too soon...he still just had so much spark left. I know thinking of hypotheticals will get me nowhere, but I suppose I just can’t help it. I really do hope and pray that his soul is at peace now.

[horizon5adventure]

A yak kharka (paddock) in the desert on the border of upper Mustang north of Jhong on the Annapurna circuit. November 2018

[superjuniorbaes]

you know, I feel like Taemin is such a naturally reserved, calm person. but I feel like he transforms whenever he’s around the other members. ya’ll can quote me on this, but I think they bring out the best in him <3

[superjuniorbaes]

I know our boys don’t really care about winning and trophies, but damn they deserve to win this. so c’mon guys, pls vote

https://www.mwave.me/en/mcountdown/prevoting/vote

all ya’ll have to do is create an account (you can cut time by just signing up with your social media accounts) and then vote. I have the link for it above. c’mon guys, let’s support our boys! one vote everyday counts!

[superjuniorbaes]

jonghyun deserved better

[superjuniorbaes]

I miss Jonghyun

in 2016, Jonghyun seemed so much more adamant about wanting to go through life. to live. I saw this video clip exactly a year before his passing of him at his Inspiration concert basically saying how he wanted to live on in the future and create memories with the boys and us. and I wonder what could’ve went wrong in the span of 1 year? these are thoughts that constantly plague me, and I almost wish that I could ask him...

it’s like I miss him more and more every day. it’s still hard for me to wrap my head around the reality of this situation. the more I think about it, the more my heart aches for he and his loved ones. 

[superjuniorbaes]

one of those nights...

how is he really not here? with every waking moment that passes by, I just seem to miss him more and more everyday. it’s been almost 3 months, but it feels like a whole lifetime has passed by. I keep trying to imagine a future without him...and it’s so hard guys. I feel like my chest is about to explode.