#jia.writing

[suntara]

someone in someplace, somewhere is thinking about you

this poem is happening in someplace, somewhere where even flipping coins always leads to a head, a head-start, a rikshaw race down british-s

writing i missed you so so much

[suntara]

this city

in continuum

I apologise for being fucking deranged

[suntara]

a love as fast as a camera click

an open love letter/diary entry to the class of 2024

:>

[suntara]

khilna

a time capsule, opened and unraveled

IM BACK AGAIN

[suntara]

”catastrophical” by @pari-prince​ / do not repost / please click on the image for higher quality !

[sky story]

I'll catch these moments in a postcard racing over cigarette dust roads, it's a Wednesday summer evening and I'm holding fate's hand willingly. we're kicking these old streets till the foundation cracks (we're the strongest we've ever been) we're setting our paper aeroplane love on fire burning titanium suns into sunsets welding wings onto ourselves with the stray embers and soaring

slipping over skyscrapers; our loosely stitched hearts, they're getting caught on clothing lines and balconies and billboards fragments of our lost love litter train tracks and airports and parkings we touch the tip of the universe and in between every celestial hesitance your reflection overlaps over mine, promising us eternality

believe in our kaleidoscopic catastrophe, for the eighty thousandth time i promise you'll end up laughing (these days we're always laughing) I promise we will be icarus forever this time and the next and next and next and next time

[seasong]

stay with me, in our drowning prologue there are rocks in our bellies and eighty thousand faces between every eighth note of the dead seasong we shoulder the universe from the bottom of the sea (we're the strongest we've ever been). it's a wednesday summer night and i am putting my ear to a conch shell  in it all i hear is our laughter, (these days we are always laughing) we dot abandoned ships with coughed up stolen city stars, and slip into seadance

we swim endlessly and our seamless hearts unravel like vegetables in a flimsy bag they lose themselves to a starcrossed song with choirs of jellyfish, sonnets of salmon and epiphanies of flying cod a melodical magical phenomenon, they are we touch the center of the universe and in between every cosmic anomaly your name overlaps mine, promising us mortality

believe in me, your favourite bottlecap believer we will be fossils forever and we will hope like we have two hearts, catastrophically

[suntara]

"my mandarina" by @suntara - do not repost

meet me in the back, my mandarina

let's live in lost colours tonight

spend constellations undressing

every similie this song has to offer

one day we'll have our own

tangerine corvette and double doors

I'll tattoo my secrets between my fingers and

you can find fragments of my love

in the peel of half eaten oranges

let's runaway from these

runaway rundown towns

be my world, my inconsequential,

my ones, my twos, my eights

let's pretend we're shadow puppets

bound to a black and white

let's pretend this convenience store

is a ballroom

bound to a refraction

I'm terminally ill with the human condition,

this heartbeat highway has nothing on

our rundown tangerine truck

this world has nothing on

the bag of oranges in the back

on us, on forever, on cloud nine

and ten and eleven and twelve

want to dance in the rain with me?

when the citylights shift under the

dusty asphalt roads

and building love songs dim

let's keep singing in the car

to that one song

I'd invent all over again (for you)

i love you like a wooden spoon

i love you like a family recipe

you love me like the secret ingredient

a million memories paint my face

and you know every last one

in my mothertongue's missteps

we're terminally ill with rememberence

of friends, foe, flora, fondness, flaws

eight years, a thousand miles away

we make castles out of cardboard boxes today

recycle them tomorrow, take out the trash

feed the cat, give the neighbours their cookbook back

we read out our pretentious poetry

to each other,

whisper them between cardboard windows and

cardboard curtains

we'll take in the universal experiences

between our wor(l)ds

we'll build them cardboard nurseries that will

grow into cardboard bedrooms

we'll raise them as our own,

give them your surname

my eyes, your hands, my smile

we'll make them forever, make them always

do their laundry, feed them oranges

wash the stains from their shadows and

polish their shoes

good morning my mandarina,

i want to read our living room floor with you

like the daily newspaper

I'll find carpet stains from spilled orange juice and

you'll find dents from the weight of

that coffee table your dad gave us long ago

this poem isn't about love,

but love is all over it like

lipstick kisses on collars

fingerprints on flowers, rain on city windows

we're terminally ill with a love that will outlast us

there's never going to be another forever

like this one

there's never going to be another forever

i want to remember like this one

(everyday is a fairytale with you)

in another universe,

where there's no running away

I'll write your name on my palms

and pray till it remembers mine

[suntara]

untitled kitchen heartsong 

do not repost + image description under the cut 

I unfurled an onion like a rug

and shadows spilled over the cutting board

dandelions ripen between the gaps

of your teeth,

you smile and

I make every thousandth wish

the lines on my palms and

your smile wrinkles and

scallions, cabbage, capsicum

and carrots boil into one broth

(and an untold nothing sneaks in between

the gaps in everyday leaky sunsets

silhouettes of stray eyelashes and

every hundredth shooting star)

you claim every creek in the floor

as your own hot and sour love song

the pot pops and bursts

like leaves shooting out of their stems

slow growing like a mad comet

this epiphany won't

be ours to peel open one day

the ripening in our phrases

will one day be someone else's rotten compost

the cheap tinkering lightbulbs flicker and dim

(and our untold everythings

wobble into our dusky starstruck kitchen;

ebb themselves onto

our chipped yellow pantries and fuse with us

scratching our love onto the foundation of

this dingy starlit studio apartment.)

everyday untold somethings (you and I)

the two of us,

make these ordinaries more

extraordinary than we think

welcome to my origami epilogue, jaan

the steam from our soup wobbles over the cap

and crawls between

the gaps between our toes and fingers

and blossoms our worries away

I'll trade my hands with yours 

you can chop the garlic, I can be brave

we can fret over salt, another day

(you're swinging your legs on the counter and

letting your feet babble simmering melodies

on your behalf

I bring one bowl, for one soup

for you and for me, for us

for tonight, for love, for giving )

[suntara]

we are this tragedy / we act in this tragedy

image description under the cut + do not repost

we are this tragedy

I peel the sun like a tangerine and hand you a slice / we feast on the cosmos tonight / cherry picking stars and / eating small bites of the moon till it crescents / with fancy spoons we don't know how to use

sitting upright, I fold my bandaged legs / like mom does to fresh laundry / on a tuesday afternoon / where honeyed rays of light / splash against the grass like raindrops / petrichocheting

it's evening now, clinking our glasses /

we drink distilled asteroids / the same ones that killed the dinosaurs / we traded one lung each with a dead poet / and now the dust we breathe settles in our ribs / haunting our anatomy / graying our bones / like mom to this kitchen

this same kitchen dreamt of / our soft heartbeat like footsteps on this kitchen marble floor / it dreamt of sticky sun pulp dripping from our fingers onto it's counters / we put on our ballet shoes and we dance to the running tap/ drunk off the end of the world /

I ask you who we are mourning tonight

                                  and you slice the sky into two

we act in this tragedy

you make me hold up a flashlight / as you paint / bare-boned by the creek / the waves frantically imitating your paint strokes / there's nothing special / about the last darkening tonight

you dare to duel time / striking the canvas / as if you are fighting in a pretend-war / like the ones we had / where you and I / stood in your backyard / clashing sticks we tied (like fate) / to swords with rubber bands / that we stole from our mothers / knees bleeding / we called it a truce every time / adorning hastily made fishbone and seashell crowns /  

you pray to your art / beg to a god who doesn't listen / you beg regardless / devote yourself to your craft / one final time

hunched over / you cocoon yourself into the canvas / like a receding butterfly / raindrops buckling the canvas / you dip your paintbrush into        

your bruised knees / and suddenly / the sky is bleeding

the weatherman croaks about demons scouring the streets / you grip the wooden frame tightly / as you lose yourself to a dance with the end of the world / your calloused fingers like ballet shoes / welded onto a music box dancer's feet /

your only music is the snapping rain / and tree branches falling apart like old friends /

the asteroids that killed the dinosaurs /

will kill us tonight / our end hangs over us / latched onto a fallen constellation /

"who will mourn us", I ask you

    and an asteroid falls and rips the sky into two