Whispers
This was supposed to be my submission for #jilyshipweek @hpshipweeks but I procrastinated. A lot. But here it is anyway. Hope you like it!
Rating: T
Word Count: 3519
Read it on AO3
It was probably the lumpy uncomfortable bed and the faint smell of nasty tasting potions that was somehow very familiar that James deduced he must be in the hospital wing. His head was pounding, breathing was labored and painful, and he could feel something heavy pinning his left leg to the bed. He tried opening his eyes or moving his hand but they wouldn’t budge. His mind felt fuzzy, and he couldn’t remember where he was before landing himself here.
Someone violently sniffed beside him. James could sense some kind of movement on his right before there was a soft touch on his right hand. The person, assuming the source was indeed a human being, grabbed his hand and interlocked his fingers with their own. He felt another hand on top of the interlocked one, and then something warm and familiar. A set of lips. A lingering kiss. Lily.
“Lily, he’ll be fine,” a deep voice said from his left. Sirius sounded tired. “It’s just some cuts and bruises, really.”
“Do these look like mere bruises from a sodding quidditch match to you?!” screeched Lily. Her voice almost broke at the end.
“Lily, you’ve got to calm down, Madam Pompfrey said he’ll be okay.” Remus’ throaty voice insisted.
“But why didn’t you both run?” Lily asked, in no mood of calming down.
“Because he’s James sodding Potter. The same reason Dumbledore found it fit to make the tosser Head Boy. I may have taken the mickey of him, but that man certainly knew what he was doing,” Sirius chuckled. “We were running,” he continued after a beat and sighed. “He just stopped near the staircase to usher some second years in that corridor out of harm’s way. The fire hit in the chest just as he tumbled down the entire flight of stairs.”
Lily did not reply and there was silence for a moment.
“What was it? The fire, I mean. I’ve never seen McGonagall so terrified.” Lily inquired.
“I don’t know, but it was bloody terrifying.” Sirius replied and gulped.
“Fiendfyre.” Remus said promptly, and there was a moment of pin drop silence.
“Pray tell, Remus, how do know this?”
“I may have accidentally on purpose borrowed a book from the restricted section last year and I came across it.” Remus said in a small voice without a hint of guilt over breaking school rules.
“But isn’t that, like, dark magic?” asked another small voice. Peter?
“Yes.”
“But I don’t understand how..”
“Fiendfyre is fairly easy to conjure, if you know the right incantation and wand movement. It’s difficult to control, that’s what makes it the fire deadly.” Remus explained.
“But how in Merlin’s pants did they get their hands on such information?” Sirius asked, worry clear in his voice.
“How do you think?”
“Are they.. really.. but..”
“Seems like our doubts were right.”
“But Voldemort wouldn’t dare recruit children right under the nose of Dumbledore.”
“It’s basically a family business, you know that Sirius. Who is Dumbledore to object when their parents are encouraging it?”
“No, even Voldemort wouldn’t be that thick. Besides, what good would Avery do?”
“Probably set everyone on fire.” Remus quipped and all three boys roared with laughter.
“I wish he would send me an invite to join his little clan. I’d accept just to spit in his face when he welcomes me.”
“And that would be the tragic end of the older son of the noble house of Black.” Remus sang, his voice changing octaves.
“Tragic, my arse. I’d die a hero. The boy who literally spit in the face of dark magic. They’d write songs in my praise, build statues in my honor and James would name his first son after me.”
Remus and Peter’s snorted with laughter and James bet his beloved broom that Sirius would be pouting and glaring at them.
“What if he has all girls?” Peter asks, still chuckling.
The boys’ banter became background noise as they continued, and James concentrated on Lily sitting beside him. She was uncharacteristically quiet, and that was never a good sign. It was the calm before the storm unfolded.
“This is my fault.” She whispers, as if on queue, before breaking down. He could feel something wet sliding down his hands now. Tears. She was crying. She, Lily Evans, was crying over him, James Potter. Who knew this day would grace the Earth?
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this, Red. I mean it.” Sirius said angrily.
“No, they wouldn’t have.. they wouldn’t have if I wasn’t..” she was sobbing now. No, Lily, don’t cry over me. I’m fine! James’ heart longed to put his arms around her, to wipe the tears off her face and kiss her. To reassure her that he was indeed fine or will be anyways. But he couldn’t so much as twitch his fingers to let Lily know he was here. That he’d always be here for her.
“They wouldn’t have what, Lily? Come after these two? Do you not realize how absurd you sound? You expect everyone in this castle to stop befriending muggle borns for the fear of getting attacked?” Remus asked incredulously.
“Blood traitor, and bloody proud.” Sirius declared happily and probably followed that with a shit eating grin.
“But..” Lily began but Sirius cut her off.
“I’m healthy as a horse, Lils, and I’m sure James will be too eventually. He would prance around dancing awfully in his bloody cast the moment he hears that he landed those ruddy Slytherins in the hospital wing.” chuckled Sirius, trying to lighten the mood. I do not prance, Sirius Black, James thought shooting daggers at his best mate in his mind.
“If you’ve forgotten the events of the last hour, you both are here too!” Lily reminded.
“Semantics,” scoffed Sirius. “We did give them a hard time before Avery conjured the fire.”
There was some shuffling, and then silence. James was knackered and he could feel sleep creeping up on him again.
“He’ll be safe without me.” Lily whispered, maybe hoping the three boys wouldn’t hear.
“Lily you’re being ridiculous.” Remus argues.
“No, if I wasn’t..” she stopped short and took in a deep breath. “He’s a pureblood, Remus. For Merlin’s sake, he’s a Potter! It’s not his battle to fight. It isn’t safe! I can’t risk his life!”
“You’re delusional if you think this isn’t his battle! Or Sirius’s! Or Peter’s! Or mine! This is all of ours, pureblood or not! And that’s how we’re going to fight it, together!” Remus bellowed, his voice echoing.
“You’re not alone in this, Lily. None of you are.” Peter added.
“Lily, you are not breaking my best mate’s heart for whatever ruddy logic your mind tells you. The guy is hopelessly in love with you and he even plans to marry you one day. I’m guessing- no I’m pretty sure he hasn’t told you that yet, okay I’m sorry, woman, stop giving me that look.” Sirius stammered.
“Lils, I know him to be the most loyal person I’ve ever met, and…” He paused and sighed. He continued in a very low voice, almost as if he would break down too.
"And there isn’t anything the guy wouldn’t do for you if he loves you. Please.. Just, don’t break his heart like that. You’d be breaking yours too.“
James couldn’t quite make sense of the words being spoken but he tried to fight the sleep taking over him like a warm blanket, long and hard, but he lost and it was dark again.
There was someone whispering. A very faint whisper.
”-and it’s been 3 days, James. Your bruises have healed and the cast has been removed. You broke your leg very badly in the fall. It took Madam Pompfrey a whole day to fix it properly. She wasn’t even mad, I heard she told you she’d refuse to fix you up next time you land yourself in one of her beds due to your pranks.“ Lily’s voice is warm, like honey.
"The burns though, they’ll take time to heal. Your body is covered in bandages. You don’t smell like you anymore.” She whines. “When you get up, I’ll force you to take a nice long bath and come to me only when you’re smelling like you.” James could sense a smile in her voice. “I’m wearing your quidditch jersey and it’s already started to lose your scent and smell more and more like me. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but your scent is very comforting.” James blushed inwardly at this confession.
“Sirius wasn’t too badly hurt. Just a few broken ribs and burns on his forehead. He was positively enraged when he realized the fire burnt some of his hair at the back of his head. It was hilarious, honestly. I’ve never seen him swear so much, and mind you, this is Sirius we’re talking about.” She chuckled a bit.
“Peter has come in every day with some new chocolate frogs for you even though your bedside table is already overflowing with chocolates and flowers, courtesy of your little fan club.”
“And me?” She paused to sigh. “I’ve not left this chair for 3 days and I will make sure you remember it for the rest of your godforsaken life cause this chair is uncomfortable and my arse hurts. I think it might be permanently deformed. The boys nick some food off the table and bring it for me. And I’ve been stealing some of your frogs too, I hope you don’t mind. Madam Pompfrey is kind enough to let me stay for the weekend, though I think she finds it utterly amusing to chuck Sirius out of the wing when he disturbs her peace.”
“Your mom visited. She broke down seeing you like this. No mother deserves to see her only son lying unconscious in a hospital bed. I tried to comfort her, but then we were both in tears and Sirius was the one comforting us. She’s nice, your mom. She had to leave though. I promised her I’d owl her the moment you open your eyes.”
“Professor McGonagall came too. She sat by your bedside for a good hour, I think. I know she makes it looks like she despises you and your pranks but she positively dotes on you. I reckon it’s because of last year’s Quidditch Cup sitting proudly on the table in her office. This reminds me, Gryffindor trounced Ravenclaw yesterday. I didn’t go to see the match, and neither did the boys, but your team came here after the victory. They won 320 to 140. You trained them well, Captain.”
“Sirius charmed all the chocolate frogs to tap dance on your bed. Then screamed and ran off like the drama queen he is when I sent the same frogs charging after him. One jumped down his shirt and he started wriggling trying to get it out. The sod twisted his ankle and fell down. Remus laughed so much he too fell down from his chair. Such hopeless tossers you have for mates, James, I love them.” She giggles.
She sighs. She sounds really tired and worn out.
“I don’t know if you can hear but, I just want to say it. I know it’s just been a month since we’ve started dating, and I was so convinced that we wouldn’t work out, but you’ve made me so happy, James.” Her voice wobbles at the end.
“James, I love you. I think I have for a quite a while now. Please, wake up because I want to look into your eyes and say it.” With that, there is soft warm kiss on his forehead and everything goes black again.
James wasn’t sure what had woken him up because there was pin drop silence in the room. It was a few seconds before the events of that day played in his mind and he immediately sat up straight with wide eyes. Something dropped with a clutter beside him and he suddenly felt so dizzy that he collapsed back onto the bed with a groan.
“Woah woah calm down there mate.” James promptly looked at the source of the voice and squinted but all he could see was a black blur but he knew that black blur very well. He felt something being nudged into his hands and immediately put his glasses on as the world around him suddenly came into focus. The infirmary was empty, his being the only bed that was occupied. The little table on the end of his bed was littered with both empty and unopened boxes of chocolate. A small gryffindor banner was dangling from the edge of the table.
“Lily is gonna hex me so bad I’ll resemble a toad. You had all the time in the world, mate, and you picked now to wake up from your deep slumber?” an annoyed Sirius was babbling while picking up the Bertie Borts he had dropped in surprise.
“What?”
“Lily. She is gonna be so pissed.” he was pouting now. “The crazy woman hasn’t left your bedside in 4 days, James!” He exclaimed. “She looked absolutely exhausted, and not to mention she smelled rather awful. So I had to yank her off that chair she had been glued to and force her under a shower.”
“She wanted to be there when you woke up.” he adds after a beat.
James tried sitting up again, and with a little help from Sirius he was propped against the pillow. Yanking the duvet covering his body down, he surveyed his own injuries noticing white bandages littered on his bare abdomen and chest. His legs looked fine, there were faint bruises on his arms and his left hand was lightly wrapped up in a bandage.
“What happened?” James asked in spite of remembering everything with vivid detail.
“Mulciber and Avery.” is all he says before collapsing on the infamous chair. James nods, knowing Sirius doesn’t want to recall anything. “Don’t worry. McGonagall took care of it. Apparently an attack on her beloved chaser and head boy is not something she takes lightly.”
“How long was I out?” James asks.
“4 days, I think. Gave us all a good scare, you did. Especially Lily.”
“Is she okay though?”
“She was quite shaken up.”
“And you?”
“Spiffing, although Remus would beg to differ. He reckons my hair is no longer silky.”
James furrowed his brows at the absurdity of the statement from his best mate.
“Anyways, Mum Potter visited. She wanted to shift you to St. Mungo’s but Pompfrey insisted that you’re being taken care of here. She was very worried, started crying. Seeing her cry, James, I swore I’ll never forgive you for making her cry like that, Lily too, I was worried even I’d start bawling my eyes too seeing the two like that but-”
“James?” Lily was frozen at the entrance to the room, as pale as a ghost. Her eyes were a bit puffy with prominent dark circles underneath it, and they were already lining with tears.
“James?” She asked again as if she was sure it was a hallucination of some sort. Relief washed over James as he heard her voice again and the tears dropped from her eyes.
“I’m here.” Was all he said before Lily closed the distance between her and the bed and threw her arms around his neck. Instinctively, James wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, feeling her body shaking with sobs.
“I’ll owl Mum you’re awake.” Sirius said, hiding a smile, and James nodded.
“Hey, I’m okay, I’m okay.” James chanted and ran his hand on her back soothingly. Fresh from a shower, she smelled absolutely divine and he buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent and letting it envelope around him. “Shh, Lily I’m okay.”
It was long before Lily regained her composure, she did eventually, her arms sliding around his shoulders to cup his cheeks. James pressed a light kiss to her forehead.
“You were unconscious for 4 days, James.” She cried.
“I’m sorry.”
“You better be sorry for putting me through that.” Lily fumed but James just chuckled. She buried her head in his neck. “Just, promise me, you’ll never make me go through that ever again.”
“Do you plan to keep me around for that long, Evans?” James cocked his head to the side, looking at her and grinning widely.
“Hmm.” She nods. “You’re stuck with me, Potter, whether you like it or not.”
“Oh I don’t know about that, you’re rather needy. And you have way too many mood swings, I can’t physically keep up. It’s frustrating, you know, when you-” He teased, grinning mischievously.
“Shut up, Potter.” Lily smiled despite the tears still leaking out of her eyes, and kissed him.
“We’re never getting past the surnames, are we?” James asked, as he pulled away a bit.
“Nuh uh. Never. It’s our thing now.” She agreed.
James and Lily sat there like that for a long time, foreheads touching and breaths mingling, just relieved to be together again. Then Lily shifted, probably remembering his bandages and broken leg, but James’ arms wrapped more tightly around her, steering her until she was fully perched on his lap.
“Your leg-” She began to protest but James cut her off.
“Doesn’t hurt.” He reassured her and she gave him a small smile. Her hands trailed lightly down his chest and stomach, gently circling the white bandage sticking to his skin. James reached out, hooking a finger under her chin and forcing her to look into his eyes.
“Hey, I’m okay.” Lily looked at him for a long time, probably reassuring herself, before nodding.
“You smell.” She said at last, wrinkling her nose, a playful smile worming its way onto her face.
James laughed, and brought his face closer to hers.
“Do I, now?” He asked, raising one eyebrow.
“It’s absolutely vile, not that you smelled good before too-”
“Oh please, my cologne makes birds swoon on their very feet.”
“You’ve been fed lies.” She argued, shaking her head and laughing.
“Have not-”
“Have too. I don’t know who told you that, I hope it’s not Sirius because he smells like a wet dog and that is-”
“But you find it comforting.” It’s not a question. Lily looked at him, shocked and her eyes widened as realization dawned on her.
“You heard?” she whispered, her lips trembling.
“Bits and pieces, here and there.” James says nonchalantly, his hands suddenly trailing down Lily’s back. “How’s that lovely arse of yours?” he asked with a smirk, his hands cupping her arse.
“Squished like a rotten tomato, thanks to your beauty sleep.”
“It’s still a lovely arse.” James remarked.
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere.”
“Trust me, I’m well versed with that. But I do expect my Jersey back.” He says, tugging at the hem of his jersey that she’s wearing.
“Finders, keepers.”
“Technically, you stole it.”
“I’m allowed to steal my boyfriend’s jersey whenever I please, Potter. Some blokes even find that endearing.”
“Hmm, it does looks rather nice on you. I like this, especially. I might just allow this violation.” He says, indicating to the Potter written across the back.
“Possessive much?”
“Or I could just give you detention for stealing.”
“How about I bribe you with some fantastic snogging that will make you swoon?”
“Lily Evans, you dirty little thing.”
Lily gave him a little smile and leaned in so that their cheeks were touching.
“But I’m your dirty little thing.” She whispered seductively in his ear that made James very, very uncomfortable in a good way.
“I’ve pictured you saying that so many times, but never in a bed in the sodding hospital wing where anyone can walk in.”
“Hmm.. maybe later then.” Lily smirked, and turns around to get off the bed.
“Hey! Come back here!” James whines, pulling her back towards him.
Lily smiled, and then settled again, her head against James’ shoulder, breathing on his neck. She pressed the lightest of kisses on the base of his throat.
“I was so worried, you know.” She whispers.
“I know.”
“It was so hard, James, seeing you lying there bruised and bloodied all because you’re with me, I’d never forgive myself-”
“Breaking up with me, are you?” Lily stilled. Then not even a second later, he was looking into her beautiful emerald eyes which were laced with worry.
“James, I-”
“No, Lily, I thought we were above this blood status-”
“No, James-”
“Then why? I don’t give two hoots about-”
“JAMES!” Lily exclaimed, putting her hand on his lips to stop him from speaking. Then she whispered.
“You’re all I have left.”
“I love you.” James whispered and a vibrant smile flashed across Lily’s face, new tears pooling in her eyes.
“I love you too.”
James cupped both her cheeks, and kissed her with all the energy he had left.
“Also, I’m going to hex Sirius for being the first one to tell you.”
“Hex him together, shall we? I have a few things I can think of that need avenging.”
“Together, then.”
I live for Jily banter.